Single women in society.

[poshsinglemum]

Do you think that single women in society are treated differently to married women or women in a relationship?

I certainly feel pressure to couple up (partly due to the fact that I enjoy a man's company and sex)

However I do get a lot of people telling me to go on dating websites and I get the''i'll find someone'' line unprompted.

Of course I have some understanding of how the patriarchy views single women but I wish to spark lively debate!

Just read another lovely article about single mums in the Telegraph. One reason why I think that single mums are particulary vilified is that it is almost an oxymoron. The word ''mother'' is supposed to denote a righteous, sacrificing, nurturing, wholesome being whereas single women are often portrayed as selfish, unlovable, free and promiscuous. the two words don't quite mix. Or am I overthinking things?

I think it depends on the age of the woman. Very young and very old women are expected to be single. Women of childbearing age are expected to be coupled up.

Society's perception of single women of between 18 and 35ish has changed considerably in the past 30 years.

You are right that single mothers are still vilified though.

I think that single mums are vilified as it lets men and the patriarchy off the hook. Ie; we can behave however we want, including avoiding responsibility and get away with it as we can blame the woman for being a slut/whore (insert derogatory insult of choice).

I just can't understand the blindness.
You have to tangle your logic up pretty well not to realise for every single mother there's a single father somewhere doing f-all.

It's time we started talking about deserting fathers - there are so many men who are utterly feeble about staying in touch with their kids when relationships break up, let alone bothering to share in the actual care/decision making. I've met quite a few men who haven't even PHONED their children for years and years.

I live in a place where men refer to maintenance as "cock tax"

Maybe just introduce one? :o

It would be like a premium because they are at higher risk of leaving a trail of children for someone else to bring up.

LOL at cock tax. Should we suggest it to Iain Duncan Smith?

poshsinglemum - 13:24:17

I could not agree more with this post

I second cock tax.

Yes, there is a lot of pressure on women to couple up despite the fact that women, on the whole, are actually happier when single, whereas men are happier when in a couple-relationship. The main reason for this is a very, very deep-rooted idea that each man is entitled to have a woman look after him, service him sexually, domestically and emotionally.

I recommend the book "Bachelor Girl" by Betsy Israel, about how single women have been treated differently to married women or women in a relationship.