Could anyone help me remember this poem

[marthasmum]

Apologies if this is not the right place for this thread, but I thought book lovers might be able to help. I am trying to find, and re-read a poem about grief. I read it in a poetry anthology as a student in the UK in the 1990s, but I can’t remember the name of the anthology, the name of the poem or the poet! It was very short and I think written by a woman, and possibly had been translated into English. It’s about someone awake and grieving on a windy night. The lines I can remember are something like ‘I think I heard the same restless susurration on the night she died. Nothing to do but wait, stare at the eiderdown, light another cigarette’.

I read it when some friends had died and I would like to re-read it now having just lost my mum. I’ve tried to google/ search in AI many times and nothing comes up. Is this ringing any bells for anyone? I’d be most grateful if anyone can help.

We'd love to help you resolve this so wanted to reply. We've done a search too but haven't pinned it down as yet..

Hoping someone else will come along and be able to name the poet or poem for you - it sounds good!

A Windy Night by Patricia Beer?

Was it by a Scandinavian poet - someone like Tove Ditlevsen perhaps?

I hope you find it, OP.

I'd love to know too.

Not the same but poems and collections on grief that I love include

Louis MacNeice, The Sunlight on the Garden
Douglas Dunn, Elegies
Seamus Heaney, several early collections I think
Brian Patten, Let Me Die a Youngman's Death (he started his poetry career while a school kid, and left school to take a job at 16, he died not that long ago at 79)
Jackie Kay has recently written a collection Mayday for her late mum and dad, which I bought with a couple of other books as part of spending a £30 booktoken on things that are better in print than on Kindle and she wrote a lovely memorial poem for a friend gone too soon about 20 years ago but I'd have to search for it.

Thank you so much for your suggestions! I can’t find the pork suggested by Patricia Beer at the moment but the tone is right, as it what I can find of Tove Ditlevson. Just watching film now with my kids but will look further at the suggestions given. I’ll come back and let you know if any are right! Thank you again.

oops poem not pork!

😆

I have located the Patricia Beer poem but it doesn’t look like the right one
www.berrynarbor-news.co.uk/editions?edition=86&article=7

On googling apparently it is in
<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?opi=89978449&q=fullreads.com/literature/the-death-of-halpin-frayser/&sa=U&sqi=2&ved=2ahUKEwiI6faB8sGXAxVj9LsIHXMlBXUQFnoECFMQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3NhPfLLOUT-zPuMgA13KHy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Death of Halpin Frayser by Ambrose Bierce
Its a short story, I haven’t read it myself

I Presume you are grieving, so sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss.

The poem is untitled, usually called 'The trees are rustling outside the open window' (which is the first line), it's by Sophie Behrens. You remembered it extremely well after thirty years.

The trees are rustling outside the open window.
I think I heard the same restless susurration
on the night she died, but I can’t be sure.
There’s nothing to do but light a cigarette
and stare at the eiderdown.

The anthology was probably The New British poetry 1968-1988.

Sophie was a somewhat tragic figure herself, she died by suicide in 1985, aged 26. Sophie's twin sister Kate is also a poet.

gosh, this is impressive ! now resolved to research Sophie Behrens, thanks!
and Kate too of course

OP I hope this reclaimed poem eases the pain of losing your Mum and brings
you some comfort

That is so kind. Thank you so much to Waawo and everyone who has responded. I really appreciate your kind wishes and thank you so much for locating the poem. I think you’re right about the anthology - I’m sure I used to have a copy of that and got rid of it at some point. And as it’s so short and untitled, that makes sense as to why I’ve not been able to find it on googling.

I think I was hoping though that it would have been longer than I remembered. But I will certainly look at Sophie Behren’s work - she does indeed have a sad history herself. Thanks again everyone xxx

Just to share, I went looking for Sophie’s work. Not found any online yet but this came up as her sister Kate Behrens’ work is linked here. The first poem is a lovely find and made me think of my mum.

https://thehighwindowpress.com/2026/05/19/poetry-summer2026/