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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

help weaning a 3 year old

26 replies

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 15:30

We had decided that we were going to breast feed until she was 3....so she is 3 . I breast feed only once a day, in bed when she first wakes up. The doctor said they no longer give the shot to help dry you out shock...that I was on my own. She suggested to beging every other day...then every 2 days & so on. I need suggestions please!

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kreamkrackers · 25/05/2007 15:32

don't know but will watch with interest as plan to feed dd2 until she's 3. well done for getting this far.

kreamkrackers · 25/05/2007 15:33

might this be better on the breast and bottle feeding catagory?

Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 15:34

we've had a lot criticism from everyone....only the support we have found here and online research......best wishes to you!!!

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tiktok · 25/05/2007 18:14

BV - no point in having a shot to dry you up! Too many side effects (some very nasty) and nature does the job just fine.

Try 'never offer, never refuse' as a method...might mean getting up really early to do something exciting at furst so she 'forgets' the early morning in bed feed. Light mornings mean this is possible.

FrannyandZooey · 25/05/2007 18:20

Do you still want to stop, now that she is 3? Is your reason for stopping purely that you said you would stop now?

Personally I found breastfeeding a 3 year old to be a wholly positive experience - it was once a day only , and a very calming and loving end to the day in our case. You can negotiate with a 3 year old and keep your breastfeeding private if you prefer and I can't think of a single drawback to it! Loads of advantages however.

Most children, if left to their own devices, self-wean between 3 and 4 and the whole issue of breastfeeding is brought to a natural and gentle ending. Have you considered waiting for her to decide when she wants to stop?

Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 19:05

We had not considered letting her wean herself.....did not think she could do it on her own, because right now she cries if it's even delayed.
We feed in the morning after she wakes, so it is very private. When we stopped the night feed she did not fuzz at all.
Did yours wean themselves? how old? and was it sudden or every so often? tell me more, please

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goingfor3 · 25/05/2007 19:09

My daughter was still feeding a few times a day at 2 1/2. I decded I had had enough so told her she had drunk all my milk and there was none left. Surprisingly she was totally accepting and we had no tears. If I was happy to carry on she probably would have carried on feeding but I stopped at a time that was right for both of us.

Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 19:11

and your breasts didn't hurt? did you have to pump?

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goingfor3 · 25/05/2007 19:14

They didn't hurt. I guess she was sucking for comfort more than food. Any uncomfortable feeling will pass within a few days, it's best not to pump as your body will just make more to supply the demand.

Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 19:19

I know she is drinking because I hear her.....actually one side produces a whole lot more than the other.
Anyhow, I am affraid to get sore and end up with whatever it is called when you hold your milk

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Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 19:37

"FrannyandZooey"...can you share more of your story, please?

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NoNickname · 25/05/2007 19:46

Bella - at one feed a day, even stopping feeding completely and suddenly may not produce any unwanted side effects. I breastfeed ds, who is 3.6. At the moment, it's once a day, sometimes twice. I have not noticed any ill effects in dropping to one feed on the days that we have done so (his choice, not mine). In fact, sometimes, that has meant going from a morning feed one day to an evening feed the next, so more than 24 hours.

I went through a phase recently of wanting to stop, but in retrospect put it down to ds being a right PITA for a few weeks. I'm back on track with my hope that he will self-wean when he is ready, and recently he has been dropping the morning feed because he wants breakfast or because Daddy is up and in the shower and he wants to say hello, or even CBeebies is far more interesting!

Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 20:02

ha!ha! so are you doing "don't offer, no refuse"? just keeping it to the bedroom?

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FrannyandZooey · 25/05/2007 20:41

If she cries if it is even delayed, then that suggests to me that it is very important to her at the moment

she isn't showing signs of being ready to wean atm, this doesn't mean that she will never self-wean. The vast majority of children left to self-wean do so between 3 and 4. I thought ds would be one of the exceptions (very ardent breastfeeder) but when he was about 3.9 he decided he had had enough and told me so very clearly. "I am too old now Mummy" "I don't need that any more".

I wasn't uncomfortable physically because the feeds had dwindled down to a few minutes a night. There was very little milk left. Sounds like you are producing a fair bit of milk still so I would think you would need to express a little to keep yourself comfortable if you were to stop. It's recommended to express rather than stop "dead" if you are feeling sore as it can lead to infections as well as being very uncomfortable. The supply will drop off quickly even if you express a little each day.

I am guessing you believe that breastfeeding has a lot of benefits, to have continued all this time? I believe that children of 3 are still getting all the emotional and physical benefits that they were at 2, and that continuing until they choose to stop can be a very positive experience for both of you.

Pixiefish · 25/05/2007 20:56

My dd just stopped asking when she was 2y 10m. Is she likely to give up of her own volition do you think?

Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 20:58

FrannyandZooey: thanks for your input. Yes, we researched this, and actually found that there is as much in it for me as well as for her....which was a no brainer for me to continue! ha!ha! we did not research the ending though!!! We ;ike the idea of letting her stop by herself. Is it better and easier if fed at night rather than the morning?

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Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 20:59

pixiwfish: right now I don't think so....she gets mad if I don't give it to her when she asks in the morning.....but for what others are writing, they eventually don't mind???
She didn't mind when we went to one feed from two

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FrannyandZooey · 25/05/2007 21:03

No, I don't think there's an advantage per se, I just carried on with the night time one because I liked it, it relaxed him, and it was nice to lie down and reconnect at the end of the day. I didn't like the long morning breastfeed that he used to like, because I was keen to be up and about and it made me irritated, so I encouraged that one quite heavily to stop (exchanged for cup of milk and exciting snack plus cuddles, etc)

There is a great book called "How Weaning Happens" available from La Leche League. It deals with weaning at all ages with a large section on natural (self) weaning.

FrannyandZooey · 25/05/2007 21:04

Oh and I agree with you about the health and emotional benefits for the mother. I actually would have chosen to carry on longer! but breastfeeding has been a very happy time for me on the whole

Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 21:11

we have been blessed! We had a terrible delivery & had all sorts of issues brestfeeding in the beginning....it's great now! I am proud to have been able to stick it out!!! even with tons of criticism from the family shock

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FrannyandZooey · 25/05/2007 21:14

Don't tell them you're still feeding if they are unsupportive

none of their business

actually my mother was not at all keen but when he weaned I told her and said "I know you think I am mad but I am so proud I have done this and I think it has helped make him the lovely boy that he is"

she stewed on it for a couple of weeks and then grudgingly said that she AGREED

FrannyandZooey · 25/05/2007 21:15

plus Bella since I have stopped I have put on about a stone

think of all that lovely extra cake you can have now

Original poster

BellaVictoria · 25/05/2007 21:20

Ha! ha!ha! Thanks for all your input and support!!! The more I read and write on the subject, I like the idea of self weaning!! I just didn't know she could do it herself......

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aviatrix · 25/05/2007 21:53

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aviatrix · 25/05/2007 21:53

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