Moving sites, do I jump or stay?

[NoStarOnTheChristmasTree]

I work in a business that has multiple sites. Mid management.

I have moved sites a number of times and am currently at a site where we are have turned the site around. (Think hazards reduced, complaints reduced, staff etc)

I have worked at multiple sites with my current manager. We work well as a team and I consider us friends.

Due to the site doing well, current boss is due to be promoted and move sites again. He has said he will make it a condition that I come with him. This is common. We dont know the new site, but if it is the one rumoured, then it is more hassle for me to get to, stressful longer commute. But I would go, as I know we are a great team.

If I stayed at the current site I could be temporarily promoted, maybe, but there is no guarantee. I could easily get a horrible manager (there are many in the business!) The timings of boss moving also fit into what they said a while ago, that I would be ready for promotion in x number of months. But that doesn't fit me going with boss to new site. Plus I dont know if I even want a promotion!

Sorry this is complicated!

Meanwhile, boss of another site has approached me and said it is being discussed I move to his site, in current role, with a salary bump. I am not allowed to be approached directly about this without boss knowing first, but was given the tip off to think about it. If I raise it i would get potential new boss in trouble. It would also cause fallout between the two men. The thing is, upper upper boss knows that moving me would piss off boss. So I have no idea if this conversation has/will happen/ed. I have been told by potential boss not to mention it at all, who despite being even closer friend to boss, has not told him either.

So, what do I do when or if approached? Move with salary bump? Stay on current site and hope for promotion (unlikely) or deal with shit new boss, or move with current boss to shit stressful site?

And if I dont get approached, I know its been kiboshed by boss. Is this a good thing? Or a bad thing? Or if I do, and it comes out I knew, what do I say to my friend?? How do I justify not having told him or asked him about it earlier?

I think I'd just wait to see what happens and make a decision when any offers actually arise.

If more than one option, go to the big boss or your friend boss and have an honest discussion about your options.

If a promotion isn't actually what you want, but a pay rise is, without the excess travel, then the role with the boss that approached you might be the better option.

What about a mobile role, servicing all 3 sites until you decide which might suit you best?

Thanks. Yes, I am currently sitting on it and havent said anything. The only reason I was spoken to by potential boss (PB) is because I was on their site getting supplies. If I hadnt have gone, as was the original plan, Friend boss (FB) would gone and I would be none the wiser. Given how close they are I cant believe PB hanst said anything to FB, except for the fallout issue! Upper boss (UB) would speak to FB first as it was him that spoke to PB. Then I might or might not hear.

Do I trust FB to make the condition? Maybe, but they also may have no choice. They have been pushing me lately, and negative feedback, but I know it's from a boss position to make me better as a manager to get me to the next level, as from a friend position we still socialise, we are good at keeping the two separate.

Do I want promotion? Dont know. Stressful but I know I could do it. And I wouldn't get to decide who my support was, and there are many who I 100% wouldn't want that are in the pool. Not being big headed, I am good at my job (we all have areas to improve), know my weaknesses and have a good work ethic, loyal, dependable and work many many times over my hours to make sure the site is in the best place. I know I am a good support - better than a lot in the business. All bosses know that. Is FB taking advantage? It has been mentioned, but I choose to believe not as they do the same as me, there all hours of the day. They know their "new" support wouldnt do what I do.

I trust PB but arent as close to him. I dont trust UB, as we dont have the history that I do with the others (obviously, being one level removed)

Mobile between the 3 isnt an option.

Any other thoughts on this? I am tempted to tell FB because he says the worst thing anyone can do is lie to him, and if I don't and he finds out, I feel like our friendship would be ruined anyway?

@NoStarOnTheChristmasTree your not lying to him though as he is not aware of what's happening.

Imagine if you say something and not only does nothing come of these jobs but you are made to look bad? I just wouldn't be saying anything. IF FB asks that's a different kettle of fish....

What did you say to the boss who secretly contacted you? That you'd think about it or what? Where did you leave the conversation?

I absolutely would not say anything at this stage. It's all too wishy washy and you don't want to get between FB, PB and UB. They need to sort their shit out. PB has jumped the gun, it may not come off.

As for lying to FB, that's bullshit too, as you have been told something in confidence and so it's none of his business. You gave your word, keep it. If FB says but you lied to me, you can say you were keeping your word and it wasn't up to you to stick your oar in. It didn't sound like a real offer, just that he was sounding you out confidentially and you were non-committal. You've done nothing wrong here.

Leave them all to it, and act on offers made properly and legitimately only. Ignore the rest. It's unprofessional.

I would be wary of PB tbh. He's mucking about with your FB's team trying to poach people and doing things back-handedly. I would think very long and hard before jumping ship.