Family dynamics planning a wedding

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Dsd getting married. Already I am dreading the run up. MOTB has a history of stretching the truth when it comes to finances (and many other things, but that’s a whole new thread). DH and I have already discussed with DSD what our financial contribution is, which is very generous. MOTB has been in contact, saying she can only pay for the dress (which is fine and I think it’s lovely she wants to do this), has asked what our contribution is and if she can say that the money is from mum and dad, not dad and I. I am like absolutely not!! MOTB has also started calling DH saying that DSD will need this that and the other, and my view is if DSD needs something, the request should come from her.
DSD has also started to ask for my thoughts on some elements of the day, which I am more than happy to give and support her with, but dreading navigating all of this with the MOTB, as basically I don’t believe any word that comes out of her mouth, know that’s she will tell tales to others about us and tbh I don’t want to have to deal with her, but neither do I want to not support the dsd.
anyone been through similar?

God that’s difficult, you have my every sympathy. Maybe have a coffee and chat with the bride one one one and say while you’d love to help yo7 don’t want to step on her mother’s toes as it’s a special time for them both. And just be understanding that she ( the bride) is probably going to get in an awkward spot at some point. Even weddings in families with the best relationships get a bit fraught.

Tell your husband you don't need to know about his exes whingeing phone calls and weird requests, he can deal with her.
If you have her number, archive and mute her messages.

Getting involved in someone else's made up dramas is completely optional.

I speak as the daughter of a woman who is a complete nightmare, who was in her element in the run up to my wedding.

Oh lots going on, i don't know why your husband is in touch with his ex so much their daughter is an adult this shouldn't need this much input between parents,

you give her the money and let her pay for things why do others need to know what the "contribution" is who needs to know ?
I think you can support her but ultimately it is her and her partners wedding you can definitely avoid confrontation with mum for their surely ?

I have no desire for any confrontation, I just know what I’m going to come up against! Any unpleasantness won’t originate this side for sure - I just want the best day for DSD.

I appreciate that but if her mum has form for causing drama, then i think your husband needs to not be in contact over every decision, it might calm waters a bit.

I think you need to be guided by your stepdaughter and fiance she will be trying to navigate divorced parents,

I wonder if DSD genuinely wants to know your opinion because she finds her mum difficult to communicate with and appreciates the opportunity calmly and reasonably to discuss things with you. So I would support DSD as much as possible but just mention that her mum would listen more if she wouldn’t know that it’s your idea.