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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

DH and I had (another) disagreement about BLW last night......please place your bets

39 replies

FAQ · 03/02/2008 18:54

He said it "wasn't working" and that we should "do it his way" (a whole other thread - which there is out there somewhere LOL) and that we should puree food for DS3 and cut out his 5.30pm bottle. Admittedly DS3 hasn't really been that interested in his food (he's just turned 8 months) but I'm not at all worried - there's a lot of him and he's not exactly wilting away with a lack of decent amount of solids in his diet

Now - I was extremely reluctant to puree anything for him, but told DH if that was what he wanted to do - then go right ahead. Anyhow, couldn't be doing with the hassle tonight of him telling me that BLW wasn't "working" so got our (very cr*p) blender out and made a 1/2 hearted effort to blend DS3's portion for him. It actually turned out looking more like I'd given it a good mix with a mixing spoon (ie still very lumpy and not really pureed at all).

DH has just coaxed/cajooled/whatever you want to call it most of it down DS3.

HOWEVER, I also cut out his 5.30pm bottle...which could have increased his appetite.

What's the betting that DH turns round later and tells me that "his way obviously works".....despite the fact that the food wasn't really pureed - and we have already been offering more "sloppy" foods with a spoon (so not "pure" BLW) and he's not been interested. AND the fact that DS3 probably had a slightly bigger appetite because he missed a bottle???

OP posts:

Wisteria · 03/02/2008 18:57

20:1

hunkermunker · 03/02/2008 18:57

Why is it a competition between you?

Is DS3 unhappy with BLW?

How did he cajole the food down him this evening? This actually makes me wince, seeing this sort of "here comes the choo-choo train" guff. Perhaps you could try feeding him his dinner like this to see whether it works for him?

Original poster

FAQ · 03/02/2008 19:15

HM - it's not a "competition" per se (whole wider issue of doing things "his way").

DS3 just not bothered with food much yet - yes he'll pick at stuff, but he'd just as happily go without. I'm not in the slightest bit bothered - DH thinks he should be eating more stuff/more regularly by now...

Doesn't "get" BLW - refuses to look at any of the information I've got about it either in RL or online blah blah blah.

I don't actually have a problem with spoon feeding - some of the meals I've fed him during the week I've spoon fed him......but if he doesn't voluntarily open his mouth for food I don't put the spoon in........whereas DH will shove the spoon in for a laugh/giggle/attempt at eating his own spoon etc etc........

OP posts:

terramum · 03/02/2008 20:41

TBH if my husband refused to read up on a subject I would refuse him a say in the matter....especially if it's to do with the health/welfare of a child.... but then DH & I are fairly relaxed about stuff & are happy to let the other person take the lead if they are more knowledgeable about a subject.

Sycamoretree · 03/02/2008 20:56

Why should DH have less of a say in how you wean your DS? I would imagine his concern is coming from a place of love and perhaps he is concerned that at 8 months DS doesn't seem to have much of an appetite, and this is making him anxious? You sound a bit dismissive of DH's anxiety, or have I read you wrongly? BLW is sound, but as with pureeing, some babies it suits, some is doesn't. Why the obsession with sticking to BLW? Most advocates would acknowledge there's no great difference in where your babes end up at 1 year. Why are you so proud that you didn't REALLY puree DS's food? I'm confused - do you think BLW is somehow preferable, like say, BF to FF? It's the same food going down them...

AitchTwoOh · 03/02/2008 21:22

oh well, i'd say that tonight isn't a fair test of anything as he didn't have a bottle. see what happens tomorrow. but it is a bit puerile to be talking about his way as working... men, eh? so competitive...

and yuck about the cajoling. i've seen photos of your ds3, you're so right he's not wilting away. like you say yourself, it's all just food, mashed or not, but it would make me really cross to see my child being 'encouraged' to eat in that giggly, daft way. i'd be much more pissed off about that than anything else.

Original poster

FAQ · 03/02/2008 22:20

Sycamoretree - no I'm pretty sure his concern isn't coming from the way you say - it's coming from him being a total prat and thinking his way is the "only" way to do stuff (with anything). And if you read my second post I say that I regularly spoon feed him stuff - it wasn't really pureed - because our blender is absolute sh*te. And besides - he's 8 months old FGS - he doesn't need pureed stuff, mashed/mixed is all he needs at his age.

Anyhow - I was right - I got downstairs after posting and the first thing he said was

"go and have a look at how much he ate"

tried to point out (not sure why I bothered I knew what his response would be LOL) that

a) he'd not had a bottle 1hr before dinner as he usually would have

b) that the food wasn't actually pureed - more just mixed together

and

c) that him shoving a spoon in his mouth at any time DS3 dared to open his mouth wide enough and DS3 then chewing and swallowing the stuff wasn't really a good indication that "his" way worked

decided not to mention

d) That perhaps he liked my beef curry

OP posts:

Habbibu · 03/02/2008 22:23

I'd be more impressed with him if he'd read up on BLW and then decided he didn't like it, frankly. I don't like the "cajoling" to eat, either - it just doesn't feel like it should be something you do to please somebody else.

LadyVictorianSqualor · 03/02/2008 22:37

I'm with Habbibu, if he had researched it and given good reasons for his choices I'd be prepared to listen otherwise, shhhhh.

DP knows this and agrees wholeheartedly with anything I say (ie he cant be bothered to research it)

nappyaddict · 03/02/2008 22:47

cut out his 5:30pm bottle tomorrow and try BLW and see what happens.

Original poster

FAQ · 03/02/2008 22:47

read up on it??????? DH?????? No - not unless it's something that he has heard of and wants to try out......then all his research is valid

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 03/02/2008 22:49

btw ds was 10.5 months before he ate anything other than the odd bit of a roast potato, yorkshire pudding and toast.

Original poster

FAQ · 03/02/2008 22:49

NA - I'm going to......but even if DS3 eats a DS1 sized portion of food DH won't believe it.............and he won't be here to see it.

You see he only gets to see him eating lunch (somedays), and dinner 2 times a week!

OP posts:

LadyVictorianSqualor · 03/02/2008 22:50

Theres your get out clause then, tell him youre totally fine with his way, you respect his input and appreciate him blah blah blah vomit puke blah and that if he can do some research to explain why his way is best then you'll listen.

Then when he realises that even with puree and mash weaning finger foods are introduced at sixz months he cant say much can he.

Original poster

FAQ · 03/02/2008 22:52

oh he doesn't mind DS3 having finger foods to pick at for snacks during the day.......but breakfast, lunch and dinner must be pureed so he eats more [YAWN]

Not sure how he intends on me pureeing the small piece of cheese and bread stick (he won't eat bread or toast.....yet) that he has for his lunch usually .

Breakfast this morning was quite good - he (voluntarily) opened his mouth for a whole 4 spoons of wheetabix

OP posts:

Original poster

FAQ · 03/02/2008 22:53

oh and he won't read up on it - he's right, end of story

(I'm also right - end of story )

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 03/02/2008 22:57

if he's not even there during meal times i'd say it's up to you how he gets fed

Tommy · 03/02/2008 22:59

lol FAQ - I think you may be married to my DH

Sometimes with my DS (nearly a year) he doesn't eat much BLW style but if I spoon a bit of something into him he'll eat it and I think it's because he's tired.

Something I have learnt forom BLW is not to try and cajole and chuff chuff the food into him. If he appears not to want it, then I leave it. It has made weaning him a whole lot less stressful than the other 2 and that is a good thing.

hunkermunker · 03/02/2008 23:03

Just hope your DS3 is like my DS2 then - would love to have seen your DH try to spoon food into his mouth... Just Not Happening.

Can you ask him why he's so hung up on how a very healthy, happy little boy eats food? He's hardly wasting away!

tiktok · 03/02/2008 23:04

He doesn't do the 'and one spoonful for grandma...' and 'now one spoonful for mummy...' and 'here's another for daddy...' and 'open wide for another spoonful for aunty sarah...' and so on and on and on, does he, FAQ?

I honestly don't know how people can be arsed.....

nappyaddict · 03/02/2008 23:05

my mum sings baa baa black sheep to try and get ds to eat

Original poster

FAQ · 03/02/2008 23:06

HM - I've given up wasting my breath asking him - right now he's not going to give in on ANYTHING. I shall wait until I return from Edinburgh in a few weeks time and then see if I can get him to go back to Relate......then perhaps it will be worth the effort.

I did sort of ask him about it last night - but (as per usual) he couldn't really answer....

And no kidding he's not wasting away - 23lb 9oz 2 weeks ago....and he's only just turned 8 months LOL

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 03/02/2008 23:06

Tiktok, agree totally. I have to rearrange my face when I see that sort of thing going on. Babies really are a different species to some people, though.

Original poster

FAQ · 03/02/2008 23:07

Tiktok - TBH I don't know what he was saying most of the time - I retreated to the kitchen to start cooking the dishes so could see him cajoling him, but not hear him, and then out to the garden for a cigarette - again could see but not hear.......and quite frankly had no desire to hear LOL

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 03/02/2008 23:08

Crikey, DS1 was 19lbs when he was 12mo!

It sounds like it's a "you do it my way for no reason other than I say so" thing

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