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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

Chocolate at 10 weeks

26 replies

you · 03/06/2009 19:44

Went to picnic today and 10+4 DD was 'given' two chocolate magic stars and a mouthful of popping candy while I was playing with a friend's daughter in the playground.

Don't want a bunfight hence while I haven't posted in AIBU but is anything bad going to happen? I feel dreadful.

OP posts:
Goober · 03/06/2009 19:45

'Given' by who?

Unicornvomit · 03/06/2009 19:46

nothing bad will happen to her. but am stunned that anyone thought that it would be ok to give a tiny baby anything other than milk, without the mother's permission

if she was not sick and has not had a runny nappy then will be fine

Original poster
you · 03/06/2009 19:46

A twat of a DP of a friend

OP posts:
AnarchyAunt · 03/06/2009 19:49

She will be ok.

But what a knob

Mind you one of my friends gave DD a cheesy wotsit at 4 months because they are 'perfect weaning food - they met in her mouth'. DD wasn't even on bloody solids then, and I was livid.

Goober · 03/06/2009 19:50

Nothing bad is going to happen now.

Original poster
you · 03/06/2009 19:53

Thanks.

No, she hasn't vomited or anything- doubt she managed to swallow much at 10wk tbh, except what 'dissolved' in her mouth. But feel really sad. Ah well, won't be letting that happen again!

OP posts:
Unicornvomit · 03/06/2009 19:53

did you say anything to the person?

Original poster
you · 03/06/2009 20:00

No, stupidly.

I just didn't feel it was worth the hassle at the point- I would have done if it was a friend or relative but we never really see this friend's DP. But know his children were given (not fully weaned) chocolate from 6 wks + to melt in the corner of their mouths. Not out of ignorance of guidelines, just for the sake of it

OP posts:
Unicornvomit · 03/06/2009 20:07

they obviously feel that somehow , tiny babies are being deprived of the yumminess that is chocolate

it is so totally utterly bonkers and counter intuitive to give a tiny baby chocolate.

AnarchyAunt · 03/06/2009 20:15

Thing is its really really hard to say anything to someone who is a friend when a) you are so angry you are likely to be rude or to burst into tears, and b) it will be construed as a criticism of them and their parenting if its what they do to their DC.

The woman who tried to feed DD a wotsit is no longer a friend - I just stopped going to see her.

Now I think about it people are often quick to feed babies when they are too young. Another (now ex-) friend kept badgering me to give DD soya yoghurts from about 16 weeks, telling me DD was 'obviously starving' and was I 'really going to make her wait 2 more months for any food?'. I'd never try to feed anyone else's baby before the parents had started weaning.

tiktok · 03/06/2009 20:55

That's upsetting - really upsetting. No, nothing bad will happen (any allergic reaction would prob have shown by now) but it's just a horrible, twattish thing to do to someone else's baby

I'm trying to work out why it's so horrible and sad - you say you feel 'sad' about it and I can totally understand it.

It's something to do with making a sort of entertainment or novelty out of a baby, maybe - sort of using a little baby, who cannot say 'no, I am not ready for popping candy or chocolate' (popping candy....FFS), for their own amusement, at the potential expense of the baby's health.

You'll feel better about this as time goes on but you will prob never stop feeling cross about it....you'll obv steer clear of this person in the future.

Original poster
you · 03/06/2009 20:55

I know AA, that's exactly it.

Have already had this friend (her DP the one who gave it) mention weaning to me, as at 12 weeks I can start giving her rice and chocolate

Very arkward though as she is a VERY good friend. And one of my only friends since moving to this area last year. She lent us all her baby stuff, I look after her kids, we work together etc and get along really well, but honestly, can see this happening with her in the future as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
you · 03/06/2009 20:59

Thanks tiktok- you don't think it will cause any long term problems will it?

Am feeling awful for those exact reasons, but trying really hard not to get too sad, simply because I don't want this memory to be the one that comes back to me every time I think of her first taste of food

Hate imagining her poor face when it was stuffed into her mouth.

OP posts:
AnarchyAunt · 03/06/2009 21:01

It is really difficult. Don't mean to sound negative here but I ended up losing a friend over it who I had been really close to pre-DD. She was great when I was PG (unplanned) and gave me lots of stuff but the wotsits incident was just the start - she was buying diet coke for her to drink by the time DD was one. Her own DD was 6 wks prem and weaned onto tinned baby food and cheap chocolate pudding at 8 weeks

Hope you can put a foot down more effectively than I did - good luck

tiktok · 03/06/2009 21:02

No long term problems, no.

It'll help to allow yourself permission to feel sad, knowing the intensity will fade, and as it's ages before she will get her first taste of food (from you), you'll feel a lot less bad by then. Take lots of pics of her with her first foods

Haribosmummy · 03/06/2009 21:02

Agree with others, it's so sad that anyone would do that to someone else's tiny baby.

If you HAD posted in AYBU, then YADEFNBU.

I'd be super angry. I'd probably have burst into tears (have cried alot since DS was born!)

EachPeachPearMum · 03/06/2009 21:08

I have a 16wo, and if anyone went near hom with chocolate I would be utterly livid. And very upset too.
Popping candy words fail...

EachPeachPearMum · 03/06/2009 21:08

I have a 16wo, and if anyone went near him with chocolate I would be utterly livid. And very upset too.
Popping candy words fail...

Original poster
you · 03/06/2009 21:16

Thanks TT, that's reassuring anyway. I really hope I just forget it tbh, am feeling terrible.

AA- It sounds terrible but I'm sure that's the way it's headed. She feeds her 2yr DD dolly mixure, chocolate and crisps throughout the day and she drinks nothing but asda fruit shoots. I'm making her sound like a monster, but she really is a lovely woman, just with different morals and parenting ideals. Truthfully I'm dreading the confrontation as I know she'll push them on my DD, but know it has to happen at some point

OP posts:
Haribosmummy · 03/06/2009 21:23

My DS is a year now and even NOW, if anyone gave him chocolate without my permission, I would freak.

At 10 weeks, I think it's horrible. Purely horrible. I think I'd freak beyond all control.

AnarchyAunt · 03/06/2009 21:42

I avoided the confrontation by just quietly Not Going Round. And I moved 100 miles away - that helped (though was totally unrelated, she wasn't that bad!).

I do wish we'd stayed friends really because I did really like and respect her but she would never have taken it well had I said anything. She was older than me and very certain about her parenting, and at the time I was floundering a little.

If you can do it tactfully then I'd try and talk to her and say, 'look, this is how we are doing things, please try to understand'. Try ways to deflect the issue - take healthier snacks everywhere, enough for both children to share? These days I am more assertive about this kind of thing, plus DD is older and its not so bad if she has the odd bit of crap.

But popping candy for a 10 week old is beyond stupid

fishie · 03/06/2009 21:53

it is a sobering thing, that you can't trust your friend. and of course you want to avoid the confrontation.

i found having to be assertive on behalf of my baby a challenge. i have sort of got it now, made me realise that avoiding things usually makes it worse.

PortAndLemon · 03/06/2009 21:58

I'd assumed at the start of your post it was a small child who'd done it (I caught DS closing in on DD with a marshmallow in his hand and a glint in his eye when she was two days old). Crazy thing for an adult to do...

dancingmummy · 10/06/2009 16:27

Popping candy??!!! I would have sobbed/killed them

alannabanana · 13/06/2009 14:08

who the fuck are these people giving their kids chocolate from 6 weeks??!!
please forgive this next statement as i know they are your friends but: some people should be allowed to breed!!
if anyone had tried that with my baby i would be typing this from the big house where i was awaiting trial for murder. you deserve a medal for showing such diplomatic restraint in my opinion. one thing though, make sure he knows never to do it again won't you...