anyone else been ditched by friends for having Gender critical views?

[JetCityWoman]

Long time user new account

just that really? I've been quite vocal of the importance of biology and a lot of my female friends have basically told me to fuck off. were talking 5+ year friendships all gone because I refuse to accept men can be women.

anyone else navigating this weird state of being?

there’s only been what, one transgender person murdered in England since 2009?

Just in the interests of you having relevant info:

fairplayforwomen.com/trans-murder-rates

The figure seems to average out at around 1 a year.

Do we know the figures for how many transwomen have committed murder in the UK per year?

(I know if you checked the figures for "violent crime, including serious sex crime" it would be higher.)

And the explanation that because people are more tolerant, therefore more kids are coming out doesn’t hold water.
Since it’s mostly girls, where are all the middle-aged women who are now unutterably relieved that they can finally be their true selves?

Before I joined MN, I thought I was a fairly ordinary, heterosexual middle-aged woman with the usual variety of hobbies and interests. I had a few relationships before getting married and having kids and am currently navigating the libido-sapping joys of peri-menopause (fans self and takes off cardi).

I have since learned that this means that I am in fact non-binary (or is it agender?), which also seems to make me trans, or queer, or both. I am also apparently demisexual and now greysexual too.

I never knew I was so special! Do I have to dye my greying hair blue so that everyone else will know?

And more importantly, was the grocer misgendering me when he called me Madam, despite the fact that I was wearing jeans and no makeup? Help, help, I'm being oppressed!

Albadross and a stiff to you

That's unbelievable. I am so sick of hearing about Susie Green get all this fawning behaviour. I can't even write what I think of her as it would get deleted and she doesn't deserve any mitigation of words

What's Peter Tachell got to do with it all. I though he was more LBT rights? Am I thinking of someone else.

Definitely queer AF.

Thanks Quentin

And "non binary" - is that just a woman or man who are originally just that? I.e: they haven't changed? (Forgive my ignorance)

Strictly speaking it would mean someone who is not 100% masculine and is not 100% feminine in all of their presentation, actions, and thoughts all of the time. In other words, all of us.

Trans rights activists will use it to mean anything that just happens to suit their arguments at any particular time.

Yes, as far as I know, non-binary means that a person does not identify with either men or women. In any way. And they feel it isolates them.

In practice, I’m not sure how that would work.

Eating, sleeping, running, watching TV, bathing, drinking. None of these are gendered pursuits.

Even if you take extreme stereotypical masculine or feminine behaviour, none of them are confined to men or women.

Using power tools, baking, sewing, smoking cigars, playing rugby. All of these are just pursuits. Anyone can do them.

Most people are a mixture. Or take zero notice if something is considered masculine or feminine.

So the ‘feeling’ that you don’t fit it a specific stereotype, is fairly normal.

But giving it an ‘identity label’? That’s different. Now it’s special. Everyone has to know about it, you need to talk about it and people need to respond to you in a way that makes you feel validated.

Nope

I think user is responding to the OP, not my description of non-binary.

As regards the dear departed Andrea Dworkin, what she actually said way back in 1974 in 'Woman Hating' as regards sex-change surgery as it was then known was:
"This is an emergency measure for an emergency condition. Two, by changing our premises about men and women, role-playing, and polarity, the social situation of transsexuals will be transformed, and transsexuals will be integrated into community, no longer persecuted and despised. Three, community built on androgynous identity will mean the end of transsexuality as we know it."
To me, on a quick skim, this is saying she wanted an end to gender roles, and hence transsexuals experiencing a gender role that contradicted their sex would no longer be a problem. Dysphoria might still remain, but then nowadays (gender) dysphoria is no longer seen by TRAs as a necessary part of a claim to a trans identity. The claim itself is enough....................

For some reason the issue suddenly implanted itself into my life. My daughter was suddenly a boy and wanted me to buy her breast binders (I declined). Then discovered my bf was somewhat into crossdressing, thankfully he is not one of the I wear knickers so therefore I'm a woman brigade. The pp who described her brother as autistic, bi and dressing up gives him a thrill was very on the mark.

I find all of these issues fascinating. Someone described being trans as the new emo for teenagers and I agree. I can't really discuss much with DD, I try to be sensitive but not reinforce the whole I'm a boy now thing. To my eye, the likelihood is that she is a gay female, she is only 14, so I'm hoping that just by sticking my head in the sand a bit, the whole trans thing will have worked itself out in a few years.

I'm quite glad that I had been exposed to the whole debate before this issue arose tbh. My sister disagrees with my gender critical views. Quite odd because we have generally similar views. She has certainly swallowed the tra kool aid

The messages are heartening ferntwist. It'll be hugely reassuring for those sending you private messages, and some others as well I'm sure, to read your posts. It has been for me on here to see how many women are aghast at all this. I think there are a fair few who are similar to those who've messaged you - they've seen some of the vitriol which gets aimed at any who question the TRA line and no-one would want to be on the end of that.

But giving it an ‘identity label’? That’s different. Now it’s special. Everyone has to know about it, you need to talk about it and people need to respond to you in a way that makes you feel validated.

Indeed. I also wonder if it's because of how gendered things are now, children especially are starting to feel there are certain traits they should have due to their sex, pursuits/subjects etc they should like, clothes they should wear and so on, so the actually completely normal feeling of not "identifying" with a particular gender is suddenly an indication you're "non binary" as you couldn't possible be a girl/boy without identifying with all the gender norms society has deemed acceptable for your sex.

My dd and I have agreed not to talk about it because we upset each other.

People who say they're non-binary remind me of those who say that they're very unusual (i.e. special) because they dream in colour. I'm pretty sure that everyone who has colour perception dreams in colour, and I'm pretty sure that virtually everyone is 'non-binary'.

Thanks for the clarification SomeDyke. I wonder if these student wankers would have dared try and no-platform Andrea Dworkin. If they even knew who she was, that is.

I’m certainly more sympathetic to those lesbian separatists of old than I used to be!

Just had a conversation with OH about it and he thinks the whole trans thing is insane and was really shocked to hear about the transing of children and the speakers corner incident and the attack at the anarchist bookfair.

I have been ditched but I’ve also started ditching. I’ve just unfriended a complete twat I know who ‘came out’ as non-binary recently. She dresses like a woman and in in a LTR with a man. And before that, she was married to a man. Her banging on about the howwible transphobia of the women leafleting the anarchist bookfair sent me over the edge.

It’s just a fucking nonsense and I’ve had enough. I don’t care if I lose friends anymore. I’ve had enough. I’ve truly reached peak trans now.

No, she doesn’t want it. She wants validation for being a really brave heterosexual woman