Irregular bleeding and cramps at 35 - perimenopause or something worse?

[Lohse]

I'm 35 and had my DS 3.5 years ago. For most of my life, I had heavy and painful periods but after DS, the pain completely stopped. For the first 9 months after having him, I had extremely heavy (but not painful) periods - lots of big clots - the bathroom looked like a murder scene every month.

I tried the contraceptive implant in my arm but ended up getting constant periods so took it out. Now, two YEARS since I last had any sort of hormonal contraception and my periods have never gone back to "normal" and have just got wonkier.

My periods are now extremely irregular - with my cycles being anywhere between 21 and 27 days. Sometimes I only bleed lightly for a few days and other times I bleed for 9 days.

I often bleed between periods - not quite spotting but like a light period. This is sometimes after sex but sometimes not caused by seemingly anything. I used to bleed after sex when I was younger but they said it was just a cervical erosion. I was under the impression this had healed on its own as it stopped happening for a long time, but maybe its back.

When I do have a period it often starts off light and brown, then gets heavier/lighter almost at random. It looks different too, more sort of bitty (sorry for TMI!).

I did have some blood tests a couple of months ago to check my female hormones, but some of the tests depended on what point of my menstrual cycle I was in. The reason I'd been to the GP was because of bleeding between periods, and I often don't know what's a 'real' period, so I gave them all the dates I'd bled. The GP rang and just said everything was fine.

I've booked to have a vaginal examination and swab this week and they said if it continues I can have a scan. I'm also having odd symptoms e.g. I often feel "flutters" that are almost identical to foetal movements. (I've taken pregnancy tests and I'm not pregnant) We have been sort of half-heartedly TTC recently but we're DTD very rarely because there's been a lot going on. I've taken multiple pregnancy tests over the last few months and no positives.

Sometimes I feel period-pain sorts of cramps even when its not my period. Definitely not excruciatingly painful but enough that it is uncomfortable. Today it was bad enough I had to sit down and I felt nauseous too.

I've had a lot of tiredness. My thyroid was raised last year but only subclinical so they wouldn't treat. The private test showed elevated antibodies but the NHS won't accept the private test and won't test antibodies until my thyroid gets higher. The most recent test showed my thyroid had completely returned to normal.

My sex drive disappeared completely when I had DS and has never returned. DH is great and it's not a relationship issue.

I am going to get the swabs and will ask for the scan too. I know I'm doing everything I can, but I'm also finding myself constantly worried and googling various cancers that it could be. Is it possible this could just be normal getting older/perimenopause? Thanks in advance for anything you can share.

I get the ‘flutters’ and I’m 55, so definitely not pregnant !
Yes, you need to push for the scan as you have unexplained bleeding. I was going to suggest the Mirena coil to hopefully stop your periods, but as you’re TTC there’s no point in that

Not everything is the perimenopause. Please get this checked out. I hope everything is ok for you!

Thank you both. I’ll definitely push for the scan and I’ll update when I’ve had my appointment

I would try and get a diagnosis; you need that first and foremost.

Heavy and painful periods are often due to endometriosis being present. Has anyone ever mentioned endometriosis to you?. And any pain that is cyclical in nature and or gets worse up to and including menses should be checked out to see if endo is present. However this is usually diagnosed via a keyhole surgery op called a laparoscopy; swabs and ultrasound scans won't detect it if it is there.

This is also a good non woo website on the thyroid gland

https://thyroiduk.org/

And the flutters you get may be linked to the thyroid gland too. Make them listen to you. You will need to be persistent in order to get answers.

My periods were always regular as clockwork but went 'wonky' (great way the describe it, OP) after having ds2 as age 35. Really heavy (4 pads in at times), really irregular and all over the place.

I was worried and eventually went to the GP but it took 4 visits before I got anywhere. Had an internal scan eventually. Finally saw a lovely GP who said no red flags here, classic peri-menopause. I had no idea these were the symptoms.

My mum was sadly no longer alive when this was all happening and had told me before she died that she was in her mid-50's when she had 'the change'. I didn't know anything about peri-menopause, I had never heard the word before someone told me it around that time.

I was then on the mini pill which stopped my periods. I am 54 now and decided to stop the pill in January 2025 as I didn't know whether I still had periods or not, turns out that I don't.

I also have a thyroid condition, diagnosed in my 20's, treated with radioactive iodine. I take synthetic thyroxine every day just to bring the level up a bit.

The only thing I can't relate to is the flutters; I don't remember having that.

Keep asserting yourself with the GP, OP. Good luck.

Obviously getting it checked out is the main thing, and it's great you're on that already.
But I just wanted to suggest doing basal body temperature as well. BBT is really useful for telling you more about your cycle and hormones.
If you are in fact ovulating most cycles it will confirm that for you, and also confirmed which bleeding is your real period. You will be able to work out when to get the blood tests at specific stages of your cycle (eg Day 21 tests should be done 7 days after ovulation, which BBT should confirm for you in enough time to get these booked on the correct day).
If you are not ovulating, BBT will tell you that too, and that is useful information for the GP to have.

You should have been treated for period issues long before this. It's not ok for any woman to go through problems and there are things they can do (no, you can't go back in time, but for any younger person reading, see your doctor if you have these problems-they should no longer say it's no big deal, or just get pregnant to sort it out, like they used to).
OP, you now need to see a gynae. There's lots it could be, and you deserve help.

Thank you! Nobody has ever mentioned endometriosis but I’ve heard of it and I did wonder when I was younger if I had it because of the pain.

However now my periods aren’t too painful anymore it made me wonder if maybe it was never actually that? I did mention it to the GP before and they just always either suggested hormonal contraceptive or painkillers. I will look into this more

Thank you. It’s reassuring to hear that you had similar and it ended up “just” being perimenopause. I’ll keep going back to the gp until they listen definitely as I want to be sure it’s nothing more serious and I feel it’s not normal to have these symptoms with no explanation. At least if they rule the other stuff out and it’s just perimenopause then I know what’s going on.

Thank you. I will look into BBT. I was actually looking recently at whether I should get those ovulation sticks that you pee on but I guess the BBT gives the same sort of info from the sounds of it.

Thank you and yes I completely agree and wish I’d pushed harder. I was always someone who would just listen to the GP so if they dismissed it I’d believe them and then not go back.

Then my son had a lot of issues that they missed / dismissed and it’s made me realise that you do need to be more persistent sometimes.

Check for fibroids. In fact check for ANY cysts.

35 is very young for peri. Are you up to date with your smears?

Yes I had one 18 months ago and all was fine although I did go down a Google rabbit hole about ovarian cancer which has worried me (and I know that googling your symptoms is never helpful but you know)

BBT is much better than ovulation sticks in your situation.

All the sticks do is tell you when your LH is high. This can happen to some women multiple times in one cycle and they still don't ovulate. It is also possible to get high LH right before your period which would be confusing for you if you are trying to use it to work out which bleed is your period!

BBT on the other hand tells you lots. If you are ovulating it will tell you which day (with a day's tolerance), tell you when your real period is, and tell you how long your luteal phase is. If you are not ovulating it will confirm that.

Unlikely to be peri. I had heavy/weird/random periods in my mid late 30s and had scans etc - nothing was found, the gynaecologist said it's likely related to pregnancy, previously being on the pill etc and was an imbalance of oestrogen. She recommended a mirena which sorted it right out.