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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

What do you think of this? - Viral video.

16 replies

NiceCupOfTeaAndAPartyRing · 06/01/2015 16:48

Hello Smile

I saw this video a few days back and since then it's gotten pretty popular and is everywhere so I thought I'd see what the general consensus is on here.
I feel mostly positive about it, although I can't help feeling the non consensual 'caressing' bit is a bit weird... It's a great sentiment, but there's just something about the whole vid that leaves me feeling they could have done more with it?
But I don't know why?Confused

www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/young-boys-were-asked-slap-4921852

OP posts:
Original poster
NiceCupOfTeaAndAPartyRing · 06/01/2015 16:51

Can't get the link to work, sorry!! Here's YouTube if it's easier.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 06/01/2015 22:18

I saw that. It's good that they're saying no when told to do something wrong, but I didn't like the whole, "you can't hit girls" thing. What about you can't hit anyone? I would have felt happier about them saying, "She hasn't done anything! Why would I hit someone unprovoked?" (And if that sounds like I'm implying it's okay to hit someone if you are provoked, then I don't think that's okay, either.)

And there was the whole thing about "now caress her", "now kiss her" - being told to do it, rather than asking her - what she wanted didn't seem relevant, which as you say, doesn't teach them much about consent.

I didn't feel easy about it, either.

zinafaw · 07/01/2015 21:11

I think it's useless.

Do you really think the makers are going to put that girl in any risk? I certainly don't. It's either staged or heavily biased.

  • The boys are in front of a video camera which will bias their behaviour. Do you really think they would slap in front of a rolling camera?
  • I think the boys are actors reading from a script. If that isn't the case, they will at the least be very carefully cherry-picked.
  • The setup is just weird- "here's a stranger, slap her". What a ridiculous setting to put someone in. She's a complete stranger, the boys have zero motive for wanting to hurt her.
  • I was disturbed by the boys' responses when asked why they didn't hit. Only one gave a gender-neutral and religion-neutral response by simply saying he was against violence. One said "because Jesus says so" (that poor brainwashed child) but the rest said "because she's a girl/because she's pretty/because boys shouldn't hit girls". So what would happen if they were asked to slap a boy or a girl who wasn't pretty?

The only way this "experiment" would be of any use would be if the children were selected at random and the camera was hidden. Perhaps the children would be more likely to slap if they had some kind of motive (perhaps asking them to imagine she had done something really bad to them?). And we would need to see a video of girls being asked to slap a boy. But like I pointed out noone would put a child in a position of being hurt.

IMO the video is a complete setup to drive home the "boys shouldn't hit girls" message as if that is the correct response (which I disagree with, the correct response IMO is the gender-neutral religion-neutral one).

Original poster
NiceCupOfTeaAndAPartyRing · 07/01/2015 21:57

Thank you both, for putting my unease into words.

OP posts:
DadWasHere · 08/01/2015 02:13

Oh lord. As effective and natural as the 'A needed response' video that wanted to make the case to men that not molesting a vulnerable woman meant bringing her milk and cookies. This Slap Her video will be in line for a Peabody award.

Lovecat · 08/01/2015 22:19

Horrendous video, really quite disturbing when the guy behind the camera tells the boys to caress her. And no info about her, she's just presented to them like a piece of meat while they have to say what they think of her...

I know (gross generalisation alert) that women tend not to be represented very well in Italian Media but this is just awful.

And yes, anyone who expects the boys to just hit a random girl because the creepy guy tells them to is either a sociopath or has a very low opinion of boys/men...

A lot of my FB friends are posting this as 'heartwarming' - I pointed out what I felt to be wrong with it and a friend of a friend suggested I was in need of psychiatric help to impose such a 'horrible' meaning on it... Hmm

tegetega · 08/01/2015 22:57

The boys were brought up to be told "boys don't hit girls". Why don't you find that heartwarming?

Lovecat · 08/01/2015 23:32

People shouldn't hit people. Full stop. The actual video is creepy beyond words.

YonicSleighdriver · 08/01/2015 23:39

Gosh, the 'now caress her' is creepy and they all look really uncomfortable- like they think it's OK because they know they've all agreed to be there but it doesn't feel OK because they've never spoken to her or anything.

tegetega · 08/01/2015 23:48

"People shouldn't hit people"

What about a man who has been caught cheating? Would he deserve to be hit by the woman he cheated?

YonicSleighdriver · 08/01/2015 23:50

Nope.

And isn't it past your bedtime?

night night.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 08/01/2015 23:51

Yonic, this video was produced by a Neapolitan news agency, and has precisely nothing to do with feminism. I agree, it's creepy as fuck.

tegetega · 09/01/2015 00:10

The picture I uploaded is much bigger than that but mumsnet has shrank it. But you can read all responses on that freezepage link

This was a thread on this site discussing a DV incident where a woman set a man's genitilia on fire while he was sitting drunk on a sofa. He wasn't posing any risk to her, he was just sitting there.

As one poster responded;
"Screw being PC - I roffled into my keyboard while reading this..... "

tegetega · 09/01/2015 00:12

Another example- Tiger Woods was battered by his Swedish partner with a golf club after he allegedly cheated on her. She became a heroine in Sweden among feminists.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/01/2015 08:00

Ah, AIBU, that hotbed of feminist thought. And from only 7 1/2 years ago.

Actually, no one cares what you think about anything. You are not all men (as I'm sure you'd remind us) and I'm fairly sure I could find several hundred threads on your MRE fora which talk about harming women.

However, your opinion isn't worth the effort. And I am off to work. By the time I get back, I have no doubt you'll be banned again.

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