I'm currently mid panic attack and turning here for support. I've recently received a working diagnosis of Endometriosis. Without going in to too much detail, since having children my periods have started to caused unbearable pain in and around various places of my body, not just the pelvic region. I am waiting on further investigation and am currently taking prescribed painkillers when needed. This has been going on for over 6 months and things are getting worse. The pain is awful, the painkillers do work but I still feel very sore, uncomfortable, bloated, and the fatigue is like nothing I've ever known in my life. Even with newborns and no sleep I never felt like this. For around 2 weeks out of the month I feel just unable to do anything normal. Some days just moving from room to room in the house feels like an almighty achievement. I feel incredibly frustrated and sad that this is apparently my new normal. I used to be such a fun, outdoors or soft play etc type mum. Now I feel like a misery. I keep getting pushed to go on the pill but there are many reasons why I don't want to. Personal experience on it in the past and sensitive family history. But I'm starting now to consider it anyway as I feel like my life has been taken away from me? I'm having a total breakdown tonight. I currently work bank and can pick up shifts as and when I wish which in a sense is good as it means I can work when I am well enough to but it also means that currently I am very out of pocket and struggling financially. Friends have mentioned to me about ESA and PIP. The problem with ESA is that I actually enjoy going to work. Also my husband works away at least a few days every week and he is pushing for my youngest (18 months) to be so full days, 5 days a week in nursery so that it takes the pressure off when I am unwell. He has been helping me with the children when I have been really bad but he has now run out of paid sick time and annual leave for the year. I really feel so upset as I see his logic but when I am well, I love having my baby at home with me, going to groups or on walks etc. I'm not ready for him to go for this amount of time. Also there's the cost to consider! I just feel incredibly upset and frustrated and I feel like I'm losing control of any choices and feel like I'm having things -my work, time with my kids- taken away from me. My mental health is so low at the moment. How does anyone with endometriosis and small children do it when they have a partner that works? I hate moaning about all this and hate to be self pitiful and I will pull my big girl pants on and sort myself out but right now this all feels very shit.