Baby led weaning.. Um what?!

[Gigimoll]

So I've ALWAYS been keen to wean via baby led. We started weaning at 6 months old and my dd is now 9 months. Anytime I've tried baby led it's about 30% going well and the rest choking. Dd has no teeth yet and I've attempted it again tonight (yes, I do cut things to size and the right size, I follow guidelines etc to not let her choke and she still bloody chokes! I'm encouraged by everyone to try baby led more than ever now by family so she can 'wear in' her teeth which I think is a load of bull as the foods are soft, but is there something I'm not getting?! I want her to learn how to feed herself even though she's really good with spoon feeding herself baby porridge etc, I'd rather give her proper stuff other than bought baby porridge, yogurt etc. But this is ridiculous. I panic every single time.
Can anyone explain to me what I'm doing wrong? Did you do baby led or like me, has it frightened you?

Is she choking or gagging? Choking is silent and needs urgent assistance; gagging is normal.

Have you read the Gill Rapley book?

What are you offering her?

If you've mixed methods (some purée foods), she could be confused and trying to swallow chunks because she's learnt to swallow, whereas with BLW she should learn to chew then swallow.

Don’t worry about sticking religiously to a method. It’s only food

Are you sure it's choking and not gagging? Gagging is normal and something they have to do in order to learn to chew and swallow.

It's unlikely she is choking it's more likely that she is gagging which us a vital part of babies learning how to eat and manage food in their mouths.

It's looks and sounds scary but you need to let them get on with it and learn how to manage the gagging reflex.

DD used to love the melty corn based snacks (Ella's kitchen/ Organix/ Aldi etc all do versions) to begin with as she could practice picking up and gumming food but it then melted away to nothing in her mouth.

seriously i doubt she is 'choking' or you would need to go to A and E.

What kinds of things have you tried?

It's unlikely she is choking it's more likely that she is gagging which us a vital part of babies learning how to eat and manage food in their mouths.

I really doubt this. DS never gagged on purées - in spite of the lack of gagging he's perfectly capable of eating food now.

OP, I genuinely don't see the point of watching your baby gag unnecessarily at every meal. That can't be pleasant for either you or the baby. If you don't like it, then try mushed up food on a spoon. It will literally make no difference to your child's development.

I am perplexed by the fervent passion for 'baby led weaning' on Mumsnet. Fine if you're happy with it, whatever. But why subject yourself to that when the evidence for any benefits is weak at best but mainly non-existent?

Also, baby porridge is just ordinary porridge that's been ground down to a finer consistency. The good ones have no additives. It's much easier to prepare than regular porridge when you have a hungry baby.

I really doubt this. DS never gagged on purées - in spite of the lack of gagging he's perfectly capable of eating food now.

Mine gagged all the time on everything. It's normal.

Choking and gagging are not the same thing. Choking is entirely silent. There's no way op's baby is genuinely choking at every meal.

At 9 months I wouldn't be expecting to feed a baby purées, they need texture.

I am not a firm advocate of blw btw, my DS had purées too.

My DS (now a grown man) did this as a baby. I was driven to tears - and we didn't have "baby led weaning" back then. But he just couldn't manage anything other than puree/mush for months and months. Anything remotely solid and he would just gag endlessly.

In the end I gave up on the advice that "he should be on finger food by now" "he should be chewing by now" "he should be able to manage semi solids by now" and left him to his puree/mush until he was a LOT older (like getting on for 12 months).

He "got it" in his own time. They all do. If he's gagging on anything other than puree, give him puree.

I'm not sure about the wearing in teeth thing, that does sound like rubbish. My dd didn't have teeth till she was one but we successfully blw her and later her brother.

I think the guidance says the difference is choking is silent and gagging is noisy. So spluttering and bringing food back out is more likely to be gagging.

Choking, you would be needing to intervene because they cannot breathe or get the food out themselves. And also, it's not as if the choking risk goes away as they get older. DS has form for shovelling his food in and needing help occasionally even at four.

Blw is a bit scary but you have to sit on your hands a bit and let them figure it out. Easier said than done I know and perhaps a paediatric first aid course would help you feel more equipped?

I highly recommend the Gill Rapley book, I think there's the original and the cookery book, which has lots of ideas for suitable food.

The other thing I stuck to was that food is fun till they are one, so it's not about how much they eat but about learning and new experiences. You have good days and bad days in terms of what they eat but they all get there in the end.

Some gag and some don't no matter what you do. DD never gagged and we did BLW.

We weren't strict about it and tried purées/porridge too but she hated spoons until she could do it herself.

She actually didn't eat large amounts until almost one, just picked at bits of whatever we were having really.

*Choking and gagging are not the same thing. Choking is entirely silent. There's no way op's baby is genuinely choking at every meal.
*

I know that thanks. Gagging is still unpleasant.

And my point still stands - the fact that my DS didn't have to learn to eat via gagging at every meal serves, for me, as evidence that gagging is not an essential part of learning to eat.

I did BLW with one DC - she gave me no choice, wouldn't touch purées or let me put a spoon in her mouth - and purées with the other. Both of them eat reasonably good diets and are healthy weights now. The eldest is less fussy but that could just be personality - she's more obliging generally.

I doubt your baby is choking, but if one feeding method isn't working for you both, absolutely no harm will come from trying a different one.

Maybe you're cutting things too small? Give her some bigger things? It's difficult to know what the problem might be.

I found the baby led weaning books really useful, the cookbook is the best. Ive done BLW with two of my children so far (the other is a newborn!) and found it great. No probs with choking and not much gagging.

I meant to say good luck! I hope you figure it out

We did BLW and it worked well for us despite a fair amount of gagging - the baby never seemed bothered and went right back to eating after they’d sorted themselves out. I knew they weren’t choking as they made a noise.

But I agree with others - if you don’t feel comfortable with BLW you don’t have to do it. All children need to learn to chew though so don’t let him get too old on purees.

Thanks ladies. It's just at almost 10 months old I keep being harassed by people telling me to put her on 'proper foods' but it frightens me so much.
Once I woke up in the night when she was 5 months old and she was actually choking on vomit from a virus and she was blue. I was in time to put her over my arm and slap in between her shoulder blades. It's terrifying. I'm going to take your advice with mashed things an screw what others say to me. I'm not ready to do it with her yet and as she has no teeth, I don't think she is really

Fucking hell, Gigimoll!! That must have been utterly terrifying! In your case I'd say stick with the purée and don't worry at all. Make it chunkier gradually (I did blw with two of mine and then just went with the flow with the third!) Food is fun til the age of one. Just do it your way.

My eldest gagged on anything even remotely solid for ages. So I puréed everything.
He's a healthy teen now.

DD is under a paediatrician, a dietician, feeding specialist and sensory clinic for her food. She's 15 months and now beginning to eat a wider range of textured but till she was about 12 months only ate purees. Every single person I have seen with her has said the same, give her time, as long as she's still eating something, whatever the texture, and gaining weight/developing properly, she's fine.
I never believed them to start with and used to get in such a state about it all so I can understand if you are stressed by this all especially with your past experience but honestly, if there's anything I've learnt going through this process with DD, it's that when they are ready they will get it. Just keep offering and try to stay calm. You'll get there.

If you've mixed methods (some purée foods), she could be confused and trying to swallow chunks because she's learnt to swallow, whereas with BLW she should learn to chew then swallow.

Oh God, I've heard it all now.

Offering your baby food is now about sticking to some kind of doctrinal METHOD, with NO DEVIATION EVER, and once you have offered anything in chunk form you must never offer anything not in chunk form again lest they gag?

OP, continue to offer chunks little by little, alongside some pureed or mashed foods so that she can actually get some food inside her. It's OK if they take a while to get used to lumps.

Do what works for your baby and tell every one else to feck off.