To everybody: Thank you for being wonderfully supportive and lovely, I feel so much better. Big hugs all round.
I'm on my last 2.5 tomorrow and then starting 5 the following week. I'm hoping those that go to 5 this week do so painlessly with no side effects.
As a cat person it pleases me greatly to see so many kitty usernames in the thread! @myscaredcat obviously now known as henchcat and then @friendlycat And @c4tintherug!
So I was thinking about negative self talk and what life would be like if I spoke to myself like I speak to my cats. 100% nicer I reckon. I have a lot of cats (don't ask me how many) (wait it's not that bad) (am I making it better or worse?) Some of the things I say on a daily basis:
You're so pretty and fluffy, you must have got up very early this morning
Who's a good boy/girl, aren't you good
Ooh dass a biiiiig stretch
You're my favourite, don't tell the others
You smell lovely!
Aren't you wonderful, yes you are
That was a lovely nose bunt, thank you
Please don't bite my nose
You're going to sit on me for a wash and then use my bladder as a springboard, aren't you?
Who's a good boy, are we eating alfresco this evening, very good sir
Please don't fall asleep on my face
I love you, yes I do, little sleepy kitty. Yes purr purr I know, right back atcha.
I mean, some of those would be sliiiightly problematic but the general theme is being overjoyed that they exist at all. I wonder what it would be like to direct that inward. Like an internal sunbeam!
Does this make sense or have I finally lost the plot? My inner narrative can be so critical and unforgiving and I really need to work on it alongside the other changes. Be loving and forgiving, acknowledge my own pretty and fluffy self, praise myself for my nose bunts. It's getting away from me.