I simply cannot comprehend the whole gender debate

[Cornana]

As a lesbian, it doesn’t make sense. It seems like people- particularly on Twitter- have to do so much stretching and reaching to make their explanations fit in.

I am a lesbian because I like people with vaginas- women. This, to the masses, makes me a “genital fetishist”.

The woke definition is now, “any non-man attracted to a non-man.” But anyone can be a non-man if they ‘choose’ to be. Ie, a man- not even on oestrogen- can say “I’m a women” and all of a sudden they are part of the lesbian dating pool? By this logic, and self identification, labels such as lesbian literally have no meaning anymore. As anyone can be a ‘non-man’ or a ‘lesbian.’

I don’t know if it’s everything going on, but I’m feeling exhausted by all of it. I have no issue with trans people existing, I have trans friends. I use their pronouns, I try my best to respect them. My trans friends happily agree with me that this kind of language is ridiculous, yet slowly it is making it’s way into every area of my life that is LGBT.

It’s got me thinking- the LGB part can’t fit in with the trans narrative much longer surely? Maybe it once could, but you can’t keep rewriting labels and what ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’ mean. Even with all the re-labelling, and over-explaining they don’t make sense. They clash so clearly already.

I’m just tired of “messing up” in LGBT spaces because I said something considered transphobic, my language wasn’t inclusive enough or I have to put up with being told I just have a “genital preference which is nothing to do with being actually a lesbian.”

Sorry if this has been covered already, I’m fairly new to this area and it’s one of the only places online I won’t get torn apart.

if someone could tell me what is actually “transphobic.”

We are all waiting for this definition. Because it seems that to simply reframe the discussion to be around women and their rights and pointing out that sex still matters in many aspects of life, is phobic speak.

I did like how Ricky Gervais dealt with this recently.

However, no one has an answer that has consensus. And currently, with the meanings of words being adapted to whatever purpose a movement wants them to mean, I doubt there ever will be consensus.

if someone could tell me what is actually “transphobic.”

I've found a list of things that are transphobic. It says it's incomplete, so there may be other things as well. I haven't copied the list here because there are 122 items on it.

glinner.co.uk/full-list-of-transphobic-things/

why does it matter what sex someone is?

I mean that is just blatant homophobia right there.

Wokeness is so regressive.

Hi Cornana

As others have said welcome. And yes this has been covered before but it is really important that it keeps getting raised.

Being lesbian is being same sex attracted. Gender as a social construct is totally irrelevant! Men who claim to be women and then sexually harass lesbians who do not want to have any sort of relationship let alone a sexual one, are just male predators. They try to intimidate lesbians with name calling such as being transphobic. Unfortunately some young women have felt coerced which is really, really unaceptable.

But in case you didn't know a whole campaign has grown out of this, ie saying that being same sex attracted whether as a man or as a woman has nothing whatsoever to do with trans / gender identity.

Please google for LGB Alliance. They are on facebook, twitter and their own web site.

Some lesbians also felt strongly about this and formed a group called GetTheLOut!

And last year there was a march Lesbian Pride.

I was going to post links to some of the threads but keep getting an error message. Hope this is a temporary glitch and not some mumsnet ereasing of lesbians!

Have found this link about the Lesbian Strength March. Not saying you should read it all but just to show you are not alone! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3663822-Lesbian-Strength-March-and-Rally-in-Leeds-on-7-September-2019?noti=1#89262721

And this thread which I thin got a lot on mumsnet thinking about the impact on lesbians of the TWAW agenda.

Being a homosexual female in a community of queer people, transbians and penis-inclusionary lesbians www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3621239-Being-a-homosexual-female-in-a-community-of-queer-people-transbians-and-penis-inclusionary-lesbians?noti=1#88573083

Op it feels like “the masses” but there are a huge number of people who agree with you. And another even huger number who don’t care - yet - because they haven’t - yet - experienced their private spaces being invaded, or their right to express the truth of their biological existence trampled on. Sadly that number is diminishing but it will help the thin shout voices speaking up against this disastrous social policy.

why does it matter what sex someone is?

I mean that is just blatant homophobia right there.

It's simultaneously homophobic and heterophobic - presumably it could only be said seriously by someone bisexual who also had no capacity for understanding that other people's sexuality may differ from theirs.