Friend wonders if she should wean at 14 weeks

[goingnowherefast]

What should I do, wise mumsnetters?

My friend told me she was wondering if she should wean her ds (14 weeks). She is breastfeeding but topping up with formula. Her ds used to sleep through the night (9 hours!) but has started waking at 4:30 am hungry. She said she had read on a "baby website" that this is a sign that they need weaning!
I said I thought that wasn't true, and mentioned the growth spurt around that time (ok a bit early but could be the 16 week spurt?) and also some of the signs to look out for (sitting up, grabbing food and putting in mouth). She looked totally unconvinced and said "but I read it on this website" - implying why should she believe ME when she's read it in black and white from the "experts"!

So - should I send her a link to somewhere, and if so any ideas as to a good one? Or butt out and leave her to make her own decisions! I don't usually interfere with other people's parenting decisions but I felt I had to say something as that is totally wrong isn't it? 14 weeks is pretty early and she sounded like she had been misinformed.

Waking up more frequently at night used to be said by health professionals as a sign of needing to be weaned, but I think that's viewed as obsolete advice, now. Which website and was there a date on the advice? Because you could point out that advice changes over time, but websites aren't always updated. I can find links on the WWW that are almost 20 years old now, citing things like you should 'wean' at 16 weeks, etc.

Otherwise, I'd definitely butt out unless she brings it up again, and then (in a friendly way) you could say what you would do if it were your baby, and why.

14 weeks! it keeps getting earlier

i'm not sure what i would do. i think butt out, and if she brings it up again, say the who suggests 6 months.

little story: my brother was weaned at 4 months as per hv's suggestion. he was a big baby - they said he needed more than milk. so my mum did as she was told. he got such severe peritonitis that he nearly died. he had a couple of metres of intestine removed. he's now 49 and he has had diarrhea all his life. plus he's autistic, which they suspect is linked. all because of early weaning leading to a blockage.

she is probably desperate for him to go back to sleeping through !! perhaps say something like you have read that weaning, especially early weaning can give baby an upset tum/ wind etc that will make them more unsetteld and more likely to wake up more?

or something like, 'really? gosh, i saw an NHS weaning leaflet at docs/mum & tots/ HV appointment that said waking in the night was not a sign of needing food..'

NHS says no food before 17 weeks as a minimum BUT encourages waiting until around 26 weeks, with knowing what th signs truly are for needing and being able to cope with food

Cheers all. Unicornvomit - that sounds good, I wish I'd said that at first, I must have sounded really tactless. I know now why I usually shut up, I can never say these things in the right way!

She did say which website but not sure if I can say? I don't know if it really says exactly that but that's what she said.

Warthog - that's a sad story

I was tempted to wean early to help sleep (not 14 weeks but 22/23 IIRC) and what put me off, apart from the guidelines, was as Unicorn said, people warning that weaning can actually make sleep worse. That coupled with the advice to wait till 6mo put me off - and shortly after DS started sleeping through again!

it's really tricky. i have had this conversation a few times in RL, you can feel a bit preachy/judgemental/holier than thou..

tis a minefield

Yes, that's the problem - I always keep quiet in those situations if it's just a group of people talking and I'm there, but if someone addresses me directly what else can you do!

Chocorange - sounds like that's the way to go then - I'll say I've got a few friends who said weaning made sleep worse for them!