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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluffer (parody of The Gambler)

11 replies

CyclingSam · 21/07/2023 13:14

Some of us chronicle gendermentalness in post after devastating post; others of us pace in the front garden with Kenny Rogers on a loop in our brain, trying to write new lyrics as the plumber finishes installing new taps. (It's my process.)

Notes:

  • In striving to please both an American country music audience and a board of take-no-shit British feminists – the Venn diagram can scarcely be imagined – I have erred on the side of the poetically pleasing. You'll see what I'm talking about soon enough.
  • Whilst doing a quick google on John Money + "creep" I was directed to Wild Woman Writing Club (Google had spotted "On Mission Creep", a previous blog entry) and had occasion to lament "Say it ain't so Colin!" Fortunately that's not the great Mr Wright, aka SwipeWright.
  • SMIDSY is the cyclist's lament.
  • More liner notes here.

The Bluffer

Liner notes: https://www.notanothercyclingforum.net/index.php?topic=7208.msg17694#msg17694

https://youtu.be/zJcD06mUWB0

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 21/07/2023 19:19

God I love it. Although as one of my favourite songs it was hard singing the original lyrics whilst reading the new lyrics!

We need the lyrics and a just the tune version of the song so we can do karaoke!

CyclingSam · 21/07/2023 22:22

I did look for a simple tune version first, but couldn't find one. (Oh. There it is.) Then I came across the Muppets and thought yes, that'll work.

I use subtitles when watching just about everything, so didn't think too much about it, but agree that singing one thing whilst reading another is kind of a big ask. I guess my hope is that these two pieces kind of work in concert with each other, with the easy listening original helping mask some of the deficiencies in mine. It helps that the video starts with cheering!

You know people who have a face for radio? I have a voice for silent films. I've actually tried to get in touch with Mr Menno to see if he might be interested in a collaboration, but so far no luck.

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 22/07/2023 00:02

I have subtitles on all the time as well it makes life easier!

I do love the new lyrics they work very well! And the Muppets do fit rather well!

I shall have another listen in the morning. Can't beat a bit of Kenny!

CyclingSam · 23/07/2023 07:05
Herewith the lyrics. (Note that the video in my OP has what you'd call bonus material.)

On a warm summer's eve
On a train bound for Brighton
I met up with a wokester
We were both too tired to sleep
So we both kept on staring
At our phones, and at Twitter
Then outrage overtook us
And we began to tweet.

He typed "Trans women are women
They belong in women's spaces
From prison cells to bike* races
Hashtag NoDebate
You'd better use those pronouns
Or your face we'll be punching
You're on the wrong side of history
We don't need your advice."

It was all too much to swallow
And I have my share of bottle
Then I rolled my sleeves up
And got ready to fight
The night was deathly quiet
Just the sound of fingers tapping:
If you're gonna play this game boy,
You're gonna lose; I'll tell you why –

You surely know who's a woman
Know who is fakin'
These mistakes you're makin'
Are hurting everyone
You will forget John Money
When you want to bed a honey
You'll tune out their Crying Game
When you want some fun.

Now every human knows
That the secret to survival
Is half of us with small gametes
And half of us with big
Just don't be a tosser
If your hand seems like a loser
The best body is the one you have
You'll die with those genes.

He didn't take this kindly
But I'm almost out of time here
My logic it had crushed him
Still he tweeted on.
The truth is not transphobic
Reality's addictive
Take these final words with you:
They're bluffing, and they'll lose.

You surely know who's a woman
Know who is fakin'
These mistakes you're makin'
Are hurting everyone
You will forget John Money
When you want to bed an adult human female
You'll tune out their Crying Game
When you want some fun.

Refrain as needed.

*Alas clunky for even the most talented singer - it should just be "races". And the following line isn't a winner in that dept. either. This is one of those deficiencies I figure is covered up by Kenny's smooth voice.

I did try to make a karaoke version, just to see if I could. I can't, for technical reasons including that I'm more or less technically incompetent. The instrumental version I linked to in a previous post isn't actually pure tune, as a little over a minute in the refrain is sung. Whilst handy for synchronisation, fore and aft are like playing Pick-up Song from I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: fun, but exhausting. I'm afraid I gave up.

New lyrics for The Gambler

https://youtu.be/zJcD06mUWB0https://youtu.be/mKKYAIMeiKgBonus rabbit hole: https://youtu.be/7WiNOa3P4gk

https://youtu.be/mueZuHBjGsc

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 23/07/2023 07:47

Sam, the rest of Mumsnet don't realise what they are missing! Their loss!

Thank you for the written lyrics I've just had a sing along

The cat is looking at me with 'please for the love of mice be quiet' eyes, I'm not the best of singers!

(If you ever feel the urge to immortalise your version of the words in a book of poems written by the users of mumsnet, then let me know and you can join the ranks of those that re-worded the likes of Victoria Wood 's Lets Do It in vol 1)

CyclingSam · 23/07/2023 10:08

Immortalise away - thanks!

re: please for the love of mice be quiet

I get a lot of looks from Chompsky, too.

(Incidentally he has more subscribers on his channel than I do.)

Larkinesque

Chompsky ponders social media strategy: https://www.notanothercyclingforum.net/index.php?topic=1245.msg13043#msg13043Longer version of video: https://youtu.b...

https://youtu.be/7WiNOa3P4gk

OP posts:
Igmum · 23/07/2023 12:23

They're great thanks @CyclingSam. And yes please to a Mr Menno collaboration Grin

MrsOvertonsWindow · 23/07/2023 12:29

😂

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 23/07/2023 12:42

Oh, that's brilliant!

Boiledbeetle · 23/07/2023 20:16

Oh thank you for posting it on the Under the Duvet thread, you are a welcome addition to volume 2!

CyclingSam · 28/07/2023 09:41

AIBU to ask those of you on Twitter (I'm not about to start calling it X) if you might consider retweeting this?

https://twitter.com/jollygoodthen/status/1682621572375277568

And/or this, if you approve of its message that Nazis can be a force for good?*

https://twitter.com/jollygoodthen/status/1683085947125084161

*That would be my black humour showing.
Btw, it's already been to AIBU.

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