Baby screams in high chair so weaning is proving really difficult

[Summersun91]

Been trying to wean my baby since she was 6 months, and tried to practice with her in the high chair since 5 months but she screams every single time I put her in there. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to wean her if she’s too busy screaming to even notice the food.
I tried sitting her on my knee but it’s not very practical. I also tried the bumbo but she screams there too. I’ve put toys on the high chair to play with. I don’t know what else to try.
I know food before 1 is supposed to be fun so it doesn’t matter but

A) it’s not fun, she’s screaming. She screams during most of our family meals (is not hugely happy sat on our knee at the table either) and

B) She wakes up about 8 times a night and I have to BF her 5/6 times and I’m struggling mentally with this, and it seems like weaning should help (she won’t drink more than 2/3oz from a bottle during the day so only has 10-15oz of formula during a day, so need to get more daytime food/milk in her)

Any suggestions of what I can do? Just to add on the occasion she actually isn’t screaming and eats a bit she does seem to enjoy the food but this is quite rare. I’m doing a mixture of baby led weaning and purées. She also seems interested in the food when I’m eating with her sat on my knee. And I’ve tried playing music/singing.

Thank you

Have you got a fairly upright bouncy chair ? We had a second hand baby bjorn bouncer chair which goes quite upright and DD started weaning in that as she couldn’t sit in a high chair comfortably. (Cover comes off easily for washing).

5 months is a bit early to have started weaning, maybe she found it hurt her tummy or something. Could try having a break from it for a week or two and see if that “resets”?

How is she in a car seat? Not suggesting feeding her in one but just to see if it’s the seated position she hates generally

For lunch, try a picnic blanket on the living room floor, with plate of finger food for both of you to share.

The weather will soon be good to be able to go out, and the way I got my DC back to not being suspicious of eating anything after a nasty bug was to take things to have as a picnic - custard or purees in a little pot were good to start with. It was useful to capitalise on the point they would be hungry (go out before then, but expect it).

Watch them, but give them a soft, suitable spoon too if you are indoors. They should suck it even if it is empty.

Check the high chair for something like straps or buckles that could make contact in uncomfortable places. Same with any bibs, some tend to be tight or smell a bit weird.

For a little while I think they are somewhere between mystified and annoyed at adults turning regular attention from them, to opening their mouths and things disappearing into them, but thatt doesn't last too long.

Thanks for your reply. Just to be clear I only started weaning at 6 months, just tried to put her in the high chair to get comfortable from 5 months (although clearly didn’t work!)

Now that you mention it no she was never happy in the bouncer either. Car seat she did hate but has improved slightly recently. The only seat type thing she’s fairly happy in is the bath seat, but I suspect that’s also related to being in the bathroom as she still cried when I took it in our bedroom.

She doesn’t mind sitting on the floor (although have to leave cushions around her in case she topples).

She was in hospital for a week so has had an enforced break already.

Thanks, this is a good suggestion. Because it’s still early I haven’t fully got my head round all the finger food that is suitable for her at the moment, so I haven’t really got “a selection” at any one time, just a couple of veg sticks. However with time it should get easier for me to do.

Second the suggestion of a picnic blanket. Find a tarp or plastic sheet and give her mushy stuff as well as finger food

I saw something online about babies sometimes being uncomfortable sitting up if their nappy is digging in - is that possible? Is she generally ok sitting on the floor?

How old is she now? It sounds as though she's not sitting unaided reliably from the cushions on the floor comment. She will probably make much better progress once sitting unaided as then sitting generally will be more comfortable.

Does she put toys in her mouth spontaneously?

If she's neither sitting unaided nor putting things in her mouth to explore them then she might not be developmentally quite ready to really get on with weaning. If she's seven months it'll probably be nothing and she'll get there soon. If she's nearer ten or eleven months maybe have a check in with health visitor or GP to see if she might have any core strength issues which physio or occupational therapy could address.

Get the Ferber sleep training book.
It'll change your life. Your baby will stop waking up eight times a night.

How old is she? Can she sit up by herself?

I’d do things like soft toast sliced into fingers, cheese cut into fingers, slices of omelette, some cooked pasta like fusilli, and then a selection of whatever fruit and veg you might want to add.

I would forget the high chair for now and sit her on the floor with foods she can hold easily (toast/cheese/banana etc)

I could have written this! My second has a similar reaction to the high chair though interestingly he likes his bouncer. I actually think he might be frustrated that the high chair doesn't bounce as he keeps thrashing about in it and then gets upset when he realises it won't move.

He's 6 months and one week but can't sit independently so floor picnics not an option yet. My older one is poorly this week so I've just decided to take a break and try again next week. I think when they are this little a week or two can make a huge difference to their development. I remember my eldest didn't eat more than a couple of spoonfuls until about 8 months when suddenly they went for it. First teeth often come in around 6 months too (think mine is teething) so that can affect their interest in food too.
Not super helpful, but it sounds like you're doing all the right things!

Edited for typo

Some good suggestions here, but I'd also send a message to your health visitor for a check in and some suggestions and reassurance. They're there to help, it doesn't have to just be for really big serious things.

If she has been ill enough to be in hospital for a week she will have regressed behaviourally and developmentally. I would leave it for a couple of weeks. Give her as much milk as she needs, but give her little tastes of bland purees and finger foods she can hold and taste. Sitting on the floor is fine. I mixed purees with milk at first and used a very soft spoon.
I wonder if the feeding at night is due to comfort sucking or reflux rather than hunger? Sorry if I missed it, but have you considered reflux?

Is your baby in a pram seat yet? If so, could try feeding in that if it's fairly upright and baby is comfortable in it. I wouldn't give them anything too messy though, unless it's easy to take apart and clean!

Agree if she’s always hated sitting positions then maybe she has a bit of silent reflux? not liking any position that puts pressure on the tummy can be a sign. It can come and go and be worse during growth spurts. It might also explain the comfort feeding at night - although that could also just be a learned sleep association.

If she does have silent reflux then food can help but appreciate you have to figure out a way to get it in first!!

There is a growth spurt around 6 months so that might be making her more uncomfortable, maybe more luck in a few weeks?

Sorry to hear she was so ill, that sounds stressful.

Thanks all for the replies. I’m struggling with the sleep and the eating, 2 fundamentals so helpful to have suggestions.

Ive just put a bib on her and sat down on the floor with her and she’s still screaming. Wondering if the bib now has an association with the high chair. Will need to try without.

ill respond to the other messages as well.

Thanks, yes you’re right it will be easier (possibly) when I can sit outside with her, hope that is the case!

Ah I think she’s usually ok sitting on the floor but I hadn’t thought of the nappy so will be sure to check that thanks.

She’s just turned 7 months. She’s just sat at Pilates for 30 mins unaided so I think that should count as sitting. It’s just she does forget/get tired and fall sideways or backwards on occasion.
And yes everything goes in her mouth when not sat in the high chair. So she does seem ready.

Thanks, I’m not sure about Ferber but I have wondered about sleep training. My concern though is if the bad sleep is linked to lack of food during the day (which it probably partially is) then I need to improve that or she’ll still wake hungry

Just turned 7 months and mostly yes

Thanks, glad to know I’m not alone.
If her night sleep weren’t so bad I’d probably give up with the weaning for now, but because they’re likely linked and I’m desperate I’m looking for ways to move forward!

Thanks, this is a good idea. I have the health visitor coming round next week for a mental health check in after I phoned asking for help with the night sleep (they said I was doing “all the right things” and didn’t have any other suggestions), but I hadn’t started weaning then so I will definitely bring it up

OP weaning can be tough but see it as a long term thing. They don’t just start eating 3 meals a day. Mine took til about 15 months to really start eating and she has slept through at 18 months. I’d focus on creating a positive and relaxed environment around food, offer it but don’t force or encourage her to eat. Let her explore and make a mess. Eat with her. Don’t worry about quantity she consumes. I’d recommend Sarah Ockwell smiths book about raising a happy eater. With the frequent wakes, try reducing how much sleep she has in the day; she neeeds to be more tired for the night. Possible later bedtime as well.