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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feeling disheartened

92 replies

EdinburghFeminist · 04/03/2021 10:51

Am I the only one just feeling really drained by all this constant having to fight for every tiny right to any single sex provisions and the ability to talk about women’s issues without being overrun by TRAs or just not being able to speak for fear of being called transphobic? The sudden influx of goady threads in the last couple of days really hasn’t helped but even with a lot of positive GC news stories recently it all feels a bit overwhelming and crap somehow.

OP posts:
zzizzer · 04/03/2021 14:04

But what keeps me going is that they'd have the smug satisfaction of thinking they had won.

They have not. They will not.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 04/03/2021 16:29

If a whole generation of young people genuinely think there's no such thing as biological sex I've wasted my career (biology teacher).

MistressoftheDarkSide · 04/03/2021 16:35

I've been trying to keep up and my brain feels like a pretzel.

Can't step away because I'm a woman and this issue is important to me and all women, but also am tempted to do so because the over-riding message in the current zeitgeist is that a woman's place is, as always, in the wrong.

If only Eve hadn't bitten that bloody apple......Hmm

Buffyj · 04/03/2021 16:42

I walked around Edinburgh yesterday and saw so many of the 'women won't wheesht' ribbons. Every time I saw one my heart swelled a little. It helped. There are lots of us out there xx

EdinburghFeminist · 04/03/2021 17:27

@Buffyj

I walked around Edinburgh yesterday and saw so many of the 'women won't wheesht' ribbons. Every time I saw one my heart swelled a little. It helped. There are lots of us out there xx
That’s great news Buffy! I haven’t been into town in a year now but I have painted some Women won’t wheesht stones to take in next time I can get there.
OP posts:
notyourhandmaid · 04/03/2021 18:41

It is exhausting. Flowers

EmpressWitchDoesntBurn · 04/03/2021 18:57

It may not feel like it but we’re getting there.

They got this far by ‘no debate’ and keeping everything very under the radar. The moment we started noticing & dragging it all out into the sunlight, that started to change.

Just think - 10 years ago there was no Fair Play for Women, no WPUK, no Transgender Trend, no Keep Prisons Single Sex, no Keira Bell landmark judgment...

We can do this. We are doing it. We’ll get there.

WarOnWomen · 04/03/2021 19:02

@ArabellaScott

No, you're not. Take heart. Have a Brew and a wee break from time to time. There are plenty of us to take up the slack. Smile

That has cheered me up no end. Such a lovely thing to say and men. HmmThanks

WarOnWomen · 04/03/2021 19:05

*mean. I mean mean. Stupid unfortunate autocorrect. AngryHmm

CheeryTreeBlossom · 04/03/2021 19:13

I had this discussion with DH the other day. He is seeing a constant push at his workplace towards stonewall guidance, has colleagues spitting about JKR etc. We spoke about the law change in the US and he said "do you think it will just get to a point where you're tired and the majority has decided this is the way it will be?"
And I thought, no, never. I will never accept the dismantling of women's rights and the erasure of our sex. I don't care what laws are passed it can't change reality. I will continue to talk about it, challenge my MP and support cases to effect change.

Having said that there was a point last year where I did have to take a step back. I was emailing my MP who was busy fence sitting and researching and finding horrific statistics on sexual assaults on women and girls in mixed spaces and it took a toll on me. I have a young daughter and I can't bear her that she'll grow up in that.

Take the time out, regather your strength so you are ready for the next fight.

MaudTheInvincible · 04/03/2021 19:53

That’s great news Buffy! I haven’t been into town in a year now but I have painted some Women won’t wheesht stones to take in next time I can get there.

Stones is a great idea, thank you Thanks

Mollyollydolly · 04/03/2021 20:02

Every time someone starts a silly thread I put an imaginary pound in an imaginary pot for Crowdfunders. Cheers me up no end. Just keep buggering on.

EmpressWitchDoesntBurn · 04/03/2021 20:25

Every time someone starts a silly thread I turn up the Vagina Anthem. m.youtube.com/watch?v=UPIRfivo4lo

PheasantPlucker1 · 04/03/2021 20:30

I agree, sometimes a break is needed! But the brilliant thing I have noticed about feminists is theres always someone ready to step in and take over, and they just keep getting more and more articulate and intelligent Grin

Daca · 04/03/2021 20:46

These childish attempts to disrupt political organising and debate are a sign of weakness. Don’t be disheartened. But it’s good to acknowledge your exhaustion.

ArabellaScott · 04/03/2021 20:54

@WarOnWomen

*mean. I mean mean. Stupid unfortunate autocorrect. AngryHmm
Don't worry, it hairpins to all of us.
Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 04/03/2021 21:04
Flowers I’m finding the bastard Hate Crime Bill has a near monopoly on my rage just now with the surprise silver lining that it’s made it easier to roll my eyes at the idiotic threads!

The shield wall is strong & deep; you can step back as you need to Flowers

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/03/2021 22:03

These childish attempts to disrupt political organising and debate are a sign of weakness

I agree. If it didn't matter what we said or did, we would be ignored.

WarOnWomen · 04/03/2021 22:26

Don't worry, it hairpins to all of us.

Grin Grin I'm going to bed happy.

LangClegsInSpace · 05/03/2021 01:19

@EmpressWitchDoesntBurn

It may not feel like it but we’re getting there.

They got this far by ‘no debate’ and keeping everything very under the radar. The moment we started noticing & dragging it all out into the sunlight, that started to change.

Just think - 10 years ago there was no Fair Play for Women, no WPUK, no Transgender Trend, no Keep Prisons Single Sex, no Keira Bell landmark judgment...

We can do this. We are doing it. We’ll get there.

So much this.

To paraphrase (That Bastard) Ghandi:

First they block and #NoDebate you
Then they laugh at you, discredit you, doxx you and destroy your reputation
Then they fight you and you crowdfund the fuck out of everything
Then you win

We're at the fighty bit now, hence all the court cases and hence everything feeling really quite hairy. But this means we're getting there, all that's needed now is sunlight, which the courts are providing because they are asking all the awkward questions and they can't be cancelled.

The fights in the courts are very civilised but alongside these was always going to come an amount of rage from people who don't want sunlight. People who mostly know in their heart of hearts that what they are doing is wrong but who want it anyway, either for personal advantage or general woman hatred, or because they have invested a huge amount of headspace in gender ideology and can see no easy way back.

It's the fights in the courts that matter now. That's where our rights will be secured and strengthened for a long time into the future. It really doesn't matter how outraged someone is on twitter or whether they come onto MN and express their outrage here. It's all just noise. Engage if you think it's useful and if you have the mental energy, otherwise don't - just leave them to work out their ragey feelings.

Hide unproductive threads and take time off whenever you need it.

This is a relay race, as it has been from the first wave of feminism. If you need time off then take it and be confident that other women will cheerfully take up your baton, whether that's for a few hours, days, weeks or longer. And when you're up for the fight again there will be a baton to grab from another woman who needs rest.

I've been engaged in this since about 2012 and I've just taken a whole year off because on top of coronarivus and a whole heap of personal and family stuff, it was actually driving me insane. I'm about ready to jump back in now and I will happily grab your baton.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 05/03/2021 01:20

I'm about ready to jump back in now and I will happily grab your baton.

Glad to hear this LangClegsInSpace Thanks

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 05/03/2021 01:26

That’s a fabulous post LangClegsInSpace Flowers

Wandawomble · 05/03/2021 01:36

@Evarish

Personally I'm more pre-occupied with ensuring children don't get arrested for playing sports, people who need (immediate) medical care don't get barred access due to definitions in law and ensuring others have access to work spaces and safety because most facilities simply can't be accessible to trans people while enforcing single sex exclusive spaces.

If you're exhausted discussing dressing rooms and toilets and being called transphobic, woo, wait until the day you're denied access to a medical facility you need in terms of life or death because they're by definitions of their own treatments not allowed to cover your care.

Yes! Do something it about it then! Campaign for third spaces and trans inclusive shelters! You deserve your own spaces!
Wandawomble · 05/03/2021 01:43

The baton is also being carried by some young girls... not every kid is captured yet. There’s hope. The Twitler Youth are already getting old. This next group of young kids will turn on them as swiftly as you can say “Climate Crisis.”

EmpressWitchDoesntBurn · 05/03/2021 02:06

@Ereshkigalangcleg

I'm about ready to jump back in now and I will happily grab your baton.

Glad to hear this LangClegsInSpace Thanks

Glad to hear this too, LangClegsInSpace. Welcome back xx