My kids are stopping me applying for this job!

[2Creamteas]

Help! I've seen a job which is ideal for me in a neighbouring town 7 miles away.Its 5 mornings a week start time is 8.45 am. This means I would have to set off from my home ideally at 8.10 am to get there , park and set myself up in the building. I'd really love to try and see if I can get this job, however the closing date is getting nearer and the application form is still sitting on my computer. Why ? Because of my kids !!
Dd1 is in yr 7 and is a nightmare in the mornings. Can't get up, takes bloody ages in bathroom then still comes out half dressed and with tatty hair.Makes a fuss every morning about various petty issues. Has had loads of time off already with coughs and colds, plays me up every week when it's PE or when she's got to go school if she's having a period. She's emotional and has frequent friendship issues which end up with the schools pastoral mentor sorting it out. Anyway she's told me if she has to go breakfast club before school, she's not going to school!!!
Dd2 is organised and bright in the mornings and nothing like her sister, but doesn't want to go breakfast club because she will be the only one in her class that goes, apart from a boy who she hates. Both girls have told me that they don't want anything to change. I think they've been lucky so far that they've had me around to do school runs, loads of kids go to wrap around care and they survive! We really could do with the extra money. Help

Do they understand what money means? Both in terms of extra treats/new clothes and in terms of not getting the leccy cut off/being able to replace the washing machine when it breaks.

If it was 2 hours of after school club that they were hating every day then I might have some sympathy for them but breakfast club is really such a short time, most of which time is spent queueing up for your breakfast and eating it, that they don't have a leg to stand on.

Go for it. When it comes to it they could always go to a cm before school instead although I would think dd1 could leave at similar time to you and get herself to school. It might even encourage more independence and responsibility. By the time you've gone through a recruitment process you'd be near summer holidays anyway.

How old is dd2? Would she have to go to breakfast club, ie. not just get herself to school on time.

Are you on your own with your children? Does their father take on any of the morning shift?

Perhaps you simply not being there in the morning will make your dd1 grow up a bit?

I agree that your children have been lucky to have you around so much, now they need to get with the programme and start living in the real world! I suspect the vast majority of working parents leave the house before 8.10am.

Just apply and if you get it tell them how it is going to be. Why are you asking them?? You are the grown up.

They probably don't fully understand that "I don't want to go to breakfast club" = mum can't work. They're not joining the dots. I would just apply and you'll all have to adjust if you get the job.

Just apply. You can deal with the logistics and moods if you get the job.

I know.Have explained to dd1 about money and about debt and how we need more money for the family. I've explained that dad's money isn't quite enough....even said I might have to sell the car if things don't change soon.Shes old enough to understand but is unreasonable about it.! I know I need to be tougher with her but feel like I'm walking on eggshells, she went completely off the rails last year and ended up seeing a counsellor in school, I guess I'm just trying to avoid another volcano eruption!!

Woman up! You are the parent here, take control of the situation. You can't let your kids decide if you'll even apply for a job or not.

So they're nightmares in the morn and they don't like change - there will be techniques and tactics posters can share with you to help. But honestly, it sounds like they are used to having their own way (probably because you've always been there to facilitate that) and it's time for them to learn the world doesn't revolve round them.

Go and print that application off and get it in!

Bobbitty. Dd2 is in year 5

How do they currently get to school and how far away is it?

I know I need to 'woman up ' !!!!

Who's the parent?

Could you give DD1 a choice - either she is responsible for getting to school on time every day on her own or she must attend breakfast club? Is DD2 old enough to have the same choice?

Violet. I take them in the car ! Dd1 school is 3 miles away and dd2s school is 1 mile away

So by the time dd has caught a bus she would leave roughly with you. What time does dh leave?

I've told dd1 I can drop her half way and she can walk in with a friend or on her own! Thus avoiding breakfast club! Doesn't want to do that either! God she sounds like a spoilt brat! I'd even give her money for sweets!!!

he leaves early he starts work at 6am so he's out of the equation

Cream is there no bus they could get? I think I'd be putting my foot down here.

Also it really doesn't matter what they want to do. It's what is practical that matters.

Apply for the job; get the job; tell them how they are going to get to school; leave them to it*.

That's how they grow up, after all!

(*that is - then don't listen to the howls of teen angst)

Lol yes it's clear now what I have to do! I need to grow a set!!

Violet yep she could get a bus but I would be going right past school so mayaswell drop her rather than pay out for bus tickets

I'll just have to wrestle her in and she's as big as me !!!

Oh go for the job.

Have a family meeting. Listen to what they have to say about it. Maybe they're aware of bullying or something in breakfast club that you're not aware of... Remind them to be calm- no shouting of going off in huffs about it.

Ask them how they'd like to get to school, and say that you expect them to be ready. Give them a choice from walking in / taking the bus/ coming with you.

Tell them they're in charge of themselves in the morning, and that you're not now going to be able to chivvy them along, and remind them that life doesn't always go their way.

They're part of the family, and part of wider society and sometimes they have to put up with the boy they hate in the mornings just so everyone else can get along.

Remind them that in life earning more and having more money will give them more choices, so if they want to use their time in breakfast club for revision, all the better.

Can they practice musical instruments in school in that time. In the dcs school some kids use that breakfast hour for piano practice and play their violins as well.

Thank them for their cooperation.
Getting ready the night before always gives an extra half hour in the mornings. Maybe try and start that as a policy.

Good luck with the job. Sounds brilliant and very good learning experience for the whole family.

Thanks everyone.😀