It is unacceptable for me to feel that I don’t like men?

[OliverBabish]

I got asked by my boss if I “hate men” - he’s not my boss anymore thankfully but my honest response is that I don’t like men very much. I’m not being an arse about it either - I’ve married a man, I’m aware there are ‘good men’ or whatever - that is truly how I feel.

Ignorant of me but I didn’t even know misandry was a thing (or that there was a word for it) until really recently.

Experience (and my job) has shown me time and time again that men are far more of a problem in our day to day society than women. I know I’d probably get into loads of trouble at work if I actually voiced that opinion, but generally speaking, is it that unacceptable for me to feel this way? Am I wrong to think like this? It doesn’t affect how I treat men, it’s just how I feel.

I don't like men either, and I find this quite hard to reconcile with my conscience, because I have a son who I adore, and I'd cut off any man that said he "didn't like women" - it would be the biggest red flag ever to me, so I don't know why I hate sexism so much but am fine with Misandry.

@selflove

I don't like men either, and I find this quite hard to reconcile with my conscience, because I have a son who I adore, and I'd cut off any man that said he "didn't like women" - it would be the biggest red flag ever to me, so I don't know why I hate sexism so much but am fine with Misandry.

Why is not okay for a man to dislike women? As long as we are all respectful and civil to each other, what's the issue?

As Mindy said in Emily in Paris "they can't police your thoughts, Emily. I'm from China. They tried that".

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I dislike men very much but I wouldn't dream of telling anyone at work that because it's work and I act prpfessionally, they don't know anything about my social life, politics or religion either. I'd be asking why they are asking such a question.

I agree. Honestly if I was at the point where my boss asked if I hate men (assuming it's not completely out of the blue, but it doesn't sound like it is), I'd have to ask myself some serious questions about my behaviour at work. You're entitled to your feelings but they should never cross over into a professional environment in that way imo.

I don't like men as a class. I have some individual men who are in my family, but I would not share a home with a man. I find them boring and not of my tribe, which is women. I should say I'm a lesbian but I have some single heterosexual female friends who prefer the company of women too.

Not unreasonable to hate most men, given how you react and respond.

I think when 93% if violence is perpetrated by men and when so many women experience misogyny it's fine to hate men as a class.

Impressive honesty there, @FifteenToes. Refreshing.

Sigh

I hate men who ask "do you hate men?"

I’m with you OP. I don’t like me per se, the way they behave ans expect women to pick up the slack etc but have male friends who I like and a boyfriend who is lovely. However in general no I don’t like them. I just can’t say it out loud.

Being in the company of heterosexual couples is often an awful experience cos the woman all too often takes a conversational back seat, or gets talked over by her partner, or holds back, seems not fully present. As a lesbian used to mixing with mostly women, it's a tedious experience being around men/straight couples

Yanbu. Keep having these conversations with friends and then realising some of them have sons! Many of them are in agreement with me in spite of this.

There are many men I like on an individual basis. As a collective, they are a massive problem.

Be careful who you have these conversations with would be my advice.

You can not be wrong in how you feel.

Your feelings are your feelings

But maybe don’t broadcast it at work as it might be used against you somehow

I like men, I just couldn't eat a whole one.

I see what you mean about the roles being reversed but typically men dislike women in such a different way to women disliking men that you almost can’t compare it.

I don't hate men as a class. I have been lucky enough to work with some decent blokes and to have some very good male friends.

I don't like writing off entire groups of people anyway. Everyone is an individual.

Yeah as we can see from this thread when women don't like men they want to avoid them/could happily live in a woman's commune/not date them

When men don't like women they want to be around them ALL the time to assert their dominance/over power them/distress them

That's really quite fucking different

I feel the same, nine times out of ten I find my interactions with them at best boring or disappointing and at worst abusive.

I

I get on fine with most men socially and at work, but they have not impressed me much and the older I get the less inclined I am to excuse their behaviour. My personal relationships were pretty disastrous and I have been single for a long time now.

I do like some men but they are few and far between, and I wouldnt pick them out for company over other women.
I cant imagine being in the mood to put any effort into finding one to have a relationship with.

I can go a step up OP
When I was around 10 I was talking to my dad’s friend and he made an observation. He said I was a misanthropist. Not sure how he concluded that and I never thought anything of it
But, I really do dislike people. Not hate
I don’t have many friends, just 2 I consider friends. I avoid talking to people unless they talk to me including msgs and phone calls. I hate public areas, pubs, shops... just too many people (needless to say I’m quite happy in this pandemic)
There have been times I feel bad, especially for my DC as I don’t chat to mums so I don’t do play dates
But ironically I work in healthcare, have done for 18 years. I love looking after people, I connect more with the vulnerable. No idea if it’s linked to anything

They're only any good for shagging really. Warmer than a vibrator. I prefer the company of women, prefer working with women, and most definitely prefer living with women. There are some exceptions of course, but agree with pps - as I've got older (I'd say 40+) my eyes have been more opened to what selfish, entitled, sexist people so very very many men are. In my twenties I was all doe-eyed to most of them, regardless of their behaviour.

I am intrigued to know where does it go wrong. I teach primary age kids, and here, the boys and girls are equally lovely/pita's.

I was never doe eyed about boys

Growing up with 3 brothers spared me seeing boys as “all that”

@PrintempsAhoy

You can not be wrong in how you feel.

Your feelings are your feelings

But maybe don’t broadcast it at work as it might be used against you somehow

This - your feelings are your feelings but my own view is, no it's not acceptable.

I was thinking about this recently. As women we live with people who are, generally, bigger than us, stronger than us, quicker to anger than us, and are more violent than us. It is a huge leap of faith for women to trust men, and tbh it's surprising that so many of us manage to do just that.

I've just read a book (a long essay really) called I Hate Men by Pauline Harmange. It pretty much covers why misandry can, un fact, be a positive force. I can't recommend it highly enough. In its original French, a French government minister (or someone working in his department- I can't remember) tried to get it banned (withour having read it - he just didn't like the title). This propelled the book to fame. The translation is excellent.