Help is this even doable!?

[FairytaleOfSkegness]

Me and DP got engaged at Christmas. The only real decision we've made so far is that we'd like to get married on our anniversary which is at the end of June. Now the dilemma is that if we did it this year it would be on a Saturday (so perfect date) but is there enough time to plan everything!?

I suggested eloping just the two of us this year and then holding a big wedding party next year on our anniversary but no one else is keen on that idea, including the groom!

So our current plan is to hire a big cottage somewhere for the whole weekend and have all the guests stay there (don't want a massive wedding). In the morning me and DP would sneak off to the registry office with our siblings as witnesses to take care of the legal side of things and then have a proper "ceremony" back at the house that all our friends and family would witness.

The reason we've decided to do it this way is a) it's cheaper (can just have the bare minimum in the registry office) and b) we can fully tailor the ceremony to exactly what we want Eg no restrictions on music or the words we say to each other

The plan would then be to spend the rest of the afternoon/ evening having a good old fashioned knees up! We're thinking fish and chip supper, dancing and plenty of booze!

We don't have a very big budget (and even if we did we wouldn't want to spend it as we're also saving for a house) and I'm just worried we don't have enough time or money to plan it. Thank you if you got this far. Sorry it turned out so long! So honest opinions please?

We planned our entire wedding in 5 weeks so it can be done definitely! Meant we didn't change our minds on things and we had an amazing day. Ours was just under 6k in total and we had everything we wanted. Enjoy your day

Depends on how fixed you are on the details. I've been to 3 or 4 weddings over the years that have been arranged in 4 - 12 weeks time. Your issue is going to be finding accommodation (in holiday season) for the group you are thinking of, with room enough for everyone to gather together for your ceremony.

Okay you've given me some hope!

I realise the accommodation is going to be tricky! Really we need a house with enough garden space to be outside and at least 6 bedrooms for the key wedding party. I know the rest won't mind doubling up in rooms or slumming it slightly on airbeds and sleeping bags if necessary!

I was thinking of booking somewhere with a b&b fairly close by for those who will want an earlier night like our grandparents and friends with children so there will be extra accommodation there too.

I was hoping that by not choosing a "traditional" wedding venue there'd be more availability and it would be cheaper but that doesn't seem to be the case!

I'd be happy to hire out a hall instead of a house but all the ones I've looked at so far you have to be out quite early

Will people take offense to going all that way and not being invited to the actual wedding?

You could do an exclusive hire on a youth hostel - i just selected a random weekend in June 15th to 19th and this place is free and just over £1000n sleeps 36 in 7 bedrooms exclusive-hire.yha.org.uk/properties/england/yha-bracken-tor even has a dining room

Worth a look

second building in its ground too exclusive-hire.yha.org.uk/properties/england/yha-bracken-tor-lodge

or this one is fab exclusive-hire.yha.org.uk/properties/england/yha-ironbridge-coalbrookdale just over £2000 for the same weekend and loads of space

I see what you mean rubies we were hoping that by having a ceremony out in the garden for everyone they would view that as the actual wedding not the fact we signed a bit of paper an hour or so beforehand. But now I'm not sure?

Thanks for that website katz there are some fantastic properties and available when we want them!

I was looking into it for our 40th birthday parties. Some beautiful places - maybe slightly less glam inside but that's what bunting is for.

We've had two sets of friends who've had s quick registery office wedding then a personal ceremony in an unlicensed venue. Was lovely. Most people didn't know until after the ceremony that there had been a reg office bit. Nice thing is that the person conducting the ceremony was a friend of the bride and groom.

Possible but probably not easy, as a pp said depends how rigid you are on what you want.

Also June is peak month for weddings so many venues/florists/caterers etc will already be booked up, certainly the better ones. If you're wanting a traditional dress you'll likely have to get off the rack/previously loved as new takes min 6 months, ditto certain shoes/accessories.

What are the legalities of marrying in a register office outside your area of residency? Is that something that needs organised?

As I say, possible, but I can see you needing to change the date and be quite flexible on details.

We're doing something similar - getting married on our 10th Anniversary, smallish budget but doing the legal thing in the morning and having a humanist ceremony at a village hall we love. We got engaged in August.

Trust me, no one will see the paper signing as the "real wedding", and if they do, they're idiots. The "real wedding" is the bit where you and your DP make promises to each other, not the legalities!

Remember if you're hiring a house out, you'll need to feed your guests more than once, so a fish and chip supper might be fine for the wedding breakfast, but then think about what you'll feed people in the evening/ morning if they are staying over?

For all weddings you have to "give notice" in the area where you're getting married. So if you're marrying outside your constituency, you'll need to talk to the registry office to organise this. In our area, you have to give notice at least 3 months before the wedding to allow the registrar to check you're both free to marry. Minimum amount of notice nationally is 28 days, but the registrar can ask you to postpone the wedding if you haven't allowed adequate time.

As for the timings: Ours is booked for april 2018 and even we are currently struggling to get our first choice of suppliers. You find if you're on a budget, the cheaper people and the most expensive people get booked up really fast, so if you book on short notice you end up with the mediocre providers who are overpriced. Photographers are particularly bothersome!

It's completely possible to organise and sort a wedding in 5 months but it won't be easy, so just have a think :)