(is 'weaning' really the right place for this???) i have no idea whether to keep giving 14mo ds2 milk first thing in the morning - which is the better for him, milk or breakfast?

[Tutter]

... as i suspect his appetite for breakfast is lessened by the milk

he tends to have milk at 6am, breakfast at 7:15-7:30

ds1 refused milk from 11mo, so i have no idea when to start "taking it away"

You could give him breakfast first and then milk. If he likes milk he will probably find room for it!

You could give a cup of milk along with breakfast. My 2 year old (2 today!!) still likes a small cup of milk in the morning and it is either about half an hour before breakfast (he sends dh to get it if dh hasnt left for work) or he has it with his breakfast.