Is there any future you'd accept for trans people?

[AYoungTransWoman]

Hello, I'm a young trans person who transitioned in my teens. I've been on hormones my entire adult life, have a GRC and will have Gender Reassignment Surgery imminently.

Is there any future you would accept for people like me who have gone through everything?

Why is a male person who is gender non-conforming less safe than other vulnerable male groups?

If there is genuinely a safety issue for any group of male people in male single sex spaces, why has the government and lobby groups not launched a massive and ongoing safety campaign? Because that would be very necessary for the entire male UK population to be safe.

We have many male people with transgender identities reporting that they do use male single sex spaces still. Who is to be believed here?

Why do you believe that the feelings and safety of men who want to be women are more important than the feelings and safety of biological women and girls?

Do you think a hyper feminine boy is safe in a men only space? Why don't you give a shit about feminine boys and men? Why don't you give a shit about other vulnerable boys and men?

What are you doing to make men only spaces safer for all men and boys, or are you just happy to tell women to budge up for a small section and job done?

There is no pushing, women aren't the ones doing any pushing
I expect everyone to use the single sex spaces for their sex, thats all.
Its kind of the point of single sex spaces

I don't think anyone would dispute that all people have the potential to be at risk in one way or another; however, it doesn't give males the right to female only spaces.

Presenting as female (which is a belief, not a scientific fact) and being an actual biological female are very different.

A 'third space' would be the ideal.

Where did I say that? 🙂

No, I asked the OP why they couldn't bring themself to use a male space. Because I was interested in what the OP had to say because they brought it up. I wasn't asking you to speak for them or to misrepresent me.

I wasn’t assigned female at birth I AM female, midwives don’t choose which sex to ‘assign’. Women aren’t support humans to men who have dysphoria, making us uncomfortable in our spaces in order to support them is not acceptable and we don’t want ANY men in our spaces.

If the OP, as a man, is scared of men in toilets, why can't women be scared of the OP, as a man, in toilets?

What makes you think trans people are at increased risk of MV?

The little data there is shows that they are at less risk than other demographics (at least for murder):

https://www.channel4.com/news/factcheck/factcheck-how-many-trans-people-murdered-uk

'The limited data we’re working with suggests that in the UK at least, the “trans murder rate” is lower than the UK average.'

Women, however, are very much at risk from MV.

I recommend therapy if this is what you are afraid of. There is nothing wrong with being a gender non-conforming male person.
I also recognise that while your feelings and fears may feel very real and overwhelming, this is a very privileged position to be in.
For women, when they talk about what they fear as women, it'd be domestic and sexual violence, losing jobs or sidelined at work when pregnant, losing reproductive autonomy, struggling to cope being the 'default' carer for children, elderly parents, disabled siblings etc.
The deepest fears of female people aren't that the sex marker on their ID is wrong.
To answer what I'd want for trans people's future: the same as everyone. I'd want them to have the right to be gender non-conforming without bringing discriminated, the right to work, live, be treated fairly. I'd want them to have evidence-based medical care. I'd not want anyone to be persuaded that their healthy body needs surgery because they don't fit gender stereotypes.
I'd want them to be happy and healthy and accept who they are without misogynistic and homophobic stereotypes being used to persuade them that's not good enough.

I am worried for you (despite a pp’s wise observation that mumsnetters are not everyone’s mum) because with genital surgery you’ll risk loss of sexual function and urinary incontinence, and these, especially the incontinence, which comes with needing to manage the smell, too, wouldn’t help you feel happier than you do now.

Have lots of counseling and don't have surgery. You will grow up soon and realise how silly you are. You cannot change your sex. Being trans is in fashion and many mature and regret being part of it.

Can you articulate what is so hateful about having a male body?

Are you making certain assumptions about what that means about you as a person?

Can you understand why male spaces being scary means that male people shouldn't trample over female ones?

I know I won't get a straight answer.

I'm so sorry you've been misled about what body parts "mean" and that you believe it so strongly you put your body at risk. I mean that genuinely and hope you become more accepting as you get older.

For women, when they talk about what they fear as women, it'd be domestic and sexual violence, losing jobs or sidelined at work when pregnant, losing reproductive autonomy, struggling to cope being the 'default' carer for children, elderly parents, disabled siblings etc.
The deepest fears of female people aren't that the sex marker on their ID is wrong.

Yep.

Being unhappy in childhood, and even more so in adolescence, is entirely usual and ordinary. Sad, but most people know that 'happiest days of your life' thing is completely untrue.

The cure for it is becoming an adult.

Be very wary of anyone trying to push you into surgery, mistrust those who told you to use hormones, realise that the lie told by your GRC could put your physical health in danger in a medical emergency, and know that you will not 'pass'.

Try just being an adult for a few years. The older you get the better life is (up to at least, according to some).

No one can change their sex, so i'm not sure what future people want by changing their outward appearance to be different from their sex and then expecting others to go along with lying? What sort of future is it for all involved?

I hope they have a future without suffering from mental illness, as I hope for all people and animals. Maybe in future there'll be better help for this type of mental illness that doesn't include dangerous surgeries and further illness and injury.

My darling person, please please please see some of the YouTube de-transitioners stories before you proceed. I beg you.

You can't expect the world to be bent and adapted to meet your emotional and mental health needs. That's not a reasonable adjustment. You can't expect other people to give up their rights to accommodate your wish to be what you are not. Trying to shore up a false reality that's dependent on other people playing along or shutting up and putting up is unreasonable.

Please show us the figures that back up your assertion that TIM’s are at greater risk when using men’s toilets? And also, greater risk of what exactly?

Is "mute" being used to mean "refute" here? I've not heard that usage before.

Women are scared of men every day of their lives from the moment they are aware they are a threat. Of course the majority of men are not a threat, but we don’t know how to tell. That goes for trans identified males too given that they offend at the same rate. That’s why we need our own spaces. I hope you channel your fear into action, and campaign for third spaces for yourself and others, as we fought for ours.

As others have said please reconsider the surgery. No sexual pleasure, no possibility of children in the future. That’s the best case scenario without complications.

You may feel you will never change your mind but you can’t know that for definite, better to leave options open rather than close them.

I assumed the pp meant 'moot', as in 'moot point'.

I think they mean "moot"

Probably mean moot