Anyone know a good empowering book I can give to dd 13

[singforsupper]

She's always been a follower not a leader, and because she's a nice kid and a bit of a peacemaker she has been taken advantage of by quite a few friends over the years. Started when she was about 5...

It's tough out there in the world of teenage girls, and she seems to have turned in on herself bit. I want her to recognise a good relationship (I don't have one with dp but that's another story), how to assert herself without being aggressive (the way she's heading).

But kids are horrific these days. One came in the other morning with her friend. Dd walked down the stairs and she laughed at what she was wearing! I made sure dd knew that was out of order, but they are all so insecure and don't seem to care about common decency.

I seem to remember Kim Cattrall did one for that age group that was very good. I can't remember the title though, sorry.

I think there's a book called something like I don't have ugly feet which is meant to be good, sorry can't be more specific but if you google you should find it. Also The Me Nobody Knew.

There's a wonderful book called Stargirl that's about non-conformity and being yourself; I'm not sure about the assertiveness but I think it's a really great book for pre-teen girls (and boys too).

There's a good book I got from Amazon for dd1. Hang on I'll have a search.

Not sure about Kim Catrall as a role model - could really confuse her if she starts watchin SATC and combing real homespun wiselady Kim for scary but sexy wild kim. Could end up with a serious identity crisis. I shall take a look anyway.

I gave her a Sandi Toksvik book called Girls are Best, it's one perspective but not a very practical one.

Ooo Kim's from Liverpool! Fancy that.

Looks good so far, only 4 and 5 stars on Amazon.

What about something completely left field but inspiring, depends on how mature she is, perhaps look to something other than "teenage fiction". When I was a bit older than her I read Testament of Youth by Vera Britten, autobiography about WW1. It truly changed my life.

'Comfort Herself' by Geraldine Kaye was one of my favourites at her age.

It's about a 13 year old mixed race girl , living in London, whose single mum suddenly dies and she finds herself living with her grandmother in a village in Ghana and running her own market stall!

She eventually decides to return to the UK for (mainly) feminist reasons.

The main character, Comfort, is very independent and clear headed but not annoyingly feisty. I'm planning on making ds read it when he's a bit older-as it's stayed with me all these years.

also, rereading your post about your dd's 'friends' one of the main themes is about learning to love yourself and not bothering if you don't fit in straight away.
I reread my old copy quite recently as you may be able to tell!

And Vera Brittain was Shirley Williams' mother - I always liked Shirley, might read it myself.

I so wish I had access to these books when I was 13. My world was full of boys books. Enid Blyton was about as feminist as it got.

She hates all that Stephanie Meyer Twilight stuff, mostly because it's badly written (lots and lots of unnecessary conversation).

I bought the Kim Cattrall book myself for dd at that age- I thought it was pretty good actually. It wasn't at all SATC-ish.

Thanks, yes I've just had a look at the reviews, Kim Catrall sounds very good, just the right thing for her. Apparently she says 'dating' should be called 'getting to know you'. Sounds perfect.

I went up to the Pit Of Despair that is dd's room to look for it, but no joy. I will keep looking tomorrow though and post it to you if I find it. I'll send you a PM if I do.

Thanks bitoffun.

I think it's a good idea to try and find a role model that she can relate to - if she has a hobby, is there someone from that world who has written a decent biography? I was always inspired by Martha Gelhorn, but I'm probably a bit out of date.

Stargirl was a good book :)

Link to the thread SGM suggests.

My ds2 (14) and I have enjoyed reading The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. It strikes a good balance between suspense and lots of positive advice for teenagers from as I perceived it a feminist point of view, especially the 2nd book 'Catching Fire'. The main character is female and you see the world through her eyes. We haven't read the final book 'Mockingjay' yet but I would recommend them so far. I think it's important that my dss as well as my dds read feminist literature.

Meant to post last night but got interrupted. I don't have any book suggestions for your DD but just wanted to say one of my dearest friends was very much like your DD by the sounds of it (she's had many problems partly as a result of her kind and sensitive personality) and I think would have had a much happier time of it in adolescence (and now) if her mum had been supportive so please, please just keep doing what you're doing and give yourself a pat on the back for being such a great mum.

That thread is brilliant! Thanks for linking it.

Can I add here my recommendations of Sandi Toksvig's "Girls are Best" (probably aimed at tweenagers, but still worth it) and Dorothy L Sayers' Harriet Vane books - especially "Gaudy Night".

I'd have though the Number 1 ladies' detective agency series might be good from about that age (with added "grown up book" confidence booster built in)

On the surface maybe a bit of a leftfield suggestion, but it's a nice gentle paced world and the relationshops between the main characters are all at centre stage.

Caitlin Moran. "How to be a Woman"

As long as you don't mind her reading swearing.

It starts with her 13th birthday, progresses through periods, leaving school, jobs and boyfriends and siblings and getting married and having babies.