Would you stick it out?

Nictales · 2023-06-03T08:19:47+00:00

I am in a terribly toxic job in a small office with 3 awful back biting women and the job is awful. I was completely misold it. I have a DH and two primary school age children. Hate the thought of leaving with no permanent job lined up. Has anyone ever left a toxic, misrepresented job and done temporary work? Not sure how long I can handle being there. Seems very risky but it is affecting my home life. What happens if temporary work is just as bad agh!!!

mycatsanutter · 03/06/2023 13:02

Why do you think you have to leave to do a temporary job ? Why not a permanent one ? I left a small toxic office after having been there 28 years , went to do something completely different. I absolutely love it , there hasn't been one day since I started ( feb) where I haven't wanted to go . Working in a toxic place is awful , it drags you down , I feel for you .

Original poster

Nictales · 03/06/2023 13:19

Of course permanent work is the best but whilst I'm waiting for a suitable permanent job to appear I thought a temporary job would suffice. 🤔

OP posts:

Hmovingforward · 03/06/2023 16:52

Hi, it’s a really horrid situation.

I’ve considered this before as I’m also in a nasty toxic workplace! However I don’t want a case of too many workplaces on my CV . I think the best thing to do is stick it out ( I know it’s hard!) until you find something permanent and suitable.

its extremely hard when your not happy where you work but try and take your time when finding the next role.
wishing you the best 🤗

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 03/06/2023 17:18

Has anyone ever left a toxic, misrepresented job and done temporary work?

Yes, but then I'd been temping for a while. I just told the agency it didn't work out and can they find me another role. The one I left is on my CV as a temp assignment rather than a perm job.

If temp job is just as bad you have the option of a week's notice or asking the agency to pull you out (I've done that, as well). Good agencies value their temps and want them to be working and happy.

Spinewars23 · 05/06/2023 18:12

Yes, just be sure to go with a decent agent who isn’t just advertising jobs to get registrations, I spent last Wednesday and Friday going for ‘immediately available, the we will make a decision today’ jobs, I’m still waiting to hear and jobs haven’t expired…! glad I did not rely solely on agencies. Just got a month’s wait to start a more permanent job.

Sorry you are having a rubbish time, I ran from my new mis sold job on gut reaction that it wouldn’t work out long term and that I’d rather save myself now then later down the line, only spent 9 days making a whole load of applications. Tried to learn a lesson of ask more questions next time and not be taken in so easily.

Original poster

Nictales · 05/06/2023 20:47

Thank you @Spinewars23 that's great you have a permanent role lined up. Well done!

This was my thinking as I know this role is going to get a heck of a lot worse as time goes on. I absolutely asked lots of questions (clearly not the right ones in hindsight but those questions I have now are not what I would have asked at interview and are only relevant to this job) that said I can take some learning from this. I visited the team twice before applying had copious amount of phone calls with them but they still managed to misrepresent the job. They must have seen me coming!!

OP posts:

rabbitcarrot · 06/06/2023 20:43

I am working in a toxic environment as well. Everyday is hoping for Friday/weekend.

It's a new job as this is my second month being there. I have been made redundant in my previous job this March. I were so panic back then.
Now I just need keep looking another opportunity, it's very stressful to think about going to that toxic office every morning which affect my mental health a lot.

poppy2021 · 07/06/2023 10:15

I'm in a job like that. In the middle between "we've always done it that way" old guard. And new over enthusiastic staff who want to walk before they can run.

I was invited for a chat with the practice and office managers yesterday as comments have been made about me thinking I'm senior to other staff and asked to "reflect" on it but no specific examples given. How the f**k can I do that if they won't tell me

Angelofthenortheast · 07/06/2023 10:22

Just start applying for jobs now and try and stick out your current job for 6 weeks while you do that. If you haven't secured anything for one month, leave and do temp work. I'd be temped to hand in my notice now to get motivated.

I've found that once I've committed to leaving, all the toxicity can just roll off your back.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 07/06/2023 10:26

From my recent experience I was in a toxic job involving bullying of me for 5 years. When I finally left I didn’t think it through and jumped into a similar toxic environment where I lasted 6 months and then another job for a year (all permanent). I was sick of the last job got another permanent one but with a psycho boss (not even joking!) and then have temped since. It’s hard to get a permanent job if you’re in a temp one but not impossible.

So I’d say go for permanent jobs but make sure they’re the right fit and don’t leave just due to a toxic environment.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 07/06/2023 10:28

Angelofthenortheast · 07/06/2023 10:22

Just start applying for jobs now and try and stick out your current job for 6 weeks while you do that. If you haven't secured anything for one month, leave and do temp work. I'd be temped to hand in my notice now to get motivated.

I've found that once I've committed to leaving, all the toxicity can just roll off your back.

That’s so true re the leaving. I’d been bullied, had therapy for it and in final 6 months to a year I knew I’d be leaving but had more confidence in this.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 07/06/2023 10:32

I was invited for a chat with the practice and office managers yesterday as comments have been made about me thinking I'm senior to other staff and asked to "reflect" on it but no specific examples given. How the fk can I do that if they won't tell me

You can't, because that's a nonsense. If they don't give you examples it's not actionable feedback, it's gossip. You can't put something right if people don't tell you what's wrong. I was told I was rude but mysteriously manager had no examples when I asked for times and to whom and what about. And an offer to apologise to that person publicly was skated over.

Chickenwing2 · 07/06/2023 10:42

I was in this situation last year and ended up having to take time off sick with stress. During that time i applied for other jobs (it took 4 months to get another job)

I didnt get any sick pay as I had been in the job such a short time so obviously you need to calculate if this is affordable for you. I drained my savings but it was totally worth it for me to get away from that environment.

mycatsanutter · 07/06/2023 10:43

@GonnaGetGoingReturns that sounds awful , hope you are doing ok now . My old place was very gossipy and bitchy the final straw for me was when one of the boss's stopped talking to me purely because I didn't want to talk about something personal that was nothing to do with her and didn't affect my work , so unprofessional!

poppy2021 · 07/06/2023 12:25

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 07/06/2023 10:32

I was invited for a chat with the practice and office managers yesterday as comments have been made about me thinking I'm senior to other staff and asked to "reflect" on it but no specific examples given. How the fk can I do that if they won't tell me

You can't, because that's a nonsense. If they don't give you examples it's not actionable feedback, it's gossip. You can't put something right if people don't tell you what's wrong. I was told I was rude but mysteriously manager had no examples when I asked for times and to whom and what about. And an offer to apologise to that person publicly was skated over.

Same here. I'm tempted to go back in to see them today.