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Original poster

Drinks for wedding guests

26 replies

stopthenoise · 15/07/2013 16:03

OK, we're getting married next August in a hotel. We're on a really tight budget and got an all in deal for just over £1000. The only thing it doesn't include is drinks. We can pay extra for a drink for the speeches and meal and obviously buy bottles of wine for the table but their prices are ridiculous. I think we should at least add a drink for the speeches and meal but OH thinks we shouldn't because of the cost. His thinking is what we would pay for drinks could go towards something more important. He said if people want drinks they can get them, they should be coming to share our day not for a free piss up In a way he's right but I don't think our guests should go dry! Any advice?

OP posts:

TakingTheStairs · 15/07/2013 16:05

You don't have to have an extra drink for the speeches if you're on such a tight budget but at the very minimum you should provide wine for the table to go with the meal.
Guests don't come for a piss up, but to not give them any drink at all is being a very bad host.
Your guests won't remember what car you had but they will remember not being given any wine.

Alwayscheerful · 15/07/2013 16:06

I think the minimum would be a drink on arrival and a glass of something for the toast. 5 glasses to the bottle, how many guests?

pizzaqueen · 15/07/2013 16:07

I think most would provide a drink for the toast and at least one with the meal. people have probably spent a lot on travel, outfits, gifts, accommodation etc to come to your wedding you should make your guests feel welcome by providing a drink.

Dackyduddles · 15/07/2013 16:08

I wouldn't expect a free bar.

I would be very surprised to not get two glasses of wine with meal and something to toast you with.

Picturepuncture · 15/07/2013 16:09

What dackyduddles said.

Original poster

stopthenoise · 15/07/2013 16:14

Thanks for your replies. Drink on arrival is included so it's mainly for the meal I was worried about. takingthestairs I said the same to OH, people will remember that we didn't provide drinks, it is a bit mean. If we don't have an extra drink for the speeches I think a bottle for the table for the meal will be the best option. Thank you for your advice!

OP posts:

tumbletumble · 15/07/2013 16:15

What is your fiance thinking of when he says 'something more important'? Tbh (from a guest's perspective) I can't think of anything more important than a couple of glasses of wine! They won't care about the dress, stationery etc.

yellowsnownoteatwillyou · 15/07/2013 16:15

I got out of the madness you spend on drinks by doing no speeches, and a BBQ with no seating plan, so no wine on the tables mainly because I don't drink wine neither does DH.

I did have a table of wine and beer after the ceremony for people to take (one drink each)and everybody went to the bar after that.

If people didn't like it, then I never heard about it, but I didn't care my wedding my rules.

shrinkingnora · 15/07/2013 17:12

Barrel of beer from a local brewery? They should deliver and tap it for you and it is a cheap way of getting a large volume of good quality alcohol. I'll do you a cheap one if you're any where near my brewery. We've done beer for quite a few weddings and it always goes down well.

shrinkingnora · 15/07/2013 17:14

How many guests are you having?

BucketsnSpades · 15/07/2013 18:29

Could you negotiate a corkage rate? This meansyou supply the wine and they charge for service. We have done this with our venue along with getting a barrel of ale for the men and it has worked out much cheaper than buying by the glass.

MangoJuiceAddict · 28/07/2013 22:46

How many guests are you having? I had a very big wedding (a few hundred guests- I knew about 50 of them) with an open bar, but we did also provide bottles for each table- which is something you could do (depending on how many tables you have). A bottle of vodka, whisky, champagne and wine on each table with mixers. But you could do this to suit your budget by providing miniatures- Or you could put jugs of homemade cocktails on the tables? Although that may vary depending on the licensing of the hotel. Weddings are so exciting!

raisah · 24/08/2013 05:12

Make sure that you provide for the none drinkers too.I went to a wedding where they had mocktails, posh soft drinks & sparling elderberry on arrival. Alcohol was served with the meal only and there was a paybar in the evening.

It was a good idea to serve none alcoholic drinks before the ceremony & meal because that's the time people drink themselves stupid. They equate drinking themselves stupid with having a good time & then deal with a horrific hangover afterwards. I dont get it. I think it was the first wedding where the guests actually remembered the ceremony because they were sober.

MummyBeerest · 24/08/2013 05:23

This is going to make me sound like a boozehound, but unless you're mainly a group of non-drinkers, alcohol is
one of the most important things at a wedding. Especially given that people are shelling out travel, childcare and wedding gift costs.

Cut somewhere else. As someone else said, not everything in a wedding is everyone's taste (flowers, dresses, decor etc.) But everyone enjoys food and drink.

ihearsounds · 24/08/2013 05:28

Maybe still look around for venues.
Maybe I have big glasses, but I never get 5 glasses of wine out of a bottle.
Are you going to have a choice of wine on each table, or literally one bottle. Then what about your non drinkers and those that don't like wine?
It's not about guests wanting a free piss up, it's just that even guests have already spent a small fortune, and when you have a sit down meal you assume that the drinks will also be provided.
Also by limiting drinks, thus guests will want additional drinks how will this work? Will they be charged there and then or some type of tab?

SimLondon · 31/08/2013 22:32

If its a daytime wedding then a bottle of bucks fizz or jug of pimms would be perfect and very low cost.

Trills · 31/08/2013 22:34

People will remember if there are no drinks during the meal.

Trills · 31/08/2013 22:39

A glass of something on arrival, two during the meal, something to toast with.

Absolute minimum.

Your friends and relatives will remember.

Things that are less important than wine include (but are not limited to)
tablet decorations
flowers
favours
colour-coordinated anything

BrianTheMole · 31/08/2013 22:49

We had a couple of glasses of sparkling wine immediately after the wedding, but no wine on the tables at feeding time. It was less formal as a buffet where people collected their food and sat where they wanted. We didn't have speeches until late into the night, and also asked for no wedding gifts. People seemed happy with that.

Bowlersarm · 31/08/2013 22:55

Sorry but I really think you do need to supply wine for the table. I agree with posters who say your guests will remember there was no wine at the table but won't remember other details. You'll just be remembered as a bit tight, and not good hosts.

It's not just raging alcoholics who would like a drink either. I am often the driver when we go to weddings and I love that glass of wine with the meal.

Have a pay bar afterwards though.

KenyanSunrise · 04/10/2013 15:45

I also think you should at least have drinks for during the meal.

We're getting married September next year and we also have gone for a package deal.
Our guests are getting a glass of prosseco or a bottle of beer when they arrive, half a bottle of wine each during the meal, and a glas of prosseco for the toast. It is a pay bar though, we couldnt stretch to a free bar.

paperclipsarebetterthanstaples · 04/10/2013 15:51

We went to a wedding in august where there were no drinks except for watery fizz for the toast - i was really surprised and a bit chuffed off if I'm honest I'll probably remember that as it was quite unusual rather than other 'important' stuff in 5 years time.

hermioneweasley · 04/10/2013 15:55

They are wedding guests. You are their host. Wine with the meal is a necessity, and if you aRe having speeches and toasts then you need to provide something for the toasts. I say this as someone who doesn't drink - it's basic hospitality.

EverythingInMjiniature · 04/10/2013 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JRmumma · 04/10/2013 16:04

IMO it would be very bad form not to pay for wine with the meal. You might as well send your guests out to McDonalds to feed themselves.

i think your OH is being very short sighted about exactly what 'coming to share your day' entails and so the least you can do is buy them a couple of glasses of wine. I'm sure no one is expecting you to foot the bill for them to get shit faced.

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