Love my job but...

[scottishblue72]

I love my job. But my manager gives me anxiety! They can be very hot and cold. One moment they are relaxed and easy breezy, the next they are micromanaging and being quite rude! I am old enough to realise their management style is due to the stress of their job and it trickles down! But I find it quite hard to deal with.

Any tips on dealing with this? (I can't really say anything and leaving is not an option) but was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and has any coping-strategies they use?

I had a manager like this and it got better, but not completely, by gaining their trust and being a bit of a sounding board and someone they could offload to. This was after showing my worth via my work and adapting to the micromanaging style through more visible progress reporting.

It was mostly downward pressure from a bad senior manager. They ended up leaving and sharing some of the details. Their replacement is worse and I’m leaving. It’s not ok to behave that way. It’s terrible for the mental health of those managed by inconsistent people as you’ll end up walking on eggshells and can’t trust them. Rudeness has no place in work. If it’s humiliating or offensive it’s bullying.

Keep notes of every occasion of rudeness to you and others, note witnesses. If there are other people managed by this person they’ll probably have similar complaints and you could build a collective grievance. Be careful when raising it but you may find people mention it without prompting - a lot of people have shared with me. If you have a senior colleague you trust, ask for advice in a mentoring context. This gives you advice and raises a flag to someone trusted by the top management.

Otherwise, meditation…and hope they get slip up and are rude to the wrong person and you get to enjoy the sight of them being escorted out.