Would you consider this bisexuality or hetrosexuality?

[invisiblecats]

I do have a reason to be asking this, it isn't just naval gazing, honest!

I'll explain why in a bit, but first of all I'd like to ask, is it OK for me to call myself bisexual or is it being dishonest?

I'm in a relationship with the father of my children. All the relationships I've had have been with men.

However in the past I've (very happily!) had sex with a few women. Were I single although I'd be looking for a relationship with a man and not actively looking for one with a woman, I wouldn't totally rule out the idea of a relationship with a woman if the right one happened to come along.

If asked if my sexuality on forms I usually (but not always) say I'm straight, because feel it's unfair for me to claim to be bisexual when I'm living a hetrosexual life, I don't experience any of the discrimination that women living as a bisexual woman do. Also I'm conscious of a lot of straight people claiming to be "queer" for bullshit reasons and it must be really fucking annoying for LGB people to have to deal with this nonsense. I want to be respectful.

So, if I call myself bisexual, is that unfair? Or simply describing reality given I do actually really like having sex with women, even if I don't do it very often or have any intention to do so in the near future?

I wouldn't say that if it's in the hope you will be taken more seriously iyswim.

What is it about the policy you don't like?

@Harlequin1088

Yes that's absolutely fine to call yourself bisexual. I'm currently in a relationship with a man (and actually carrying his child as we speak!) but I've had sex with plenty of women in the past as well as men. It doesn't make me any less bisexual just because I happen to be in a relationship with a man. I don't think you need to have had an equal number of relationships with men and women to be truly bisexual. Hell, my poor Dad thinks that to be bisexual you need to have at least one boyfriend and one girlfriend at the same time at all times else you have to lump yourself in with the gays or the straights depending on who you're banging at the time 🙄

Your dad sounds hilarious Harlequin

@MintTeaLady

Thanks for this OP. It’s made me realise I have never considered filling in anything other than heterosexual on a form before, yet my circumstances are similar to yours. It’s made me reflect that I haven’t considered that having sex with a woman “counted” when it clearly does.

Yes me too. Maybe we are legion

The OP got copied into Twitter this morning for a bit of sneering by TRAs. It's fascinating to see how they must read Mumsnet all day!

Makes me chuckle. What are the women talking about eh?