3 children and working - how do you manage without family to help?

[paolosgirl]

I'm going back to work in February after mat leave. DS1 is 10 and DD is 8 - and DS2 will be 11 months. I am SO busy (as well as seriously and completely knackered) without paid work thrown in as well, what with ferrying them to various things, keeping on top of the housework etc, and DH not getting in til 7pm most nights.

So - if you don't have family close by to help out, and lots of spare cash for cleaners etc, how do you manage with 3 kids and work? Any advice/tips very gratefully received.....

3 children and paid employment is hard work! I also have 3 dcs and have always worked and have no family close by. The difference though is that my 3 were pretty close in age, whereas you have a big gap between first two and dc3. I would guess this is where the logistics is a problem - ferrying the older ones around as they are at the next 'phase' of childhood, whereas the youngest is still a baby with all the different routines that go with it. As far as cleaning/ironing/shopping go, get any help that you can without breaking the bank, and then try really hard to not worry about it. Easier said than done, but i know each time i went back to work after maternity leave, I really did just adjust my expectations. At the end of the day, if your bathroom's not sparkling and the kids underwear isn't ironed - so what? I'd also suggest cutting down any out of school activities that arent really necessary. Kids generally are happy to chill out and be at home with maybe just one or two activities per week. Also, make the baby's routines fit around any ferrying that you have to do - eg bath baby and get him in pjs and stick in the pushchair/car if you need to pick up older ones. I've also found it useful to plan my weeks meals and make sure that mid week (when you and kids are probably at your most tired) you have REALLY simple stuff - pasta and sauce or even a cheese toastie and glass of milk. Hope that helps.

Would also be interested in this. I only have 2 dds, age 8 and 6, although dd2 has special needs which can be time-consuming. I work 4 days a week and find it a constant struggle keeping up with everything! I have basically had to lower my standards quite a bit over time , eg do very minimal ironing. Also I try to get dd1 to help out. I guess your older two could have regular daily tasks?

Hi - I am a mum of 2, dd 4yrs and ds 2 yrs. I work 3 days a week in a demanding job and dare I say it, I actually find being at work easier and less stressful than the 2 days I have at home!

My dh leaves home at 6.30am every day and doesn;t get back til 15 mins b4 kids in bed (if he comes back - often away)

I have found working, once you get into the routine, a great contrast to being at home with kids. The house doesn;t get as messy for a start....you will need to be mega organised on shopping - do internet food shopping.,
Good luck and try and enjoy the independence!! I certainly do!!

Thanks for the advice here - it's so hard . Even one or 2 after school things times 2 becomes 2 or 4 after school things, and at the end of a long day and a 35 min commute, I really don't want to go back out - but also don't want to miss out on sports or organised social things The meal thing is also a killer - I think we'll just have to forego the cooked meal, and have pasta.