Light-hearted rant

[PudgyPal]

I'm NC for this because I need to rant.

It's almost 4 a.m. and I'm absolutely starving. I've managed to stay out of the kitchen and have a black Lady Grey. It's boring, it tastes like soil and I'm still starving.

I'm doing a meal replacement plan and so, when I allow myself to eat at 6 a.m., I will still be starving with three more 'meal packs' to last the day which means I'll still be starving until I start this all over again tomorrow.

I'm 5'3" and 72kg. My goal weight is 48kg, or thereabouts, so have a long way to go.

I'm sick of losing weight, since I've been doing this my whole life, so just want to use this plan and get to a maintenance I'm happy staying at instead of dragging this shit out for another 20 years.

Often I wonder at my age, of approximately but not yet or older than 50, what is the point of is being thin? When do I stop trying to chase the body of a 25 year old and enjoy making it up to this point without every day being a fight to fit in clothes that are nice but doesn't change my age?

I'm losing weight for health but I have no health problems. I'm trying to prevent them, due to seeing what obesity does when one is older, but these obese people are walking around pretty happy and eating what they want to on the way!

I'm not trying to offend, or have anyone pity me. I'm just rambling on a dark, lonely night when all I want to do is not be awake and hungry.

I thought the heat would make my appetite go down but it's gotten ravenous!

Oh you're really early on in the diet, it does get much easier I promise! I've done a month and lost a stone so far, and that's with 2 days off when I had a night away to see a band last week.

Good luck, you can do this :)

Wow @PudgyPal it sounds very hard, but it will be interesting to know if the trainer’s plan works, hopefully ketosis kicks in soon and it becomes a bit easier

Today has been tough!! Being awake for so long, and already being hungry before the day started, proved to result in failure as far as compliance.

I had 200g Greek yoghurt and 10g of pecans, skimmed milk and 5g of chocolate, along with my packs, and my calories shot up to 1200 which is near enough maintenance as I'm quite sedentary at the minute.

So, I guess try again tomorrow?

UGH!

I get doing it for health, but wouldn't worry about it for looks-without spending tons of time/money (or being lucky) no one will look 25 when much older. Just enjoy your life! 48kg seems low-my superfit gym instructor who is quite a bit shorter than you is 50 something kg.

Fair enough! I may have made a conversion error! I'm basically trying to be around 20 on the BMI scale and increase to around 22-23 through muscle and going back to a normal diet. After a few years of training, I won't care about BMI, even if I go back into overweight but, until then, using it as a rough guide for fat loss with the intention of almost immediately gaining at least half a stone back when transitioning off the diet.

I was defeated by the lovely feel of cold on my belly via ice cream. 2 pints yesterday!!! I hate this heat and I hate my lack of willpower! I hate that I love ice cream! haha but not funny ............