Head about to explode

[Nocluewhattodo22]

Title says it all!! A little background- Singie mum for 10 years, dd left home last year , no family or local friends. Afraid of decisions as have no one to turn to for support of things go wrong.
I’m working in a job which doesn’t pay much. Feel constantly stressed. Dream about work most nights recently - have I forgotten something? Had proper nightmares too. I’ve not been told my performance is an issue and have been doing the job for many years.
Can’tdecide whatever to sell up and move away somewhere cheaper - would then have a whilenot working which could be a blessing or a curse.ie rest nice but would I get another job?
Head also full of things that went wrong when bringing up dd- eg why did she lie to me so much, was it my fault? She’s now very successful and has an amazing job and it’s lovely when we meet up!
I have very little confidence in my abilities and am terrified of trying new things. I feel exhausted with everything and feel like I’m wishing away the next 10 years or so until I retire.
Just hoping someone can help 😊

Your life from the little you've written actually sounds successful. You've raised a happy, career-driven daughter who brings you joy (and seemingly you to her), which is a major achievement. You have a job you know and perform well at and you seem to have the option to not work and move should you choose. I know fuck all about therapy and all very easy to say 'look at the positives' but in your case, maybe you do need to talk it out, even to get a different perspective on your life. In terms of moving and giving up work, be careful you don't end up isolated. I didn't appreciate quite how social my job was (and God knows I moaned about my colleagues enough) until I left and realised how much my weekends revolved around Friday night afterwork drinks.

Thank you @Yetanotherthrowaway for your kind comments.
My job is not social at all! Nothing in common with my few colleagues so more than happy I’m not forced to socialise!!
Maybe trying antidepressants again along with some counselling is a good idea.

What hobbies and pastimes do you have - what do you do for fun?

@madaffodilnot much that involves other people!

Ah - well there you are then. What sort of things do you like doing - how about a dance class like adult beginners tap or something like that? Or a book group, or evening classes in a craft you've always fancied having a go at.

Perhaps widening your horizons and give yourself something else to think about would help you sleep better too. There are few things worse than dreaming about work!!

@madaffodil thanks but that doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried all sorts of things, groups,etc before but dint click with people easily at all,

@Nocluewhattodo22 Do you like collecting things? Vintage costume jewellery, postcards, Wade Whimsies, small silver whatnots - anything like that? I spend every Sunday morning at one car boot sale or another. Gets you out in the fresh air, doesn't cost a lot and you do chat with the stallholders a bit.

If you have green fingers, how about an allotment?

Family tree research?

You need a hobby. 🙂

menopause symptoms!

And?

Are you suffering from menopause? Anxiety is one of the symptoms,

These are the things that help me get through the days/weeks;

Magnesium Chellated from Solgar
Vitamin D: 2000 au
Meditation: I listen to lots on my head phones: The Mindful Movement in Youtube
Yoga
Music
Excercise
Focus on the day only
Being kind to myself
Think of my job as just a job. Do my best but find something to focus on in the hours I am not there.

I still keep looking at my pension bee calculator on when I can retire though 😅 I am nearly 52.

And what? That’s probably what it is!

Yes, it always is these days. Whatever's wrong - if a woman is over a certain age it must be the bloody menopause. As if nothing else is ever going on in someone's life, oh no it can't be that - it's invariably the menopause.

Bit of a random one, @Nocluewhattodo22, but did you play (and enjoy) netball at school? I joined a local social league last year and found a fab group of women that I'm in a team with. Ages in my team range from early 20s to me at 52! I find it a really good stress relief. Once a week for the 45 minutes or so of a game, I genuinely switch off from everything else in life as I have to concentrate on the moment.

right……i’m guessing you’re either a) under the age of 40, b) a man, or c) one of the lucky people who doesn’t experience any significant symptoms. It’s about time more people, including the medical professionals, recognised the signs and stopped diagnosing women of a certain age as being depressed and in need of
a hobby!

My feelings are definitely not related to the menopause.