Best responses for being asked for pronouns in person

[Seraphinite]

I’m going to a residential training course (not UK) and I suspect they will ask us for pronouns when we introduce ourselves on day one. (I’ve been to something with this organization before and have seen it)

What are some good responses I can give? Is saying ‘I prefer not to say’ best?

I don’t want to draw attention to it, be adversarial or open up discussion, I just don’t want to answer.

(For avoidance of doubt, I don’t buy in to gender ideology so that’s why I don’t want to answer. To me, stating my pronouns indicates I think it’s an ok question to ask in the first place )

"Is this about my genitals?"

But really, just ignore it, and if pressed "I prefer not to say" is probably your best bet.

Hahaha, love it! I’ll keep that in mind just in case 😆

Thanks

I'd probably just entirely ignore the preferred pronouns part and if pressed say something like, You can call me whatever you want or I don't have any preferred pronouns. I'd like to be more forthright/controversial but in that setting I wouldn't be.

I would just say, "I don't feel comfortable saying" and look a bit pained. If they push, remind them that not everyone is out at work.

I say "I don't mind"

Just say what your name is 🙄

Thanks. Last time I ignored it and wasn’t pressed however others who ignored it or forgot were asked, which is why I want my reply ready.
These are helpful.

I think regardless of what I said my face would give away my true reaction to that question.

I would give a very bland look and say they them.

But I mean who the fuck is supposed to be able to remember all this with a bunch of strangers. I have enough trouble with names and faces tbh.

“My pronouns? I or me. Oh, if you’re referring to me? In that case it’s totally at you discretion”

“No thanks, I don’t have any preference.”

“I’m female” (with an undertone of “I think you need to go to specsavers”)

You could always answer with “it’s extremely transphobic to insist on someone identifying their pronouns.”

I once read a brilliant answer on here
It was along the lines of '"I'm gender-free but please use the pronouns you feel most comfortable using for me. My sex is biologically female so if you want to use she and her, that's fine."

Oh... (long pause) are you really asking me to out myself?

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff it’s actually not a work thing, a course I’m doing for myself and not work-related.

Maybe my face/vibe will let them know not to push it!

"Personally I prefer to refer to myself as 'I', though most other people refer to me as 'you', so that will probably suffice."

Say your name. Nothing else.
Dont say you feel uncomfortable if asked. It makes it about you. Just say " you can use whatever pronoun you want it makes no difference"
World gone slightly xxxx
I hope the training is better than it sounds like it might be ... creating anxiety before it's even started
World has gone xxx

I'd just smile and say 'mm' and ignore. If pressed, 'no, thanks'.

My bland look would be the same as the pp tbh.!

The training will be great, it’s something I’m really interested in. The pronouns thing is the only aspect I’m not ok with.

I do like a lot of these responses but I don’t want my first interaction with a new group to be drawing attention to myself and my views. I suspect many of the attendees will be on board with gender ideology or will think it’s a harmless question.

You could also just say "second person singular, thanks!" with a breezy smile and leave them to admit they don't actually understand how pronouns work......

I think BaronessBomburst has the answer, that just about covers everything.

It really depends how confrontational you want to be. The best answer is "sex based - like my oppression", but that's almost guaranteed to start an argument.

The one time I've actually been asked I was really not in the mood. I said something along the lines of "It would be arrogant to choose the words others should use to describe me". This led to a long hush with a lot of people looking at the floor. I'm not sure it did any good, but it felt great.

A pp had it...I refer to myself as I and me and you can call me you/my name. Sorted!

I’m totally keeping these ideas up my sleeve for other occasions! Love ‘second person singular’ 😆

I’d probably look at them as though they were mad and give my pronouns in an ‘it’s obvious’ kind of way .

If they ask “what are your preferred pronouns?” I’d say “I have no preferences, thanks” and if they word it “would you like to share your preferred pronouns?” I’d just say “no thank you”.

There are lots of excellent smart answers but you have to interact with these people and get the most out of the course, so I’d keep it as neutral as possible without caving in to the ideology.