I hope my sister doesn't turn into a man...

[FurrySlipperBoots]

because I've bought her a birthday card, from a section of the card shop clearly marked 'Male'.

Yep, it is blank inside.

www.tracksltd.com/shop/cards/art/art358

I was looking at some cards in a shop and remarked to my friend how depressing it was that birthday cards for men were either about a) beer b) garden sheds c) sport. I wondered how men felt about it. A nearby man said he hated it too, had no idea why they had to be so limited. I tend now to go for arty ones for anybody.

You picked a good one. Have no fear, it has no magic sex-changing powers.

If she does it will all be your fault op.
I was actually expecting a card much more stereotypically male, how on earth is that a man's card?!

Boats. Manly boats.

I've been a frequent user of Moonpig, but recently I've found it virtually impossible - despite them having hundreds of cards allegedly suitable - to find a card for a female friend's birthday that isn't making pathetic 'jokes' about alcohol and/or chocolate consumption.

Hang on, it’s mainly blue and there’s boats. Definitely for the boys. You’ll need to counteract it with a pink nipple tassel or similar.

Lovely card - but now I feel the need to pee standing up

Do shops categorise cards as being for men or women?

I never buy cards specifically for an identified relative and none of the shops I buy cards from have men or women's sections.

She's opened it, and seems to be sprouting a beard! Her voice is growing oddly deeper too... Any recommendations how to reverse her condition? I don't have anything pink and glittery in the house and it's Sunday so the shops will be shut!

Not directly relevant but I came across a card once where the verse read:
"My darling wife, I give you thanks
For all the love and joy
That you have brought me with the birth
Of our dear baby girl."

How hard could it have been to think of a female-friendly rhyme?

I usually buy cards in Paper Tiger. All of their birthday cards would suit a person depending on what that person is interested in.

www.papertiger.co.uk/collections/birthday-cards/

Any recommendations how to reverse her condition? I don't have anything pink and glittery in the house and it's Sunday so the shops will be shut!

Quick, give her a pile of dirty washing, a needle and thread, a duster! Anything that, you know, women are just naturally good at. Hopefully it'll trip start her femininity again.

@barelove

Well, I would have her cook tea tonight, but it's going to be a BBQ so we know she can't do that!

Can't your sister be in the kitchen this evening, preparing food etc? That seems to me to be the division of labour at BBQs - women in the kitchen, men outside ruining the meat so it's raw inside and charred outside, playing cavemen no doubt.

Maybe the Cinderella Syndrome will kick in at midnight and she'll turn back into a woman? Have fun at your barbie and hope the rain stays off.