What do you tell people if you’re having intimate surgery?

[PhoebeMcPeePee]

I’ve got a rectal prolapse (rectocele) requiring surgery and whilst I’m aware it’s just a body part, I’m not desperate to share so much detail with colleagues or casual friends and acquaintances. Those of you who have had any rectal or gynae related surgery, what do you tell people?

If I was asked, I’d just tell them the truth.

I have no filter and a tendency to overshare. I also like to keep things light hearted so I've said in the past that I'm going in for a foof lift.

I would hope people wouldn’t ask! If someone tells me they’re having surgery, I wouldn’t dream of asking what or where the surgery is. Likelihood is they’ll just say if it’s a knee replacement or something non-intimate. So if they just say ‘I’m having an operation’ and don’t offer any more detail, I won’t ask.

I’d just say it was a gynae surgery and leave it like at that . If anyone is rude enough to ask further they deserve a hard stare ,

I’d just say surgery but I’d take great delight in telling people if they were nosy enough to ask. We’ve all got rectums. Nothing to be ashamed of. Hope it goes well.

I had a hemmorroidectomy in the summer.

Everyone who wasn't on my list of people who I was happy to discuss it with (but needed to know something ie my boss) was told it was colorectal surgery and I expected a long, slow, painful recovery and I'd be back when I was ready. I didn't offer any more info. And no one pressed for more info.

Good luck with the op.

I had surgery and had a stoma for a while - I've told some colleagues that were interested exactly what I had done. Others just knew it was abdominal surgery.

I’d say ‘surgery’ to strangers and ‘gynae surgery’ to friends and wouldn’t expect anyone apart from my mum, husband and best friend to ask for further details.

Id just say surgery and if asked further say it was a women's issue. That usually shuts people up. I know men have a rectum, but prolapse surgery is often due to complications of childbirth, so I think women's issue covers it

Everyone I know is in Healthcare. It's totally normal for us to share everything, usually in graphic detail.

I would say gyne surgery and not offer any more info..

Just say a prolapse. I had that the colon bulging into the vagina? And had a repair, no one really asked any more details. Most people don't want to know the gory details. The good news is it's been absolutely fine since and so worth getting done. Everyone sort of knows that prolapses happen, but the different types only become important if you have one!

DH had colon surgery and we just said surgery due to ongoing digestive issues.

I've had exactly the same operation and I just told everyone it was for a hernia.

Strangers - surgery
Men - gynae surgery
Women - prolapse repair or gynae surgery if I didn't want any follow up questions. On the whole I talked about it to other women a lot though.

Bowel surgery

I would tell people the truth if they ask because whilst I’m quite a private person, I have zero embarrassment about any bodily issue/function.

If you don’t want to do this then either make something up or go with gynae operation. Hope all goes well.

likewise. see conversation with my colleague this morning 🩸 💉 🪡

Some good suggestions above, OP.

Just to make you laugh - a colleague of mine announced she was having a similar surgery on a teams call... With 120 members of staff on it! I have also been on a call where colleagues were openly comparing appendix scars 🤣

How about 'I'm having surgery - nothing serious.'

Thanks all - appreciate I’m being daft about it but it has been bothering me. Surgery/ gynae surgery / prolapse depending on relationship feels like a good rule of thumb for me.

I told everyone who asked that I was having colon surgery but that's because it was due to bowel cancer which was only detected after me doing a routine screening test so I've been quite evangelical about encouraging people who receive the kits to do them and send them back.

I just had surgery for stress incontinence and used the above formula:
Strangers: surgery
Male boss: abdominal surgery
Friends: gynae surgery
Really close friends: bit more info

But basically it's your body and you don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want them to know. A couple of nosy parkers asked what I'm having done but I just said 'some gynae issues that were non-serious but needed fixing' and will let them assume it's an ovarian cyst or something!

What I will say though, is that a friend had prolapse surgery last year and was open about it. When my prolapse got worse I panicked and she was the first person I called because I knew she would understand. So if you do feel able to tell close friends, you may well be doing them a favour. Prolapses are SO much more common than we think but no-one talks about it.