A MODEST PROPOSAL
For preventing the darker skinned people in the land from experiencing racism, preventing racial tensions and preventing the resulting burden on society and creating great benefits to the publick.
by Whodathunkit
It is a melancholy object to those, who walk through this great town, or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the streets and houses crowded with mothers of swarthy appearance, followed by three, four, or six children, all displaying similar epidermal colouration, and causing great offence to all.
I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodigious number of children of darker hued skin is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom, a very great additional grievance; and therefore whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy method of helping these children to become useful members of the common-wealth, would deserve so well of the publick, as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation.
As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years, upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of our projectors, I have reached an important conclusion.
For too long darker skinned persons have had to struggle and fight agains oppression in a racist society, of this there is no doubt.
Many darker skinned people dream of being able to live in a wonderful world in which they share all the entitlements and privileges that heir fairer skinned neighbours take for granted.
Various products, many prohibitively expensive or illegal and thus beyond the acquisition of the general public, do possess the most wonderful effect of transforming the skin of our swarthy brothers and sisters into a most charming and agreeable pinkish shade.
There are, as always, many nay sayers who complain in the most vigorous terms that these products may generate the most harmful diseases and dangers in those who make use of them, however any educated person must of course balance these harms in relation to the undoubted benefits to society of purging this most odious problem of racism from our dear land.
What better solution to this urgent crisis of inequality than to make these wondrous skin lightening products available on the NHS to those persons whose natural coloration places them at a disadvantage in all aspects of their life?
Some commentators will no doubt opine that the wish to lighten one’s skin is indicative of some underlying problem of the mind, a problem they term “internalised racism” but this ridiculous claim may reasonably be challenged by speaking to any one of thousands of people, currently undergoing a journey of “racial transition” who will tell it how it is and “speak their truth” about their brave and stunning journey of transformation.
I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the publick good of my country, by advancing the progression of our citizens, creating equality and benefitting our land for the good of all.