This is awful - the misogyny made my skin crawl

[changeforthebetternottheworse]

The Fail has surpassed itself in the misogyny stakes with this little gem:

The SHOCKING sex advice sought of leading Rabbi DR JONATHAN ROMAIN
mol.im/a/12350725

Not only does the somewhat creepy Dr Romain brand the au pair a nymphomaniac, he says that "we" decided the family was worth saving. So not only does this woman stay with a vile, cheating man who is such a lousy parent that he brings in an au pair to look after what are obviously teenagers at the least, all on the advice of a man.

And as for not telling the sons to "protect their fragile egos"? Fuck that! They sound just like chips off the father's block!

This is the absolute perverted ramblings of someone who should have been given a whiff of writing a column. It’s utter dross.

That au pair supposedly slept with the husband and all 3 teenage sons. Chinny reckon.

It's horrible. It seems to be an excerpt from this man's book.

What worries me is that if these stories are true, then, even though he's changed the names, the people he's writing about will recognise themselves. Imagine how that would feel for them.

Alternatively, he's made them up, in which case he has no business passing them off as true.

The fact that he is a religious leader makes it even worse.

@RoyalCorgi The fact it's a religious leader is depressingly unsurprising. And I agree, it sounds very possibly made up, which is even worse, as it's such an obvious condemnation of women.

He talks like the husband and sons were helpless in their decision, poor tempted men

The Rabbi sounds quite awful and may well have provided enough info there for friends of the family to recognise them. All men should have been sat down and told about the diary then sent off for sti checks. Husband should have been binned if he and 3 teenagers old enough to be sexually active couldn't keep the house running between themselves.

What the fuck have I just read? I despair.

He's my rabbi and I was appalled when I read the article earlier today. He usually has sound judgment but this is an error. Definitely. And for so many reasons.

He cited a case where a woman wanted a baby and her husband didn't. She got him drunk and seduced him, became pregnant and had a child. She's happy. No word about how her DP feels.

Now turn that around to a man doing the same thing to a woman so she becomes pregnant.

That article reads like he’s trying to set himself up for lucrative gigs on the after-dinner speaker circuit, targeted at audience comprised of males Of A Certain Age who find great hilarity in a sort of ribald anecdote version of a Whitehall comedy and bore their wives to death hilariously recounting these ‘risqué’ stories every time they meet up with other couples.

He's also a bloody dreadful writer.

But no, how unpleasant, misogynistic, sleazy & downright dodgy. I'm not religious, but if I were I'd be avoiding this sniggering fool & his leering gossip.

Im not sure what the Rabbi did wrong? The Rabbi didn’t get involved until after the mother had discovered the notebook and called him. Her husband decided to hire an au pair. Her husband and the sons and the au pair all decided to have sex. (I’m hoping the sons were all age of consent because the au pair could have been a sexual predator).

Anyway, what was the Rabbi supposed to do? He let the mother decide whether to stay or divorce her husband. She chose to stay. Obviously the au pair was sacked. He doesn’t say he advised her not to divorce…lots of women forgive infidelity and it’s pretty obvious that it wasn’t an emotional affair as the au pair was going about doing sexual conquests.

Anyway, what was the Rabbi supposed to do?

Errr, not write a newspaper column about the sex lives of his congregation. Not write a book about the sex lives of his congregation. And not get a sexual thrill from writing about the sex lives of his congregation.

But apparently the basic self restraint expected of any professional, let alone a religious leader, was quite beyond him.

How old were the sons? Either they were young and therefore vulnerable and frankly the au pair should be in a world of trouble. Or they were older in which case they should, as others have pointed out, have been perfectly capable of looking after a house between them. In fact id put the age at which your old enough to do housework well below the age at which your old enough to consent to sex with your housekeeper.
But also the whole thing sounds made up.

That’s a fair point but not one expressed by the OP. I thought the upset was over how he handled the situation.

If the only evidence that the au pair shagged the sons is a glimpse of the notebook, maybe she was writing down fantasy not reality. It all seems like nonsense anyway.

I got as far as the second man leaving the wife for her mother and thought this guy has been watching too much incest porn. The first woman sleeps with the sons and father, the second man sleeps with his mil. Definitely made up. Careful rabbi, your perversions are showing.

Yuk, it reads like the Letters From Nutz Readers magazine section. Degrading male fantasy.

I think the rabbi could have advised her and her husband that having a 20 year old au pair living in the house with three hormonal teenage boys might not be a great idea.

And that they could between them clean and cook.

I just realised I hadn't actually read the whole article - I'd been so horrified by the first scenario that I'd stopped reading! It gets worse, and as for delaying telling 79 year old Albert about his "conniving lover" so that he can enjoy a month of "lustful excess" on his cruise? It's all about the poor men's feelings and making sure they get their rocks off. It left me feeling disgusted, and as for the rabbi, he just made my skin crawl. To the previous poster who said he's her rabbi, how on earth can you take him seriously? He obviously despises women.

Sounds fake - basically Debbie does the Goldstein’s. Who gets an au pair for adult sons. Perv alert.

He could have advised them of that if he’d been aware of the husband hiring an au pair at the outset. As it was, he was oblivious until the mother found the notebook detailing that the au pair had slept with all three sons and the dad as that is when he got a phone call out the blue.

A man sleeping with mother and daughter isn’t incest.

He's actually a great rabbi. Deeply respectful of all. I just found this particular column in poor taste.

He was in the Sunday Times today writing about assisted dying. A much better - and more becoming - piece.