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Original poster

Children are invited!

12 replies

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 11/07/2015 20:40

My db is getting married in a couple of months. All very straightforward, nothing too controversial.... And they included a note in the invitation saying that people were welcome to being their children.

Two of our relatives have rsvp'd that they are coming and will be bringing their children... and their children's partners. Said children are all in their 30s... An extra 6 people.

Db is not sure how to respond to this, they can afford to include them but they've never even met these people or their partners and feel its all a bit weird. Relatives are on our dad's side and we are not close to them. Dad says he can do what he likes.... What is the mumsnet view??!

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 11/07/2015 20:44

Hahaha - that's ridiculous.

I'd send a note back saying, Sorry for any misunderstanding but we thought it would be clear that by children we meant minors, not adult children.

CurlsLDN · 11/07/2015 20:48

Ah eek! How awkward. I totally see where the confusion has happened though, rather than realise that the same wording went to everyone, they have taken it as being meant for them (after all it was on their invite!)

I think your brother should get in touch and say something along the lines of:

I'm so sorry there seems to have been a misunderstanding. The line about children was in all the invites, and was intended to reassure those with young children that it isn't a 'child free wedding'. We are honoured that x, x and x would like to come, but we have had to be quite careful on numbers due to venue capacity/budget and so unfortunately we aren't able to accommodate them. Please do let them know that we send our love and apologies, and would love to see them if they're ever in our neck of the woods

Original poster
TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 11/07/2015 20:55

The exact wording is "p.s Bring your children if you want or leave them at home, up to you!!"

And it's printed on the bottom of the invitation as a sort of afterthought. I'm adverse to confrontation, I sort of thought they should just come!

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 11/07/2015 21:00

How ridiculous, why would you assume that your adult children were included. Adults get their own invitation.
Silly people. Why would the adult children want to come to the wedding of someone they've never met?
I think he should just explain.

CurlsLDN · 11/07/2015 21:08

Oh to clarify, they've been eejits. Your db did nothing wrong with the phrasing of the invite and any right minded person would totally understand. My (lengthy) suggested message was just a way to get it across to them, with as little confrontation as possible
I

enderwoman · 11/07/2015 21:11

That's insane! Your db obviously meant children who are an age that needs a babysitter.

BeakyMinder · 11/07/2015 21:14

If he can afford it, then let them come. Extending an offer then recanting and telling the relatives they're taking the piss will create a nasty atmosphere, who needs that at a wedding? Your DB isn't George Osborne and so there is no need to make a big deal about who deserves an invite or not. I say get with the spirit of generosity.

Lweji · 11/07/2015 21:15

If I was your brother, I'd apologise as if it had been my mistake, but make it very clear that I meant underage children and not adults with their partners (FGS!).

Why would they want to go to a wedding of someone they don't even know, anyway?

Glindathegoodwitch · 17/08/2015 16:15

Extending an offer then recanting

That is not what happened here though is it. The invite was taken the wrong way. Would anybody in their right mind think that 'children are invited' would mean 'bring your adult children and their partners'???

FWIW OP, I think the family members who have responded this way are pulling your pisser for want of a better phrase!! Surely nobody is that stupid!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/08/2015 16:19

Do any of these "children" still live at home with the parents? If not then they can make it clear that it was "children still living at the address to which the invitation was sent" - not random bloody adults who just happen to be the offspring of the invitees!!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/08/2015 16:21

I mean, it's pretty clear from the wording in the PS that it's meant to be children still living at home, I'm astounded at the piss-takery that these people are attempting! And no, I would NOT just let them come, especially if your brother doesn't know them at all. And even if he did let the adult "children" come, where the fuck do they get off including their partners??!

LynetteScavo · 17/08/2015 16:39

Adult "children" need their own invitation!

Your DB has to tell these relatives in the nicest possible way they are idiots.

Or feed the adult "children" in a separate room with chicken nuggets and a Disney video.

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