Poor poor men and boys

[Pippincoxapple]

I have noticed that there has been a rush of late to train men and boys on how not to attack or rape women. I feel so foolish. I thought not attacking women and girls was quite easy.

But no. Special courses need to be given. If they have not taken one of these courses, it is entirely not their fault if they accidentally attack us. Must be all those men "accidentally" raping women we have heard about over the years.

Oops, I accidentally tripped and removed several layers of clothing from both myself and someone else. And oops! I accidentally started raping her. How did this happen?

I remember a training course years ago where some of the excuses for raping children were bizarre, along the lines of “I just tripped and it went inside her” so probably long overdue.

There's more stuff coming out. I'm sorry to link to the dreadful Daily Mail, but have you seen this: https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16145349/charity-teaches-migrants-not-sex-underage-girls.html
I think there's a disturbing underlying message to both this and the official government leaflet, that we British women are available for sex but you've just got to make sure that we're old enough!

According to some survey, there was a high percentage of men who would sexually assault if they could get away with it, presumably many of them haven’t and therefore the not getting away with it has stopped them so, to my mind, at least partly the focus could be on the not getting away with it part.
I’m not a statistician or data analyst or whatever to claim that survey is enough to base anything on but we’ve got to start somewhere because what they’ve been doing has led to an epidemic of MVAG.

First step is to stop exxcusing boys from bad behaviour with "boys will be boys". Yes, your 5yo probably didnt mean any harm by pointing and laughing at seeing the girls knickers on the climbing frame ir just from falling over... but the girls remembered. They started to alter how they played. They were upset.

If the sentence was chopping cocks off, the already parlous conviction rate would plummet more. Men won't sentence other men to that.

What we need is special courts, properly trained in all the myths and research, finding the balance of probabilities and sentencing with public safety as the only consideration. No juries of 'peers'. It would take skill and a lack of 'sides' but is worth trying. I'd volunteer for a public trained jury system.

Agree. Chemical castration would entail repeated injections which would involve monitoring.

Just castrate them. Job done.

Special courts are now going to happen, in England and Wales anyway.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5lympv9nw3jo

I agree and that's why I proposed chemical castration. Jurors would, I think, be much less squeamish and are of course only considering guilt, not sentencing.

The brain is strongly affected by hormones; both physical and chemical castration are similarly effective here, reducing testosterone levels by about 90%.

Castration doesn't entirely eliminate rape: some castrated men are still capable of erections, and of course sexual assault is possible with other objects. However, recidivism is much lower in castrated rapists (below 10%) compared to non-castrated ones (around 1 in 3).

In Abelard's case, his castration did appear to remove his sexual urges. He wrote that "completely it freed me from the heavy yoke of lust".

I think some of the mindset of "they didn't know better" as an excuse, is absolutely not okay. But I am very much in favour of early intervention and talking rhough what rape and sexual assault actually is far earlier and more openly than often happens.

I had a very upsetting experience in my early 20s. I typed up the whole story but it was too long but in effect, I was almost raped by a man I'd known for a long time and liked after I had found myself in a drunken snog with him.

The key thing is that afterwards, he knew. He wrote me a letter a few months later and bizarrely, many years later I ran into him in a pub in a completely different country. I saw him and froze. And he, understanding, didn't come anywhere near me, and quietly left.

He KNEW. But, in his stupid 21 year old mindset, he had thought that because I was kissing him and had agreed to come home with him, sex was basically guaranteed. I'd like to think this man learnt a lesson from that experience - I think, based on the way he behaved subsequently around me, that he did. But my point is that perhaps if we had better teaching and discussions, earlier, in those days, this wouldn't have happened in the first place. He wasn't a bad man. But he nearly did a very bad thing.

I was teaching DS about "consent" from when he was a toddler - he has always been taller and bigger than average and so no, at 2 he was not at risk of raping another child, but he absolutely was able to physically overpower other children and I was very firm with him from day 1 that he couldn't play that "fun" roughhousing game if the other children didn' tlike it and as we started talking about sex as he got older, part of that conversation has been discussing the importance of being 100% certain that the girl is a) keen b) capable of consenting.