Hen party hell!

[Lizzie568]

I know it is such an honour to be asked to be a bridesmaid. I haven't been one before and am now bridesmaid twice this year and can't wait for the big days. But honestly, organising the hen parties has been the most stressful, hair pulling out, frustratingly difficult thing to do, ever- and I have done events organising for a living! Dealing with the other hens is a nightmare - anything from not affording the costs, not wanting to do the activities, last minute drop outs, the list goes on. Any tips out there??

I am going on a hen this year

I have found the maid of honour organising it to be a bit too ott

why can't it just be a meal in a pub & some drinks

why does it have to involve a 2 night stay, a day thing (Saturday ), a night thing (Saturday night), and then a proposed brunch on the Sunday

there have been endless emails - choose your meal, pay your part of the hen's meal (despite forking out travel and accomodation we still pay for the bride's meal?)

It's costing at least £200 so far :(

Yes. Decide on something you know the Bride to be will enjoy. Send out an e-mail with the invite, details, and cost.
That's it.
If you try to pander to everyone you are not going to succeed.
If other hens try to whinge , change your mind etc. just tell them @this is something the bride likes/will enjoy so this is what is happening. Sorry if you are unable to attend and I will pass your apologise on to the bride.

ask the bride what level of party they want - weekend away, day out, just a night out etc as she will have some idea of what most people can afford and would be interested in.

if it's a weekend away, arrange something where people can drop in/out for different periods without it being too much a pita. ie they can come for the whole thing, or sat lunch onwards, or just dinner/drinks on sat eve. Then offer different costs based on that.

funnyfoot has the right idea, I have taken this approach before. If anyone complains, ask them if they would like to organise the weekend in your behalf.

Well I'm £300 down on the first one due to covering the cost of the drop outs (we had to go ahead with activities as there was a minimum number). For the second I tried to get everyone to book their own hotels so I didn't have to worry about this (if they want to stay, no pressure) but now the costs have shot up and have found out that most people haven't yet booked. So the bride and I are currently on our own in the hotel!!

when I got married I just organised my own hen do
I would never have expected anyone to go through the hassle my friend's maid of honour is going through
it's insane
I'd have been mortified if anyone was out of pocket because of my hen do too