I asked the dcs tonight what's more important

[ThePosieParker]

.....being kind, clever or kind.
Ds1 said kind
Ds2 said kind
Dd said pretty......oh dear.

I hope I'm not responsible for that. Now I do think she's lovely, but if she stays beautiful (although I'm prepared to accept I may be biased) will that always be the most important thing? Do I have any impact at all? Is a young woman destined to use it to achieve success in our society?

That's interesting.

I'm not sure how that works with a toddler! It comes very naturally to me to say "what a clever girl" about so many things. Which are in fact not feats at all.

I can't imagine it's a big deal for a toddler. Not much angst going on in a toddlers head I imagine apart from the wide variety of things they want to do and can't