What to do?

[jamiejamiejamie]

I work in an organisation where social niceties aren't the norm. During a team meeting the manager reprimanded a vulnerable team member in front of us all. She ended it saying"do you understand me?" It was mortifying for all concerned my poor colleague burst into tears when the manager left. My colleague is probably ND as are my children (asd) and I feel utterly sick about what went down. If I create too much I'll pay the price. I just want to work to escape my own difficult home life so don't want a war at work but what is a good thing to say when it happens again so I'm ready? I'm not confrontational but need to do something.

Wow that was not nice at all it seems your co worker was spoken to as though he/she is a little child & it is not acceptable at all. I hope someone comes along and advise

Entirely inappropriate of the manager - if there is something to say then it should be in private. But what makes them "vulnerable"; and unless they have an ND diagnosis it also isn't really appropriate to be making such assumptions. There's a little too much "must be ND" on this site.

In all honesty I can't see that there is anything that you can say in a meeting like that that isn't doing the same thing as the manager did; nor that won't escalate things not only for you but for the other person too. I would probably have a word privately with the manager and express my opinion that their behaviour was inappropriate in that setting, and that it had caused distress and discomfort. Or I would speak to HR or another senior about what happened. Or I would advise the person spoken to that they could go to their union and offer to go with them if they wanted.