anyone else been ditched by friends for having Gender critical views?

[JetCityWoman]

Long time user new account

just that really? I've been quite vocal of the importance of biology and a lot of my female friends have basically told me to fuck off. were talking 5+ year friendships all gone because I refuse to accept men can be women.

anyone else navigating this weird state of being?

Argh, LemonJello. I think in that case, all you can do is - if it ever comes up again - be a bit at their colluding with homophobia.

Lemon

Argh, LemonJello. I think in that case, all you can do is - if it ever comes up again - be a bit  at their colluding with homophobia.

Yes. That's what I would do. I can't stand the nauseating self righteousness of trans allies.

Thank you

Hi I'm new round here have read a few things but am in the process of learning more about this issue.
Anyway I haven't read all the replies but certainly will do - however I just wanted to post, as I felt quite upset by my partner's reaction when I showed him the thread on here a few days ago about the trans woman who was joining an Aussie rules team and the massive risks that would pose to female opponents.

He just shut down the conversation and thought that this is not something which would be happening very often etc and this wasn't an issue...
Basically the impression I got was he thought I was being bigoted etc...

anyway I've then come accross this thread and realised that I am starting to form views about these issues and I also would not feel able to discuss these with others in real life.

I feel really upset that I don't feel able to further discuss this area with my partner, as I explore it myself in the process of forming my own views, particularly since we have always held the same views about politics, social issues etc and i think that's really important that we did (So I thought) hold the same standpoint. Ie that is really important in a relationship, it's not an issue if we differ on hobbies and interests etc but this stuff is the " big stuff" like your overall outlook on life and we need to be generally more or less aligned.

I'm aware people are in relationships with people who don't share the same views in these sorts of areas, however I've realised since being with my partner that this is very important to me.

Any advice? Do I keep reading stuff and keep forming my own views and just not bother discussing it with him. That doesn't feel right, I want to be able to discuss these issues with him but I currently don't feel I could start up another conversation.

Mind blown- at the moment my advice to you would be to step away and remain as ignorant as possible. Once you see it you can’t unsee it and now that I have, the world has taken on an Orwellian quality that affects the my job, my relationships with other people, my relationship to society as a whole.
Sorry I can’t be more positive or helpful

Thanks LemonJello that does sound very worrying.
I do worry i won't be able to avoid this though as I am naturally critical and don't just accept things on face value.
It really feels like it can be a curse at times!

It is a curse. I wish I could Pollyanna away all my fears and feelings of having my boundaries invaded by misogynistic males. But I can't. You can't put this genie back in the bottle.

That video linked earlier is a bit too sneery for me to share which is a shame because it beautifully demonstrates that many of these kids are pretty harmless, confused teenagers who need support and sensible guidance but there are also some nasty misogynists muscling their way in with the aim of intimidating everyone, especially women

RidiculousDiversion

Thank you so much for your post. It made me cry. It's such a relief to know that other people have DH's who aren't on board.

My DH is liberal, loves Corbyn, very vocal on gay rights, feminist, donates to food banks. Best things about him. He just will not engage with my concerns about the GRCs and changes to the law or how they'll effect women.

Recently I had cause to complain to our local hospital who are now allowing male partners to stay overnight on open wards. He was so supportive; triggering for SA victims, women feeling vulnerable post birth etc. I tried to point out the parallels but he doesn't see them. He called me hysterical.

We have three daughters and I'm terrified. He just keeps saying I'll be on the wrong side of history.

polarbear

You are not alone. Many men don’t get it.

And that is being noted.

anonymousebosh.blogspot.co.uk/2017/11/hello-boys.html?spref=fb&m=1

for anyone who's going through this with their partner.

I've known DH for over 3 decades, since we were both teenagers. We've been together for almost 20 years. I spent about 2 years with him believing I had somehow, inexplicably turned into a bigot because of this issue. It was awful having this huge important thing I simply couldn't talk to him about. If I tried, he'd say 'I don't want to fall out' and would get up and leave the room. I felt so hurt he could think so badly of me without ever really listening to what I was saying.

The turning point was the BBC documentary 'who knows best' about trans children. I said 'please can you just watch this and let me know what you think?' and he did and he suddenly started to get where I was coming from. And as so often happens, once he started to unpick a single thread of the narrative, rather a lot of it unravelled very quickly.

We still don't talk about it a lot, I think he thinks I'm a bit overinvested in the whole thing, but he does basically get the issues and no longer thinks I'm an arsehole. Which is nice

as long as they go hand in hand with beefed up protections for single sex services and sports.

Which needs to be broadcast far and wide. Because the cultural expectations have, even at the moment, far exceeded the law.