It is unacceptable for me to feel that I don’t like men?

[OliverBabish]

I got asked by my boss if I “hate men” - he’s not my boss anymore thankfully but my honest response is that I don’t like men very much. I’m not being an arse about it either - I’ve married a man, I’m aware there are ‘good men’ or whatever - that is truly how I feel.

Ignorant of me but I didn’t even know misandry was a thing (or that there was a word for it) until really recently.

Experience (and my job) has shown me time and time again that men are far more of a problem in our day to day society than women. I know I’d probably get into loads of trouble at work if I actually voiced that opinion, but generally speaking, is it that unacceptable for me to feel this way? Am I wrong to think like this? It doesn’t affect how I treat men, it’s just how I feel.

I'm finding some of the suggested responses to the man who referred to feminist crap and then asked OP if she hated men hilarious.

Seems clear that some on here have never actually been in position where a man has been like that/ asked that.

Oh just be polite.
Oh just say you don't like some behaviours

The blatant ignoring of the fact men who do this are UP FOR A ROW with a woman who has had the temerity to mention something related to women's rights in passing. And push and push until they get that row. Is sweetly and naively charming really.

I mean a bit suggestive that they don't really know what they're talking about but still it's really nice to assume that a few gentle words or a sensible answer will result in him engaging in a nice good faith conversation

@NiceGerbil

Sleeping the higher number of boys born coupled with the fact the infant mortality is higher is a thing.

I have read that when there are less of one sex in the community then more babies of that sex are born.

What the mechanisms are I don't know. It's not down to something women are doing in purpose and it's not down to nature being sentient.

Yes well I wasn't seriously suggesting nature was selectively neglecting men cos she thought they were shit, I was asking the pp for clarify on their statement

@OliverBabish

I actually did raise (not formally complain, just highlight it in a meeting I had) the fact that I had been asked if I hated men with my boss’ boss (who was a woman). She didn’t bat an eyelid. Men get away with all sorts in the workplace.

Female staff are not required to put up with any kind of shite while at work. I won't have it. If someone wants to act like a creep they can go elsewhere. A business has a duty to ensure staff are supported when it comes to harassment and discrimination, from customers or other staff.

I have worked in situations where certain clients had notes attached to their files for having to be dealt with by males only. (potentially violent towards females).

ChiefBabySniffer I am so sorry that hear about your experiences.

'Female staff are not required to put up with any kind of shite while at work. I won't have it. If someone wants to act like a creep they can go elsewhere. A business has a duty to ensure staff are supported when it comes to harassment and discrimination, from customers or other staff.'

Have you tried living in the real world at all?

I also like the little hint that women who experience this at work and don't somehow make it go away are doing it wrong.

Before Corona 54000 women in the UK lost their jobs because they were pregnant.

(Google)

What did they do wrong?

Oh and also.

I've had male work colleagues say stuff like the OP had.

Looking for a row.

Take it to HR? You're joking right?

Allthecarrot that would be a fair point if misogyny encoded in religion, law, social norms etc all over the world didn't result in. Well. All the things it does.

I am interested to know how all this midandry in the thoughts of some women is resulting in problems for men. And whether it really is equivalent to the result of misogyny in men (and lots of women as well). Around the world.

I also don't understand why it's fundamentally wrong for a person who has been treated badly by X type of person to think in their head, on the whole I don't like them.

I totally understand why a person that had had loads of awful stuff would feel like that. And surely it's better in general to try and stop the awfulness than say that person's internal thoughts are Wrong?

I just read the quote “Heterosexuality in women is proof that sexuality is NOT a choice” in response to the fuckery that’s happening in Australian politics atm. Seems applicable to this conversation... I don’t HATE men... I certainly don’t like them very much atm.

@justilou1

I just read the quote “Heterosexuality in women is proof that sexuality is NOT a choice” in response to the fuckery that’s happening in Australian politics atm. Seems applicable to this conversation... I don’t HATE men... I certainly don’t like them very much atm.

Agree with this! My dream when I’m an old lady is to live with another woman.

I have one or two friends who are with me on this pact

@NiceGerbil

'Female staff are not required to put up with any kind of shite while at work. I won't have it. If someone wants to act like a creep they can go elsewhere. A business has a duty to ensure staff are supported when it comes to harassment and discrimination, from customers or other staff.'

Have you tried living in the real world at all?

I also like the little hint that women who experience this at work and don't somehow make it go away are doing it wrong.

Tbf she says the business has a responsibility, I read the "I won't have it" as she doesn't tolerate it as a manager. It isn't their fault other managers do but she's absolutely right that businesses have a duty of care!

No. Most of them think they're God's gift.

The race comparison absolutely does work. It was mentioned multiple times early on in the thread that the statistics just show that men commit more violent crimes and rape. If you're going to use statistics to back up your argument, don't pivot when someone using that exact same reasoning to justify something you don't find so palatable.

Oh, and then don't cry about /muh socioeconomic pwoblems/. That's correlation-based, as is everything else in dogshiit sociology. You can't prove a causal relationship between the two, nor which way that relationship goes. Is it poverty that leads to crime and under-performance, or under-performance that leads to poverty.

I'm lucky to have married the most kind, thoughtful and caring man on the planet. However, men have caused me a great deal of trauma over the years. Father and brother both committed suicide. Past relationship the man was sulky and controlling. Other brother overly controlling. I've seen women and children in my own family patiently trying to cope with damaged and destructive men over the years and apart from my DH would be happy to leave them well alone now forever.

How would you feel if men told you I really don’t like women?

@NannyLondon1818

How would you feel if men told you I really don’t like women?

I think someone said earlier on that if men came out and said this it would not a surprise and would explain what many women already have experience.

My personal view is that it’s all a bit too generalised and sweeping. But totally not unacceptable nor unreasonable.

We are allowed to have any feelings we want - the important thing is how we act. Clearly voicing some beliefs is not allowed by law, but feeling and thinking is allowed

How would you feel if men told you I really don’t like women?

Plenty of men don't. That's a choice they make, that's a view they have. If they insist on being a twat about it people are going to avoid them and think they're a twat. If they act on that belief by harming one then they're going to run up against the law. But saying that they don't like women harms no one. People just existing with prejudices and less pure views than you doesn't harm you. Brain washing and thought crime isn't (yet) a thing, you don't have to force everyone you meet into either the 'right thinking person' or 'thought criminal' box. And beyond primary school, not everyone you meet has to be called 'your friend'.

The answer to a twat is a wide berth. Live and let live.

And frankly if you're emotionally unable to cope with the idea that a man says he doesn't like women.... that's your problem to look into and deal with.

I'm lesbian, I've met people who are homophobic (not many, but some in the family). My emotional wellbeing can't and doesn't depend on having everyone else's approval and never hearing anything from anyone that rejects me. If I did, I wouldn't be that mentally healthy really. I spend a lot of time trying to teach my child with Autism that if someone says or does something he sees as wrong, he does not have to correct them until he's convinced they're now fixed to a way he's comfortable with. Sometimes you walk away and let them be them and it's not your circus, not your monkeys.

People just existing with prejudices and less pure views than you doesn't harm you. Brain washing and thought crime isn't (yet) a thing, you don't have to force everyone you meet into either the 'right thinking person' or 'thought criminal' box. And beyond primary school, not everyone you meet has to be called 'your friend'

Hear hear. They're trying to sort this in Scotland, though.

I'm a lesbian and live a woman-centred life except for my work, which is in a male-dominated sector. I do meet some decent men who treat me as an equal and whose company I quite enjoy being in. They are thoughtful, respectful and free of macho bs. They worry about their daughters' futures and appreciate everything their wives experience as a result of being born female. But for every one of them, I'd say there are a dozen who aren't woman-safe or woman-friendly, even though many of them are in relationships with women.

I won't go quite as far as saying I don't like men, but I certainly don't like or want to have anything to do with the vast majority of men. And I think the decent men understand that and would probably prefer not to have to deal with the bastard men either.

They're trying to sort this in Scotland, though.

Can you hear me Major Tom? Can you hear me Major.....

bugger it. No. They're beyond reach. How sad.