Wedding invitation wording - what's correct please?

[Weddingquestions]

Hi everyone, just wanted to ask those who are good at grammar/etiquette...

Can you say 'X and X would love you to join us to celebrate our marriage' or is it 'join us as we celebrate our marriage' or 'join us to celebrate our wedding'?

I read somewhere that it is not correct to say 'celebrate our marriage'.

It's a church ceremony then reception. Traditional but not super fancy. I didn't want to go with 'honour of your presence' as sounds too formal.

Any help appreciated! Thank you

I'd say celebrate our wedding.

Or join us on our wedding day.

X and X would like to join your to celebrate their wedding

Or

you are invited to celebrate the marriage of X and X

"Fred and Ginger invite you to their wedding"
Then the details.
Don't change it from 3rd person to 1st person half way through.

X and y

Request the pleasure of your company

At their marriage

On

Saturday xth month 2024

At 2pm

At St Mary's and St Benedict
Address

And afterwards at blah venue

RSVP

Write whatever you want just don't include a gift list! Rank x

I think a gift list is quite helpful. Then you can buy what they want to suit your budget.

Seeing it wrote like this I’d say wedding.

You’re inviting people to your wedding not the marriage. It’s your wedding day you’re asking people to celebrate with you

Yes, good point.

Thank you everyone...I hadn't even noticed I'd changed from 3rd to 1st person! So, glad I asked for help :)

I think we'll go with your suggestion Roses. I was a bit wary of being formal as I am handwriting the invitations myself and because we are 'hosting' it ourselves, so didn't want to seem pretentious as it's not a very fancy do. But my own made-up wording muddles everything up! :)

No gift lists will be mentioned on the invitation I promise! We don't need gifts

Congratulations OP, hope you have a lovely day.

I'm quite old skool, but if I was writing an invitation today I'd be less formal and say something like

You're invited to the marriage of X and X on -date-
at -venue-

Then celebrating afterwards at -wherever- until -time- (if you have a fixed end time)

Dress will be -semi formal/cocktail/whatever takes your fancy (this bit is optional if you think people need guidance)

We'd love you to join us if you can X and X
Please RSVP no later than -date- so we can formalise the numbers

Edit
Sorry other posts were made while I was typing.

Handwritten invitations sound really lovely, very personal. My DC told guests, no dress code, wear whatever you feel happy in. I don't think you have to use formal language at all. If you want anyone to proof read once you've decided post it up and get help x

Absolutely. So cheeky putting in a gift list with the invitation. Just don't.

Thank you Martinis:)

Lots of good ideas...I just need to remember to use 'their' not 'our/us' if we're going with 'x and x'.

Wanted to try and incorporate guest names in too as I think it sounds more welcoming/personal.

I never knew wedding planning would be so complicated! (Nice though)

Maybe say that on the invitation.

I do kind of want it to be a bit formal because the church ceremony is really important to me, but relaxed and friendly at the same time!

Probably overthinking it all

Also, if you include guest names and the guest is my friend 'Sarah' and her husband 'Bob', do you put Sarah's name first (as she's my friend and i don't know Bob that well) so for example

Ginger and Fred request the pleasure of the company of Sarah and Bob at their marriage...

Not at all @Weddingquestions it's important to you and special. Other people won't micro analyse though.

You could try something like

Dear A and B

We're getting married at -church- on -date- at -time- and would be very happy if you join us there, then to celebrate afterwards at -venue-

insert any other information you want to like, meal, BBQ, drinks and dancing, and the end time if you want people to know when to order taxis or whatever.
Same goes for any dress code info.

Then sign off with your names.

Or is that too informal? Personally I think informal and handwritten sit best together, but that might not be what you want.

The important things are to let people know where, when and timings so they can plan accordingly. Also make sure you put that RSVP date in because people can be very relaxed about replying and letting you know, when you actually need to do the planning.

Guests names at the top right of the invitation.

If it's informal I don't think the order matters. Bob and Sarah / Sarah and Bob - whichever rolls off the tongue most easily.

I think the important part of a wedding is the marriage.

Congratulations BTW.

Some people enjoy a bit of formality.

Actually that sounds really nice Martinis. I did wonder about doing that originally, as in 'Dear X and x, we would love you to join us...with love from X and x etc'. Especially as the invitations are pretty cards with nice paper inserted and a ribbon, so very home-made...maybe that would be best after all.

My only reservation was that I think friends and family expect it to be more low key knowing us (me, in particular), but I do have a proper wedding dress and it is traditional (and very important to us!) so i wanted to make sure people knew that from the invitation and made an effort iyswim.

Probably best to go with Roses wording I think, then people know what to expect...

I guess in the past invitations would all have been handwritten so maybe won't look too odd

Whatever you feel comfortable with will be fine @Weddingquestions so long as the invitation is clear as to when and where to show up and how to plan. You can say dress informal, or dress up it’s a special day, up to you.

It’s also true that some people like formality, but personally I associate pleasure of your company invites with the bride’s parents hosting a big do, or a grand hotel. It also sounds a bit insincere to me. I like invites that reflect the couple in question and the style of the wedding, so I don’t think a less formal style of invitation makes the actual wedding any less important or serious. Just style it how you want people to hear it. Write it and read it out loud and think of what suits your ideas best. If you want very formal language for solemnity, then do that 🎊

Edit again

Also typed before the previous post.

Handwritten invitations are the MOST proper in etiquette; engraved/printed are a pale imitation of the personal handwritten. (I have collected etiquette books for 40 years...)

The hosts issue the invitations. Assuming that you and the groom are the hosts, something like this:

Alex Jones and Robin Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at their wedding ceremony
at 4 o'clock in the afternoon
on Saturday, December 10, 2024
Winchester Cathedral, Hampshire

Dinner and dancing to follow
The Royal Arms
Cocktail attire

Btw "pleasure of your company" is proper for invitations EXCEPT to a funeral/wake, in which case "the honour of your presence.." is correct.

or, if you wish to avoid the third-person, just write a normal note.

Dear Oliver,
Wonderful news! Alex and I are to be married on Saturday, December 10 and would be so pleased if you could join us for the 4 o'clock ceremony at Winchester Cathedral, with dinner and dancing immediately to follow at The Royal Arms. Dressy cocktail attire as we are going all out for a memorable evening!
We are so looking forward to the day, and your presence would make us very happy.

Much love, Robin
PS: Please do let me know by November 15, so that we may finalize the arrangements.