not sure what to title this but it's to do with ejaculation

[YuleingFanjo]

and in particular a man ejaculating on a woman's face. Sorry - I feel awful writing it down.

I was talking to a friend last night, she is much nore sexually adventurous than I am and she was saying that she thought it was part of normal sexual behaviour, that most men found it a turn on and most people she knew thought it was normal.

I argued that it was something that came from porn, was not what I would call normal and there was no equivilant sexual 'thing' for a woman to do to a man. She said that women can 'gush' (I have never done this, maybe I am abnormal) or piss or poo (!) which I pointed out was a totally different thing. But is it?

I was trying to discuss it with her and point out that her sexual encounters are out of the norm, definitely aren't encounters within a loving relationship, and that ejaculating in someones's face is surely more about disrespect than anything else?

or am I wrong. I just find it really horrible and if anyone asked me to let them do so I would show them the door.

Soory - I hope I don't sound like some hairy trucker trying to get off on the whole thing, and I am not asking for personal experiences (I would prefer not to read them thanks) but more to discuss if I am right about the power/porn/disrespect thing...

Thats an easy way out of this debate, though, isnt it, sonic? To close ranks with all the 'proper feminists' and shut out the opinions of other women who maybe, just maybe, have valid points to make?

There are so many areas where feminist analysis is desperately needed.
I'd like equal pay. I'd like not to feel under pressure to botox my face into oblivion. I'd like my daughter to have real choice about how she manages her career and her relationships and parenthood. I would desperately like for the girls I work with not to be used for sex by gangs of underage boys.

Analyse that.

I am a product of the Patriarchy in many ways, but don't tell me I am not allowed to enjoy sex unless it passes your 'acceptability to feminism 'test.

Good point, WidowWoman.

OP, has my husband been slowly socialised to submit to me sitting on his face?

widow - I'm pretty sure we know given it's within living memory for quite a lot of people, isn't it?

It's a generational thing as I understand it.

but yellow you said it's 'just a bit of jiz on the face'. (my italics)
That sounds very like 'there's nothing to discuss'.

Other people think differently - why not have an exchange of ideas about that, or anything really.

"The OP comes across as very judgemental of her friend's single lifestyle and the way in which she is conducting her sexual encounters. As long as she is having safe sex and is putting herself or anyone else at risk where is the problem."

aside from my attemt at a joke with the scrubbing out of 'yes I am' in my second post can you point out to me where I have been 'very judgemental of her friend's single lifestyle' please?

I wrote the following paragraph

"I argued that it was something that came from porn, was not what I would call normal and there was no equivilant sexual 'thing' for a woman to do to a man. She said that women can 'gush' (I have never done this, maybe I am abnormal) or piss or poo (!) which I pointed out was a totally different thing. But is it?

I was trying to discuss it with her and point out that her sexual encounters are out of the norm, definitely aren't encounters within a loving relationship, and that ejaculating in someones's face is surely more about disrespect than anything else?"

in which I was trying to explain that I had discussed with my friend her assertation that she believed it was normal in the context of her sexual encounters but htat it was out of the norm generally, my 'norm' being sex in a loving relationship. Perhaps I am wrong to think it's not the norm just because most people I know are having sex within loving relationships? Perhaps because most of my friends are married or in long term relationships and the single ones are not having sex with strangers they meet on the internet just to have sex with I just don't hear what other single people are doing?

Is it really the norm for single people to have lots of sex with strangers who they meet on the internet just to have sex with?

sorry if I am rambling but I was talking about her perception of normal compared to my own based upon both our experience and I would say her experiences are out of the norm.

Yeah ass to mouth is such a lovely, empowering thing to do.

There was a woman on here that tried it and she was unwell for 6 months. That's the reality of these sex acts.

I wonder if it was a man or a woman who thought up that scenario and the one described in the op. It most certainly has it roots in pornography. I can only see that acts like this serve the question of the most revolting degrading things to do to a woman's body, (making sure she smiles and looks like she is enjoying it)Not as some kind of joy of sex manual type education for lovers in a relationship.

jericho - you know what people have done and simply not talked about? How do you know when they have not talked about it?

yellowraincoat I haven't called you a misogynist anywhere. Stop clutching your pearls ;) It's not all about you.

I see this again and again and again. It's a real problem when feminists try to discuss a patriarchal standard that is effecting women as a group negatively. Like how it's expected of women to wear hobbling heels when we dress up, in some work places, etc.
Then individuals get real angry and take is that we are personally attacking their love of pretty shoe, which wasn't the intention.

I don't really understand this behaviour.

Well WHY do women enjoy it then?

It's not like having your clit tickeled, is it. So how is it a turn on?

No, it doesn't sound like "there's nothing to discuss". That's how you read it. If you feel I'm trying to silence you...I mean, sorry, but it is an internet forum, how exactly am I supposed to silence you?

Why not just say what's on your mind, instead of being convinced that you're being silenced? You're really really not.

"What I wonder is why do you only ask the question why it appeals to men, but are not concerned why women might be into the same thing?"

sorry - my phrasing/question must be off. I am indeed aslo asking why do women find it a turn on and what might have led them to discover that/believe that and so on.

But it's not expected of women to wear heels. The majority of women I see at work and on the streets are wearing flats.

How is jizz on a face affecting women as a group? Is it affecting women as a group?

People feel personally attacked in the same way you did when I said you were clutching your pearls. Because people use words like "degrading" and "disgusting", which makes me feel more degraded than the act itself does.

How is it a turn on? How is watching someone get undressed a turn on? How is having your thigh stroked a turn on? Why do some people find sitting on a balloon a turn on? It just is for some people.

Well, I guess, that question can only be answered by the women who do enjoy it. Maybe it's to do with being turned on by turning your partner on/seeing the effect you have on your partner?

Yellow - what did you mean then when you said 'it's just...' Do you mean something different to what everyone else means?

Likewise how can I impact on what you like to do in your sex life by analysing certain practises? ignore me, and carry on, if you feel aht I say is not relevant to you. It's probably relevant to someone.

Silencing, judging - it's all a matter of opinion

I do wonder, what's in it for me if I sit on my husban's face. If that is all I am doing I mean. Just sitting on his face wouldn't be enough of an act to turn me on - unless I am supposed to be turned on because he is turned on?

just musing.

For me personally I can't think of a time when it would ever occur to me 'ooo, now sitting on my DH's face, that would really turn me on' but each to their own.

I didn't say that you were trying to stop me doing anything, did I though SinicalSanta? Unlike others on this thread who have vocally expressed that they are being silenced.

A lot of women ejaculate. Would you guys see it as equally degrading if a woman ejaculated on a man's face?

The turn-on is in seeing your DH (or whichever random bloke it may be ;-) ) being turned on, in the same way that he may not find endless hours of wrist-aching fiddling with my bits such a turn on in itself, but it is my reaction to it which he enjoys.

you felt judged and degraded apparently yellow

"Why do some people find sitting on a balloon a turn on? It just is for some people.
"

ok, so now you have given me something to work on...

it wouldn't be a turn on for most people though, right? It's a niche market? So what I was trying to ask at the begining and in subsequent posts was ... my friend really believes that a man ejaculating on a woman's face is a normal every day thing which most people think is normal.

My reasoning was that it isn't and she may only think that because it's something she does with a particular kind of man in a particular kind of circumstance. My discussion with her was that it might only be normal to her because that is what she is used to but perhaps she is wrong to say that it is 'normal' sexual behaviour for most people.

Yes, I did. I don't see your point.

couple of things op - i think you are confusing love and sex and love and sexual behaviour. they are not the same thing. she can fuck as many people as she likes, im not sure there is any judgement needed for this point. you dont need to be in love to fuck.

secondly - ejaculation onto someone elses face imo is disrespectful and promoted by the porn industry as 'normal' sexual behaviour.

If you think that your friend fucking lots of people and allowing herslef to be IYO disrespected = lack of self esteme and general head fucked upness for her, then i think you need to stick with it and continue to be a good friend.

amen

"Well, I guess, that question can only be answered by the women who do enjoy it. Maybe it's to do with being turned on by turning your partner on/seeing the effect you have on your partner?"

see.. we cross posted.

I don't always believe that anyone should be doing things that don't turn them on just because they will turn their partner on... do you see what I mean?

i would think it degrading if a woman ejaculated on my face.