small wedding

[themumfairy]

Me and dp have been together 10 years and have 3 children.
I've always wanted to get married but he hasn't been so keen.
He actually opened up yesterday and said if he could go and get married with no one there we'd of been married years ago.

He is very shy and doesn't want to speak in front of people
How can I persuade him that family should be there and how can you have a small wedding with it still being special? I've only ever been to 2 weddings both in a Church so it's all new to me

Compromise? Ditch speeches and pomp and ceremony and just have dinner in a pub with a lock in?

How much of a 'do' do you want?

Me and dp are having a small wedding. Just us two (and two witnesses). We have kids too, they aren't coming. They get to spend the weekend with their gran while we have the ultimate date night/weekend. Getting married in pretty registry office, posh hotel, nice food etc etc. It'll be special to us, and we'll have a party when we get home. Could you do something similar?

I would love a party afterwards but for the actual service I'm not fussed.
Our registry office is at our county hall so full of people and very busy. I think I'd feel a bit silly in a wedding dress there but would love to wear one.

We are just thinking about what we want to do for ours and our prefered options at the moment are;

• Registry office room with just us and 2 witnesses, plus one of our local counties also allows minor children of the bride or groom (not sure about this as one of his is over 18). Followed by a meal for very close family - 12 max (us, parents, our children and 2 siblings + spouses). Meal most likely at lunch time and either private room or in main restaurant of wherever we choose. We wouldn't necessarily have the ceremony on the same day as the meal.

• Registry office ceremony room with the same close family attending followed by a meal at a nearby location as above. More logistics to this, but I think family will probably like it if they are invited to the ceremony.

• Venue ceremony room as above with meal at the venue. Less logistics than the above, but I don't know whether venues will offer for such a small gathering - but whichever we go for will be a weekday and lunchtime meal and hopefully this will make it more attractive for the venue.

I guess the cost will increase proportionally with each option, purely related to the registrar fees for each option, plus option 3 will involve greater venue costs.
I've just emailed a couple of places to see if they will do it an get a feel for costs.

Cost not the main reason for above options though, it's 2nd time round for both of us and neither of us want a big do.

And now I am thinking - WTF will I wear!

Look on your local council website for their options. Ours has the couple + 2 witness room or larger ceremony room at a number of registry offices in the county, so it might not just be your county hall.

I am a shy person, and didn't want to do the whole speech thing.
so we got married abroad us, parents, baby.
We had a wedding party on our return ( a great excuse to wear my dress again) but we didn't have any speeches as I hate talking in front of a crowd.

We did this, Registry office on a Saturday, with only parents and siblings (=witnesses) and one grandparent, two nieces under 10. Then on foot to a local restaurant which had a function room where we all fitted round the table (13 ppl) no speeches either!
Then home where I had invited about 40 friends for cake (made by me) and champagne. No fuss, no stress and everyone enjoyed it.
I wore a nice formal lilac summer dress and DH did wear a suit but no tie .

PS and it was definitely 'special' even after we'd already been together for 10+ years.