BLW choking (NOT just gagging)

[Qally]

My son hates purees and won't be spoon fed, so I'm trying BLW. He seems a lot keener, if inordinately selective (a banana, once; broccoli, once; bread, most days) and I'm pretty relaxed about the gagging, now he's stopped throwing up all his milk feeds with it, but yesterday Mum had him and she says he properly choked - blue, no air flow - and she is flatly refusing to give him anything not mushed again. As he won't accept mush, that means... he'll eat zilch with her. And I am now scared to feed him finger-foods myself.

He has a restricted tongue, so I'm bothered that he may actually not be able, physically, to handle food that easily/safely yet. But he refuses formula, and can't bf, so I'm desperate for him to start to eat more.

How old is he? Did your mum have to do Heimlich maneuver or something, or did he just need a pat on the back to help him cough?
If he is not scared of choking, then just persevere with the finger-food. Just make sure you watch him carefully. Humans are very good at NOT choking, by the way. Although I am not sure what restricted tongue is, and how that might affect his eating. Could you ask your GP/HV about it?

He's almost 8 months now. She just whacked him quite hard, apparently.

He was badly tongue-tied, and after division improved but didn't cure it, they eventually realised he has a restriction actually through (not just underneath) his tongue. It's just not as mobile as a baby's should be. Really obviously, when we watch other babies' tongues. I don't have a clue about what impact, if any, it'll have, but given it's rare I doubt the HV will. I'll try my GP, though.

Thanks for the help - and he definitely isn't scared! Though he prefers paper to all other foods....

Good luck!

Oh, if he is only 8 months, he really should be getting most of his nutrition through breastmilk/formula (food is just for fun until 1 year) - is he really not drinking any milk at all?
If he doesnt like bottles, you could start trying a cup/sippy cup...

You know at 8 months old the store bought stuff has stopped being mush/puree and has started having lumps in it? In fact you could even try the 10month+ stuff. You don't have to spoon feed it you could just put it on the tray in front of him (has he developed his pincer grip yet?). How about foods that are essentially pureed but also grown up foods such as yogurts?
How about those little rice cakes you can get in the baby section?

I am aware you want to do BLW, which is fantastic, but both you and baby have to be happy doing it and you seem a little stressed at the moment. You don't have to be rigidly BLW or AK you can do bits of both. (I did a mixture depending on how lazy I was feeling and then last week watched my 10 month old happily destroy a yakisoba and chicken gyoza by himself in Wagamama)

Also have you tried letting him spoon feed himself? Just load a spoon and put it in front of him. It's messy at first but they pick it up quite quickly.

have you seen anyone re his resricted tongue? what is he doing for fluids?

at this age and up to 12 months, he should be getting , as has been said, most of his nutrition from milk

is he not having any milk?

agree you can try the loaded spoon idea.

BLW is not the law, if it is not working out then don;'t do it!

He's having almost all milk, still - litres of the stuff. I'm expressing it. I was hoping he'd combine a bit of formula after 6 months, but no dice. I know that food is for fun etc. - and he's even more so! In fact he thinks it's a toy, I think. .

I started with purees, tried giving them to him to play with, tried loaded spooons. He just doesn't like them. Not sure if it's texture or whether they're no fun to play with in his eyes, but he won't play ball so I moved on. Steamed veg chunks and bread he will at least nibble! I don't have any loyalty to BLW as such, but it's the only method he appears to be interested in.

He's seen lots of people about his tongue in the past. I'll take him to my GP tomorrow (she only works Tues/Thurs) and see what she advises food-wise.

We're about to start weaning so no actual experience to speak of, but have you tried using a tiny bit of puree in a shot glass rather than a spoon? Failed miserably to administer gripe water by spoon or sippy cup but on advice of another MNetter tried the shot glass et voila, happily consumed. Another option to consider, anyway...

Not to worry you, but choking is possible with purees as well as BLW. Anything that can get into the airway can be a problem.

Although my only experience of choking is when I turned around from my carefully fed baby so see my Mum choking on a bran flake. Heimlich manoeuver doesn't work but slaps on the back do the trick!

Well, I decided to just be brave and keep a close eye on him, and he's now eating really well. He can't easily eject food he dislikes with his tongue, is the only problem, he has to use his hands, but maybe that's normal? It's a huge relief. He's eating chunks of bread, cheese, veg, fruit, adores meat and fish. Likes yoghurt... and best of all, will accept formula now, so I only have to pump a few feeds a day for the antibodies and what not. The pressure is gone!

Thanks a lot for the advice - was a bit beside myself at the time.

What do BLW & AK mean? (Fairly new to MN and still learning the lingo...plus very tired and unable to use brain! )

BLW - Baby Led Weaning, i.e. put 'normal' food on their high chair and let them help themselves (sticks of carrot, hunks of bread, basically not spoon feeding them.

AK - Annabel Kar... something - has written a load of books about weaning.

baby led weaning and annabel karmel, shellseeker.

qally i'm no expert medically-speaking but tbh i'd have thought from observing the dds that they do use their tongues to eject food rather than their hands. however it does seem like your ds is getting round any issues he might have rather well. and of course they're his hands, rather than yours or someone who might jam food further in iykwim so he's nicely in control of what's going on.

tbh i'd say to your mum that she should do an infant resus course if she's looking after him a lot. i'd recommend them to anyone, you can't be a child-minder without having these things in your armoury and it's a useful skill to have. i think dd1 choked on apple once, it was quite scary but dealt wiht by a slap on the back, soooooo yes an obstruction but no harm no foul so i didn't think anything of it really.

The only other thing I can think of are offering food in very small pieces - so he can still do BLW but with nothing bigger than a pea for a while, or with your mum if she's not feeling confident about it any more. Good luck with it all.

Yeah, I suspected it wasn't normal. Oh well, as you say he's coping fine with food at this point, and babbling etc. seemingly normally on the speech front, so will just keep an eye on it. Mum and I have had a chat though, and will do that infant rescus. course, thanks for the suggestion. Probably never need it, but it would be quite unspeakable if we did, and hadn't.

Omicron, bless you for the suggestion, but actually small pieces can be a problem as he can't easily reject them once in - if we give a bigger bit of food, then he has a handle to pull at if it's not a success. He's fine if he likes the small thing (soft fruit is his friend), but he sobbed a lot when he had a bit of prawn, went "ick", and found it really hard to get out again.