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Original poster

How many of you have both parents working f/t?

59 replies

YoSaffBridge · 21/12/2012 23:01

Just saw a thread that made me think about this. I know I am in a rarity: DH and I both work f/t. Luckily DH works shifts so DD isn't in childcare any more than about 30 hours a week. Anymore than about 40 hours and I think I would prefer a nanny, which we can't afford. But at the moment, I am in a profession which is struggling through the recession so a f/t job is preferable to no job at all.

However I don't know anyone else who have both parents working f/t, or anyone else whose DH is probably doing more childcare. Now my friends are starting to go back to work, I'm beginning to get comments on us both working f/t.

I guess I'm just interested in a rough straw poll - how many people have both parents working f/t? I feel in a massive minority here.

OP posts:

Festivedidi · 21/12/2012 23:07

We both work full time. Dd1 is now a teenager and she has grown up with me being a single parent working full time, then when she was 7 we moved in with dp and both of us work full time. She's happy, fairly successful at school, has friends, etc, fairly well-balanced as far as teenagers go.

Dd2 is 2years 9months. She has been at our lovely childminder full time since she was 6 months old. She's there from 8am-5pm Mon-Fri during term time. She absolutely loves the childminder and the other mindees, it's like having a second home, she actually said this the other day 'I have 2 houses, mummy's house and cm's house'. I don't know many families where both parents work full time but I do know some, and I have never had any comments about it.

solveproblem · 21/12/2012 23:08

We're both working full time, both 9-5.

We also both work within a ten minutes walk from home/school/childminder so I can drop my eldest at school in the mornings which really helps.

Two year old with childminder 8.50-5.10 everyday and she also picks our 6-year old from school.

I grew up with working parents so in my eyes this is normality, but it is quite rare around here with both parents working.

lljkk · 22/12/2012 09:41

(Not me, sorry, I have issues with exhaustion & couldn't do it). It does seem to be unusual in Britain. It's quite normal where I grew up, was the norm in my parents' generation, too, for both parents to work FT.

NotMostPeople · 22/12/2012 09:43

I don't work, I'm not sure I'd do the same if I could turn back the clocks.

CMOTDibbler · 22/12/2012 09:44

DH and I work ft, and both do some travel for work. No family help, but we make it all work out. DS is 6 now, and I went back to work at 4.5 months, so its been a long time!

HoleyGhost · 22/12/2012 09:47

It depends on where you live. I've been a SAHM, now work full time. It is challenging in a different way.

Nevercan · 22/12/2012 20:01

DH works full time and I work 3 days a week. We have dd1 1 yr and dd2 3 yrs.

ggirl · 22/12/2012 20:13

both full time here but as children are older we don't have to use childcare , dh home in time for ds 3 days a week and me 2 days a week.
dd at uni

we use annual leave/babysitter/dd on schoolholidays

fluffygal · 22/12/2012 20:24

We are both fulltime here, but I am f/t at uni (on placement) and also work part time on top of that. 2 year old DD at cm mon-fri 9-5 and other 4 children split between two cm's after school. This only started in september, before that I was working around DH so no childcare needed.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 22/12/2012 20:28

Both part-time. The only couple I know where both are full time have grandparents do the childcare lucky sods

gladyoucame · 22/12/2012 20:35

I went back to work ft in Sept after just over 4 years as SAHM. DS1 (4) just started at school and DS (just 3) at nursery. PIL do afterschool/nursery Childcare. I love working Ft (+) and DH also does more than 9-5. Out the house at 7.45 every morning and hopefully one of us is home for 6-6.30, except at m/e when it's later. I love working again (but feel a bit guilty 'cos I enjoy it so much - it's easier than SAHM sometimes)

orangeberries · 22/12/2012 20:35

theDoctrine I was going to say the same - without family support is very very difficult. I know people who both work full time but have no family around and they are exhausted all the time.

I work 3 days at the moment and just about cope. I do have 4 kids though, so maybe easier with less children, not sure. Just a huge juggling act, mainly due to illnesses and what feels like a constant stream of school demands (the last few weeks particularly demanding because of Christmas events, all happening at 2pm).

gladyoucame · 22/12/2012 20:36

Btw was going back to work anyway if PIL not doing Childcare had decided to find afterschool nanny

SwedishEdith · 22/12/2012 20:43

I did work f/t when I was a single parent, with no family support - had no alternative = knackered.

Panzee · 22/12/2012 20:52

We did till husband got made redundant. Childcare was split between grandparents and childminder. Although I work term time only, if I didn't I would have probably gone part time.

SupermanEatsKryptonite · 22/12/2012 20:56

DH and I both work ft, no family within 500 miles so do it all alone. Have 7yo, 6yo and 2yo. Older two are at school and youngest is with CM for about 34 hours each week.

I don't really see it as a struggle tbh, you don't miss what you've never had and I'm glad I made the decision to go back after having my first as I've continued getting promotions etc and managed to negotiate a huge pay rise (four figures) and flexible working -for returning from ML two months early after my 3rd.

Weirdly I find it much harder now they are in school, with the various events each week where a family member is expected to turn up - Xmas play, christingle service and Xmas walkabout all in the same wee grrr! Luckily I work flexible hours and from home 3 days out of five so can make most of these, but appreciate it may not be as easy for some.

For what it's worth, I don't know anyone else at either of my older dc's schools where both parents work ft.

solveproblem · 22/12/2012 22:18

Superman: I'm starting to get really cross with everything going on at school all the time. I want to be involved but things are always at 9/10am or 2pm.

Had it been around lunchtime I could do it as I work near school, or if they had plays etc in the evenings....

That's one of the few things that make me feel like a shitty mother for working.

solveproblem · 22/12/2012 22:20

Oh, and school never give us more than a weeks notice for these things so I can never plan meetings etc around it.

christmosschops30 · 22/12/2012 22:21

We both work full time with three dcs! Am hoping to drop to four days in April though

NotSpartacus · 22/12/2012 22:24

We do. We are unusual (the only parents who do this in my DD's class at school for example, and the only ones out of our friends).
Dh leaves at 7 and is back at 6. I leave at 8 and come back when I can. Sometimes we work from home. We have an excellent nanny. We couldn't do it otherwise.

PinotGrigioandaMincePie · 22/12/2012 22:27

Both DH & me work 4 days a week so we need childcare for 3 days. This was partly by choice (me) and necessity (DH's hours got cut due to the recession).

ArtigeneAuberchoke · 22/12/2012 22:36

DH and I both work ft (although my 41 hours ate compressed into 4 long days so I'm home Fridays). DCs are 6 and 4 but it's been like this since I went back when DC2 was 8 months. We have no helpful family and could not do it without a nanny.

I do have 9 weeks leave a year and take it all in the school hold. That makes all the difference in terms if my guilt levels. I enjoy my work but the guilt can be extreme. I wish there were more hours on the day so i could see the kids more and work. The continuity of a nanny the kids love also helps me feel less guilty.

This thread has made me realise that no other patents I know both work FT outside the home.

Balancedk · 22/12/2012 22:38

I am the only parent and I work full-time, for me a good nursery has been the best choice. Time with my kids is quality time and my kids knowing that with our without my ex husband they can have a good standard of life is very important. Even when I was married I worked full-time. Every child and every family is different.Go with your gut...

Balancedk · 22/12/2012 22:40

Do not let such things worry you, your kids know you are amazing.the will grow up with good social skills, a great role model and the ability to relate well to other people.Most importantly they will know how to share attention.

SeriousWispaHabit · 22/12/2012 22:51

We both work FT. DH does 9-5 Mon-Fri and I do 4 long days with some evenings and the odd Saturday morning. I have some later starts though so get to do the school/nursery run on 3 mornings and DH does 1 morning.

DDs are 4 and 2. I went out for a drink with some friends the other night and had some 'helpful' comments about how I was very brave to work FT and miss out on their childhood. Nothing about how DH was missing out.

I do loads with the DDs and we are a close family who all spend a lot of time together and manage to eat as a family 4 nights a week on average. We both have more than average annual leave and use it to go on holiday or spend time as a family.

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