Minutes of SNP task force sub- committee -11/03/21
Attendees Nicola Sturgeon - Chair (NS ); Humza Yousaf (HY); John Swinney (JS); Jeane Freeman (JF); Kate Forbes (KF); Shirley Anne Somerville (SAS)
NS -welcomed all attendees and expressed thanks for all their efforts over the last few months and acknowledged that it’s not been easy but we’re nearly there.
Meeting proceeded with each Head of Ministry providing an update:
Ministry of Love (HY) Gave an update of the successful completion of Phase 1 of operation ‘ZipIT'
Addressed concerns concerns raised by others that whilst there is still a vocal minority in the community intent of stirring up trouble, he was able to give assurance that plans are afoot to address this 'coz I have friends in the valley who can help get these Cissers put back in their box' sic
Planning for Phase 2 is progressing well, and this is looking to complete soon after the next election - all things going well
Ministry of Peace - NS gave an update of recent events and expressed how unfortunate it was she’d been forced to switch energy to the ‘FishD Affair’, but that seems to have been headed off for now and normal operations can continue. NS noted that thanks to 'our friends' over the pond, the team were looking to see if there was an opportunity to wage war on the royal institution as having two enemies may be useful for strategic operations.
Ministry of Plenty (KF) Extended thanks to JF for the success of the recent campaign ‘ How Scotland successfully defeated Covid by single handedly taking control for the vaccinator rollout’ - Despite concerns, it looks like most proles have swallowed this hook line and sinker. NS queried whether there were any lesson learned that could be shared as they may be useful to help resolve the ‘FishD affair’.
Ministry of Truth - (JS) Update on Project ‘Ignorance” Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) for this project are green and indicate the project will meet its objective to dumb down of education across academics institutions. Still a long way to go but all in control.
Committee approved the budget for the purchase of additional NicBots to support the History department as workload to support NS with her communications strategy has increased.
(The newly formed) Ministry of Magic - SAS gave an update on the ‘ObrustricoTruthum’ potion. Development seems to be going well and recent trials of this potion amongst the proles , seems to indicate a particular success amongst the younger demographics. It needs further development in order to make it more effective on the older generation specifically those who work in the ministries themselves, as it has had less success here.
AOB
HY wanted NS to extend special thanks to PH and JF - esteemed comrades in the Green Party - for their fantastic support on Wednesday to get the ‘Love’ bill passed - a commemorative EU flag will be sent to each and KF agreed to get the thank you cards organised
NS expressed regret that there’d been another defection to the cult of ‘shewho must not be named’ and whilst wishing Johann all the best asked the committee not to mention her name again
NS - closed the meeting with a reminder to everyone to keep up the good work, stay strong to the 'The ’Truth’ , stay vigilant against risk of contradicting yourself on record and don’t get distracted by events happening ‘over there’.
Meeting closed - 21:30
Distribution of meeting minutes - not to be disturbed to anyone outside this meeting and definitely not to left in bins behind the office