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Original poster

If you've had to cancel or postpone...

27 replies

Didntwanttochangemyname · 25/03/2020 20:13

If you've had to cancel or postpone your wedding due to CoronaVirus, what are you planning to do on the day you were supposed to get married?

I was holding on to a little bit of hope that we might still be able to marry - just me, DHtb and a couple of witnesses - but that is no longer an option and I feel completely desolate. Cancelling the big wedding we'd been planning for the last year was a blow, but this has completely knocked the wind out of my sails.

I keep picturing the day and all I want to do is drink wine and cry.

(completely self indulgent, I know. There are so many worse things going on in the world, but right now this is the struggle I'm working through).

OP posts:
Jamjam1 · 25/03/2020 20:37

Hi there, It’s not self indulgent. You have every right to feel sad and disappointed. My wedding was meant to be in May and I have moved it to late September. I actually moved it before the situation became really bad and now I’m worried that I wont even be able to go ahead in September.

If I can’t get married in September I plan on getting married legally in a registry office when I can and then having a big celebration, perhaps with a humanist ceremony next year.

Drink wine, but don’t cry. There are plenty of people going through this too and you always have other options. You still have your partner. That’s the most important thing, but I’m sure you know that already x

PostieGal · 26/03/2020 16:48

Ours is due to be on 30th April, still a couple of weeks outside of the current "lock down" period of three weeks, but I'm thinking the lock down is more than likely going to be extended. I completely understand your feelings, it's a very important and special occasion that has been halted by something completely out of our control. Are you planning to postpone the date but continue with everything else as planned? Have your suppliers all been ok with the change of date?

No plans yet for us to do anything special on our supposed "wedding date" I'll probably just sit sobbing at home in my personalised "Bride" dressing gown that has the date printed on it Sad

Jamjam1 · 26/03/2020 17:17

My suppliers were all ok with changing the date apart from the photographer. We cancelled 8 weeks before the wedding and she wants us to pay the full amount (£1,400) because it’s outside of the 10 week cancellation policy. She only has 3 dates available in Nov and Dec so she was very booked up :(
I’m hoping the insurance will cover it if the venue shuts in May.

Purplequalitystreet · 26/03/2020 18:02

I've just rearranged my June wedding to next April. On my non wedding day we'll probably get a takeaway and drink wine (unless DP is working - NHS). Hopefully it will rain. If it's glorious weather I'll be gutted.

Trying very hard to focus on the bigger picture. DP is a paramedic so frankly I'll be happy if we're all still healthy

Original poster
Didntwanttochangemyname · 26/03/2020 18:31

I hadn't even thought about the weather - if its a beautiful day that will be tough to accept!
I feel less crap than yesterday, so hopefully by the time the date rolls around I'll be OK, but it's just the idea of being stuck at home when it's supposed to be such an important date. I lost 5 stone in the last 12 months, my dress fits perfectly right now, so I can't even comfort eat!

We've cancelled as our venue were adamant the they were going to carry on as planned, and then they said we could postpone but we'd have to pay full whack for the original date and the new one. Financially it made more sense to cancel and claw it back through insurance.

As soon as the registry office opens for weddings again we'll be in there like a shot and just go and get married, have a party in a year or so, but I just feel really impatient now.

I'm really sorry to all of you that have had to cancel or postpone, it's so hard to emotionally build up to something and then deal with the disappointment of not having it to look forward to anymore.

OP posts:
SheWoreBlueVelvet · 26/03/2020 19:07

So sorry for everyone this year. My friends recently married after having to change the date and venue twice. Luckily they got married Sunday,the day before the ban.

One more thing to consider is maybe the “mood”will be different then. Imagine being in a Italy and getting married after this. It may be a fantastic “whew” or a bit melancholic or the country could be on its knees.
I’d plan to have the smallest ceremony possible ASAP for legal reasons ( (even though intimate ceremonies are incredibly special actually). Maybe don’t tell anyone Plan the lovely wedding party after it calms down?

Potterurotter · 27/03/2020 12:46

Are the registry offices getting back to you re rearranging? I contacted surrey a few days ago but haven’t heard anything.

TheDogsMother · 27/03/2020 12:53

Ours was 9th May now rearranged to 30th October so very much hoping it can go ahead then. DP was gifted a fabulous sirloin joint in return for some work so I think we will have that by way of marking the day. I will try not to crack into the stock of Nyetimber we'd bought for the toasts. Still trying to unpick the mini honeymoon it Opodo are being atrocious 😞

YDYtrue · 27/03/2020 13:00

Mine was meant to be 9th May, I have a bottle of champagne I’m hoping to drink on the day. Maybe a nice meal at home depending on how bad things are by then.

SouthWestmom · 27/03/2020 13:02

I would really like to know what plans there are in the case that a couple can't go ahead due to covid19 and then one of them dies. I hope they have some kind of system to avoid more hassle for people.

Original poster
Didntwanttochangemyname · 27/03/2020 15:35

@Potterurotter I've not heard back from our registry office for well over a week, I'm assuming they've just stopped responding until they have something to say?

I'll put a bottle of very nice champagne in the fridge for the day, and try to cook a favourite meal for us, that will help I'm sure.

Thank you all so much for replying, I feel terrible mentioning being upset about it to anyone in real life as this has hit everyone hard, and it's only a wedding, not someone's life at risk.

In a silly way its just nice to know other people are in the same boat. I've pretty much come off social media, all the targeted ads etc are wedding related and they are doing my head in!

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 27/03/2020 17:13

I actually thought about this OP. Turns out I'll be at work 😂

I did want to have a BBQ with friends (current situation permitting) but I guess I'll just sit at my desk all day then drink prosecco when I get in

iVampire · 27/03/2020 17:20

Drink wine, but don’t cry

Excellent advice

This is a really shit position to be in, and anyone would be upset. You’re right, in the greater scale of things, this is far from the worst that’s going on. But it’s the worst thing that’s happening to you right now. Try not to wallow - that won’t do any good, but mark the occasion. When you reach your Silver Wedding anniversary you’ll look back on how you coped and got through it as a couple, not at how awful it was when you first found out you needed such a drastic change of plan

Charlottejade89 · 08/04/2020 08:16

Ours is supposed to be 28th june, we havent been officially cancelled by the venue yet but we are expecting to be. Even if it can go ahead we are going to postpone until next summer because I think there will still be restrictions in place meaning certain people wont be able to come and alot of anxiety about the virus still. I plan of drinking plenty of prosecco with my DHtb and dancing round the living room to queen

Greenvilla · 08/04/2020 21:18

We are due to marry on the 16th of April. Obviously that's not happening.
We have our new date of 31 of Oct.

Both my partner and I are taking 2 days off work (we are both working from home) and going to spend it together in lock down
Not sure what we'll be doing. Maybe some bubbly in the garden

Flixsfoilball · 12/04/2020 02:31

We have had to move ours from is June to end of January. We are either - going for a ridiculously expensive tasting menu at our favourite expensive restaurant, or getting hideously drunk...

Flixsfoilball · 12/04/2020 02:33

*mid June

Flixsfoilball · 12/04/2020 02:34

We just couldn't go ahead in June, we were too worried about it being a shadow of what we had planned.

PostieGal · 12/04/2020 12:52

As tough as it is, it's really reassuring to know we're not alone. Thank you for sharing your stories, they're really nice to read.

We have been in limbo for a few weeks, presuming we'd be cancelled, but with no official word from our registrars (Hertfordshire). We were due to be getting married on 30th April. Up until yesterday the registrars had only confirmed cancellations up until 14th April, so even though ours is only a few weeks away we didn't have any official notification that we were going to have to postpone... crazy!

A few days ago I had a voicemail telling me that there was no further news yet and to keep an eye on their website. I did. Yesterday the website changed to say "all prebooked ceremonies are cancelled until May", so we're taking it that we are now officially cancelled.

We're also expecting our first baby, with a due date of 13th October, so we've decided we don't want to try to squeeze a wedding in before then with this virus likely lurking for the vast majority of that time. We think we're going to try to reschedule for the same date next year, but now need to start contacting our suppliers to see if they're available.

Although OH is a paramedic, he has the week of our supposed wedding off as annual leave, and he's decided he still wants to have the week off to spend the time together. He suggested we should spend the day doing weddingy things - I'm not too sure what exactly but I'm guessing watching wedding films, eating posh food and drinking lots of (alco-free) Prosecco!!
I'm also planning on changing my name by deed poll to take his surname ahead of the birth of our little one, and we've even spoken about potentially wearing our wedding rings symbolically from this April.

Mummyme87 · 12/04/2020 20:45

Our wedding day should have been yesterday. We have postponed ton28th November... our venue gave us one date option 😫 really hope this date is going to be okay and we can go ahead

SureTry · 13/04/2020 07:12

We were due to get married this week, if lockdown restrictions were lifted. We we're called by the registrar last week to say they had received new guidance and there was no chance of us getting married. Our county are not conducting any weddings until mid June and it will still probably only be 4 people including us. We've rebooked our wedding but I haven't even bothered to put it in my calendar. If it goes ahead I won't be wearing my wedding dress just feels a bit much to dress up for just us.

We have postponed the reception so when we're allowed to (and people are comfortable with socialising again) we will be able to do a celebration ceremony so our family can be a part of it and I'll wear my wedding dress. Of course, this is all dependent on our reception venue not going out of business in the meantime.

MoreGinPlease2020 · 06/05/2020 22:21

@PostieGal I was wondering if I could be cheeky and ask whether you've actually now changed your name? I'm in a similar situation, due to get married this month with a baby due in November and it looks like we're postponing the wedding until next May. I'm considering changing my name in the interim and wondered if you'd gone ahead and done so? It seems straightforward enough in practice and Google suggests a new passport isn't strictly needed, although I don't know how "upgrading" from Miss to Mrs will work after we actually get married.

PostieGal · 10/05/2020 10:25

@moreginplease2020 hi! Sorry I've only just seen your message, I don't come on here very often. Congratulations on the baby, scary times though isn't it. Yes I changed my name officially, I found a website to do it for free, and bought some nice heavy certificate paper to print it on. You will need two witnesses to sign it, who aren't related to you or your OH; I got the neighbours to do mine. I got them to sign three copies for me in case I needed to send them off anywhere then I could do more than one at a time. I already had a passport in my new name, we did it in advance as we were supposed to be going away in May, so I've emailed HMPO to see if I can keep it now I've changed my name, but I haven't heard anything yet. I'm struggling to get my work to change my name because my managers are really busy... they won't see this as important... so I'm going to have to pester them. My bank was really good though, I was able to print and complete a change of name form before I went to branch, and they were only letting one customer in at a time so I felt really safe. They took the change of name form off me and looked at the Deed Poll and changed it on their system there and then, I'm just waiting for my new debit cards and cheque book to arrive now. I'll tackle other companies... like mortgage, insurance, council tax, hospital etc in the coming weeks. I'm hoping having the bank cards to back up the Deed Poll will make things smoother. As for the wedding itself, I'm sure it'll be straightforward, I don't think they have to say your surnames during the ceremony, and actually I've put "Mrs" as my title on things now too... saves changing everything again whenever we do get married.

MoreGinPlease2020 · 10/05/2020 11:12

Thanks @PostieGal that's really helpful. Congratulations on your baby too. I hope you've managed to postpone your wedding without too much trouble - we're waiting for tonight's announcement but realistically we'll have to postpone until next May I think. Our suppliers are being really good so I think we're pretty lucky.

PostieGal · 10/05/2020 23:17

@MoreGinPlease2020 that's good news, all our supplies have varied from ok to fantastic. Our venue is being the oddest, but I think we're still pretty lucky with them, they've offered to honour 2020 prices for us in 2021 and carried forward our deposit. Initially they were saying all rescheduled weddings would need to take place by April 2021, but I think they've scrapped that now because they still don't know when they're going to reopen, so it might be too hard for them to fit everyone in by that deadline. They're tripping up on things though, like poor communication, and they sent us a "Thanks for staying with us, please write a review" email the day after our supposed wedding. That made us a bit sad really. Unfortunately we can't pick a new date yet because our registrars aren't taking and rebookings or new bookings yet but everyone else has been great. We just have to hope no one goes bankrupt.